The world needs more acronyms, right?? Lol. Kidding, but I came across this one and shared it with my single sister-in-law who keeps thinking she can change men.
Don't Even Think About Changing Him
In love there is attachment, but to keep it healthy there has to be some detachment, too.
I know when I was dating I experienced my own levels of crazy, but I'm happy to say I learned from them. I hope my sis does too. She actually wants a guy she's dating to stop watching so much golf and to not wear carpenter pants. The kicker, though? She got mad when he suggested she not wear the cold shoulder shirts that are all the rage these days. I gently pointed out that was no different from her wanting him to dress differently. I also said it points to a shaky foundation right out of the shoot.
Am I wrong?
I didn't go into my relationship settling. I didn't say "well, I like him, buttttt......"
I accept my husband for who he is. He's a morally upstanding man, so any annoyances I might have are trivial and I detach myself from them. I celebrate the good stuff.
Just thinking outloud....
Last Edit: Jul 10, 2018 7:32:49 GMT -5 by WindSister
Those who feel lovable, who love, and who experience belonging simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging. - Brene Brown
That is exactly right! When you love someone you accept them as they are. I totally agree with the detachment part and maybe it’s who I have evolved into but I need my space, my alone time, and I enjoy my own company. Having independence and autonomy is so important in a healthy romantic relationship. I’m currently reading Ester Perel’s book Mating in Captivity and in it she discusses the importance of separateness to sustain desire. Right now I’m out having breakfast by myself and I’m at peace.
solodriver: Happy Birthday shamwow!!
Oct 11, 2018 20:35:02 GMT -5
shynjdude: Andie seems to have deleted her account here. Hope she's OK.
Oct 12, 2018 9:41:52 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, no! I hope she is okay...
Oct 12, 2018 15:31:30 GMT -5
solodriver: Maybe over what happened last weekend with the discussion board men vs. women
Oct 12, 2018 20:42:13 GMT -5
jetcity: Had to have my cat put down today. He was very old and he let us know it was time this morning. My wife went to visit her mother today So now It’s just me, the cats and dog and a couple cold beers. Now that’s a party right?
Oct 12, 2018 21:57:32 GMT -5
solodriver: So sorry jetcity, I've done that many times over the years, never gets any easier.
Oct 12, 2018 22:45:20 GMT -5
jetcity: I managed to create an avatar! The beard and mustache are kind of funky though.
Oct 12, 2018 23:30:07 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Welcome, dontstart! Feel free to post in the introduction thread; not many people see/use the shout box. Read and explore here, and hope you find us a helpful community.
Oct 14, 2018 10:41:21 GMT -5
caballotierra: Hey all, I setup a new account since my W figured out my login and was using my posts against me. Since we're going through divorce, I thought it would be safer to remove my old name. Although I feel attached to it.
Oct 15, 2018 16:12:30 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, wow. Sorry that happened to you!
Oct 15, 2018 16:36:32 GMT -5
caballotierra: Does anyone know how to delete my old account? Right now, it's still searchable, which is a problem.
Oct 16, 2018 12:12:19 GMT -5