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Post by csl on Jul 10, 2018 20:55:46 GMT -5
What I told her was we aren't going to live like this another year, that she is unhappy and I'm VERY unhappy and we need to hit the RESET button NOW. If not we will need to revisit this again. I just didn't want to put a threat of divorce out there so she would feel pressured. There should be NO PRESSURE if you love someone. If she won't/can't change her attitude and feelings, then she shouldn't be surprised when I have "The Talk" with her
To put a pin in it, as the meme goes, at least get a calendar for next year, and circle the date in 2019. In Red - and put it on the fridge. That way, it isn't something that you just said and she can ignore, because it was just so much of your usual word salad.
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Post by northstarmom on Jul 11, 2018 5:37:26 GMT -5
“What I told her was we aren't going to live like this another year, that she is unhappy and I'm VERY unhappy and we need to hit the RESET button NOW. If not we will need to revisit this again.”
That’s just a promise to have The Talk again if things don’t work out. What’s needed is for you to mentally put a deadline on when you will accept that the marriage is unchangeably sexually unfulfilling and then you will decide that it’s worth it to stay or to divorce.
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Post by shamwow on Jul 11, 2018 9:20:31 GMT -5
“What I told her was we aren't going to live like this another year, that she is unhappy and I'm VERY unhappy and we need to hit the RESET button NOW. If not we will need to revisit this again.” That’s just a promise to have The Talk again if things don’t work out. What’s needed is for you to mentally put a deadline on when you will accept that the marriage is unchangeably sexually unfulfilling and then you will decide that it’s worth it to stay or to divorce. And it is your decision whether to inform them that the mental line has been crossed. You will need time to form and execute an exit plan. It's amazing how much damage a hostile spouse can do on the way out if you telegraph things. But that's up to everyone to read their situation.
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