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Post by baza on Jul 26, 2018 1:43:21 GMT -5
Taking Brother timeforliving2 's example of a genuine and sustained turnaround of his ILIASM deal, how many other examples of that could you readily nominate from your own experience in our group where other members have managed to do the same ? This group only goes back to March 2016 so feel free to go back to the old EP/ILIASM site (the precursor to this group) if you are finding the numbers a bit sparse here (the EP/ILIASM records go back to 2006 and had 50k+ members) Be generous, but be realistic. Poll Above.
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Post by timeforliving2 on Jul 27, 2018 11:30:36 GMT -5
baza - In addition to some people that you mentioned in the other recent story chain mentioning "stats", there was a woman on the old EP site that I believe had a real genuine turnaround: Fireflyz26. I believe she was in her late 30s to mid 40s. She was not active on the EP site for the last 6+ months or so before it closed down and I never got any contact info for her before it closed down. But I remember her writing about her and her H both being Christian and both of them really realizing that they both needed to change in some areas, and in addition H finally opened up to her that he was sexually abused as a child. They worked through their issues with the help of a counselor and sex therapist and sex was restored in their marriage. She posted success stories for quite a while that mentioned the recovery wasn't just about sex... all areas of their relationship were improving. It goes back to what you said a day or two ago... Sex usually isn't the main issue, often lack of it is a symptom of a bigger issue. TL2
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Post by jim44444 on Jul 27, 2018 12:09:10 GMT -5
baza and timeforliving2, I remember that woman who turned her SM around via Christian counseling. But there was also another who took a different path. She negotiated an open marriage with her refuser H. Their rules started out as don't ask/don't tell. As he became comfortable he renogotiated to knowing where and who, then to OK to bring them home and he would be gone and finally he embraced his cuckold fetish by watching and being humiliated. Different strokes for different folks.
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Post by shamwow on Jul 27, 2018 13:12:21 GMT -5
baza and timeforliving2, I remember that woman who turned her SM around via Christian counseling. But there was also another who took a different path. She negotiated an open marriage with her refuser H. Their rules started out as don't ask/don't tell. As he became comfortable he renogotiated to knowing where and who, then to OK to bring them home and he would be gone and finally he embraced his cuckold fetish by watching and being humiliated. Different strokes for different folks. So you're saying the second example wasn't Christian counseling? Sounds like a typical televangelist to me.
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Post by Anonymous Steve on Jul 27, 2018 20:43:14 GMT -5
If you want to count lurkers, then my marriage has also turned around.
It was a sex vacuum for about 10 years. Sex is now returning.
You are probably underestimating the turnarounds, since the people in those situations may not be particularly active on the board. This is particularly true once things start to change
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Post by baza on Jul 27, 2018 21:11:01 GMT -5
If you want to count lurkers, then my marriage has also turned around. It was a sex vacuum for about 10 years. Sex is now returning. You are probably underestimating the turnarounds, since the people in those situations may not be particularly active on the board. This is particularly true once things start to change We may well be underestimating the "leavers" too Brother Anonymous Steve - since the people in those situations may now no longer be particularly active on the boards either. This also is true once things begin to change. I think we are best not to speculate about what inactives may (or may not) have gone on to do. I'd figure some have had turnarounds, some have left their marriages, most are still in their ILIASM deals. I'd speculate that these inactives would have gotten pretty similar per capita results to the actives. They sure as shit would not ALL be leavers, any more than they'd ALL be turnarounds. I reckon the "mix" would be pretty much the same as the actives. But, you claim a turnaround, that's good enough for me, you are now on my list. Addendum - Just checked, you were already on my list of 'known turnarounds' Brother Steve (from a post of yours about last August it seems)
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Post by baza on Aug 1, 2018 23:48:01 GMT -5
Poll has been up for a week.
It appears that no-one can vouch for any more credible "turnaround" stories than "somewhere between 0 and 10" Say 5.
My figure was 8. And I had to throw everything at that to get it. Even going back into the old EP group to come up with that figure. Even including a couple (modlulu and lovelyalone) although their deals have since tanked (but they did improve for a while at least)
But let's be generous and say there's 10. The membership today is 1,211. Turnarounds = 00.83% - or 1 in 121
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Post by hopingforachange on Aug 2, 2018 13:05:45 GMT -5
I can't see the poll on Tapatalk but you can put me in the semi turned around category.
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Post by shamwow on Aug 2, 2018 13:16:43 GMT -5
Poll has been up for a week. It appears that no-one can vouch for any more credible "turnaround" stories than "somewhere between 0 and 10" Say 5. My figure was 8. And I had to throw everything at that to get it. Even going back into the old EP group to come up with that figure. Even including a couple (modlulu and lovelyalone) although their deals have since tanked (but they did improve for a while at least) But let's be generous and say there's 10. The membership today is 1,211. Turnarounds = 00.83% - or 1 in 121 To get the percentage wouldn't you have to also include the EP membership from which you also dug into? You are only including ILIASM membership. .83 percent is likely high.
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Post by baza on Aug 2, 2018 19:40:13 GMT -5
shamwow . That is so, but I was at pains to include every 'turnaround' I could find lest I be accused of *doctoring* the figures to make them look even worse than they are. Suffice to say the 'turnaround' probabilities for an ILIASM deal are abysmal.
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