The world needs more acronyms, right?? Lol. Kidding, but I came across this one and shared it with my single sister-in-law who keeps thinking she can change men.
Don't Even Think About Changing Him
In love there is attachment, but to keep it healthy there has to be some detachment, too.
I know when I was dating I experienced my own levels of crazy, but I'm happy to say I learned from them. I hope my sis does too. She actually wants a guy she's dating to stop watching so much golf and to not wear carpenter pants. The kicker, though? She got mad when he suggested she not wear the cold shoulder shirts that are all the rage these days. I gently pointed out that was no different from her wanting him to dress differently. I also said it points to a shaky foundation right out of the shoot.
Am I wrong?
I didn't go into my relationship settling. I didn't say "well, I like him, buttttt......"
I accept my husband for who he is. He's a morally upstanding man, so any annoyances I might have are trivial and I detach myself from them. I celebrate the good stuff.
Just thinking outloud....
Last Edit: Jul 10, 2018 7:32:49 GMT -5 by WindSister
Those who feel lovable, who love, and who experience belonging simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging. - Brene Brown
That is exactly right! When you love someone you accept them as they are. I totally agree with the detachment part and maybe it’s who I have evolved into but I need my space, my alone time, and I enjoy my own company. Having independence and autonomy is so important in a healthy romantic relationship. I’m currently reading Ester Perel’s book Mating in Captivity and in it she discusses the importance of separateness to sustain desire. Right now I’m out having breakfast by myself and I’m at peace.
worksforme2: hey nancyb, how are things perkolating with the older gentleman you spoke of a while back?
Jul 28, 2018 18:25:32 GMT -5
nancyb: worksforme2: Relationship died when we had a difference in opinion regarding UFO's and extraterrestrial beings. LOL I weighed in on the nay side and he believed they walk amongst us.
Jul 30, 2018 5:51:07 GMT -5
bc: I can’t stop laughing...go ahead, micromanage and analyze that marriage and see what she will do for you.
Jul 30, 2018 8:17:58 GMT -5
Dan: I think I'd have to see how good a new girlfriend was in the sack before I crossed her off the list -- or kicked her out of bed -- for believing in UFOs. I guess that makes me... male!
Jul 30, 2018 21:25:05 GMT -5
solodriver: It's been so long for me, I might see UFOs my first time. lol
Jul 31, 2018 1:42:47 GMT -5
beachguy: nancyb: He's right. It's all in the X Files, if you care to look.
Jul 31, 2018 3:45:13 GMT -5
nancyb: Dan: It was a tough decision, he was a good lover but the craziness ended things. Been dating since but nothing serious. I paint a lot.
Jul 31, 2018 5:57:00 GMT -5
petrushka: Thing is, someone being a fruit-loop about something like UFOs usually is not confined to one area; even if it is not immediately obvious. People who are nutty about one thing can go off at a tangent any time, I found (...out the hard way).
Jul 31, 2018 7:39:29 GMT -5
greatcoastal: nancyb: Sounds like you Identified a Fucking Object for what it truly is!
Jul 31, 2018 8:25:25 GMT -5
worksforme2: nancyb,...I am going to paint my living room soon as I can decide on the color.
Jul 31, 2018 19:15:08 GMT -5
worksforme2: When it comes to UFO's we always hear about "little green men", why are there never any "little green women"?
Aug 1, 2018 6:21:15 GMT -5
solodriver: I think I recall an episode of "Lost In Space where Dr. Smith was being chased by a green woman
Aug 1, 2018 21:29:17 GMT -5