Post by twotimesone on Jul 27, 2018 0:51:38 GMT -5
If I was a accomplished professional like a doctor or lawyer and a woman would come up to me about this, I think this would be a bad idea. I would think that this woman would be some kind of gold digger or something. If I was accomplished professional like a doctor, I would not need to go after some married woman with emotional baggage when I can just pay some woman in ashley madison for the same thing.
Thank you all for your honest thoughts. I’m sitting here knowing you all think I’m crazy in putting so much stock into what just amounts to a crush on my part. I guess he’s just the first man that I’ve really been attracted to in a long time. I don’t know if I’ll ever contact him. Could the rejection I know would happen make things worse or allow me to move on? Who the hell knows? I guess I’m just looking for the “White Knight” who will save me and make me feel complete and rescue me from my SM. It would be so much easier than trying to save myself. I know there are so many other issues that I need to work on to put me in a better place mentally before I could make a better life for myself. I’m just so damn lonely, even with the husband sitting next to me.
It can be so damn lonely BECAUSE the husband is sitting next to you.
Which IMHO is why he seems so alluring. Someone you flirted with and you flirted back with? The thought of being with makes you seem a bit less alone?
Alluring thoughts but I'm with baza on this one. Unlikely there is any "there there" based on what you've said.
Sham's Law #1: Everything in life is simple. First you figure out what you want. Second, you figure out how to get it. Third you do it. The first step, unfortunately happens to be the hardest.
Thank you for all of your input. I guess I should fill you all in a little more why I ask this question. I have really strong feelings for a man who was once a doctor of mine. I know there are so many other issues involved with that but it has been over two years since I last saw him in a professional setting. I cannot stop thinking about this man. We flirted a little when I was a patient (I know I did) but I’ve always wondered if he was interested in me in that way. The reason I think that he might is that there is a video of him on YouTube for his practice that I watch often. It’s just so I can see him and hear his voice. It seems that for every time I watch it, someone watches it an equal of times. Could it be him? I don’t know but part of me thinks it is. The reason I ask what I did is that if I did decide to contact him would he think I’m psycho? I guess I was just looking for a mans opinion on the thought of contacting him. As far as his martial status, I believe he is married. Would a man openly flirt with a woman if he was happily married?
I get it.
Towards the end of my SM, I joined a photography group. I met a tall blonde man who was super friendly and nice. I soon started leading my own photo hikes, particularly sunrise ones because no one else was doing that and I wanted sunrise pictures. These hikes had fewer participants, but he was always there. I had a huge crush on him and daydreamed about him.
I don't think he was even flirting with me, he was just freaking being nice. Lol. But, I was so lost and lonely, and, yes, I wanted saving too. I never acted on my feelings because I then heard he had a girlfriend, but, yeah... fantasized like crazy. I still think of him fondly as he was just a cool human being. But, I'm glad I am where I am and I am with the perfect man for me now.
Anyway.... it happens. I'm with the others, though. Maybe just keep pressing on.
As far as being married and flirting... I suppose some men do. Happily married or not.
Last Edit: Aug 6, 2018 18:10:17 GMT -5 by WindSister
Those who feel lovable, who love, and who experience belonging simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging. - Brene Brown
IMHO, happily married men probably flirt with an attractive female who shows interest in them (we all like a bit of attention now and then right?), but there's a line that doesn't get crossed. Where that line is depends on who you are I suppose. For some, it's OK to meet said woman for a business lunch if you work together because nothing is going to happen. For others, they wouldn't even consider having lunch with her since they are happily married.
Last Edit: Aug 7, 2018 14:47:56 GMT -5 by flyingsolo
I have really strong feelings for a man who was once a doctor of mine. I know there are so many other issues involved with that but it has been over two years since I last saw him in a professional setting.
I'm with the camp of "I'd be flattered" and "fortune favors the bold".
I cannot stop thinking about this man. We flirted a little when I was a patient (I know I did) but I’ve always wondered if he was interested in me in that way. The reason I think that he might is that there is a video of him on YouTube for his practice that I watch often. It’s just so I can see him and hear his voice.
OK... the technical term for that is: "smitten".
It is a wonderful feeling early in the path of new relationships. Enjoy feeling that way!
It seems that for every time I watch it, someone watches it an equal of times. Could it be him? I don’t know but part of me thinks it is.
OK, frankly, that is borderline stalker thinking. Quit the fantasizing, and just reach out to him.
The reason I ask what I did is that if I did decide to contact him would he think I’m psycho? I guess I was just looking for a mans opinion on the thought of contacting him. As far as his martial status, I believe he is married. Would a man openly flirt with a woman if he was happily married?
Who knows what he would think. But if you DON'T contact him, you won't have a shot. If you DO contact him, there is a chance of the same outcome (maybe he's in a relationship or not interested in you). But that is the same outcome, right?
Reach out. Just be open to many possible ways it may play out. Or in my vernacular "detached": detached from any particular preconceived notion of how it will go.
worksforme2: hey nancyb, how are things perkolating with the older gentleman you spoke of a while back?
Jul 28, 2018 18:25:32 GMT -5
nancyb: worksforme2: Relationship died when we had a difference in opinion regarding UFO's and extraterrestrial beings. LOL I weighed in on the nay side and he believed they walk amongst us.
Jul 30, 2018 5:51:07 GMT -5
bc: I can’t stop laughing...go ahead, micromanage and analyze that marriage and see what she will do for you.
Jul 30, 2018 8:17:58 GMT -5
Dan: I think I'd have to see how good a new girlfriend was in the sack before I crossed her off the list -- or kicked her out of bed -- for believing in UFOs. I guess that makes me... male!
Jul 30, 2018 21:25:05 GMT -5
solodriver: It's been so long for me, I might see UFOs my first time. lol
Jul 31, 2018 1:42:47 GMT -5
beachguy: nancyb: He's right. It's all in the X Files, if you care to look.
Jul 31, 2018 3:45:13 GMT -5
nancyb: Dan: It was a tough decision, he was a good lover but the craziness ended things. Been dating since but nothing serious. I paint a lot.
Jul 31, 2018 5:57:00 GMT -5
petrushka: Thing is, someone being a fruit-loop about something like UFOs usually is not confined to one area; even if it is not immediately obvious. People who are nutty about one thing can go off at a tangent any time, I found (...out the hard way).
Jul 31, 2018 7:39:29 GMT -5
greatcoastal: nancyb: Sounds like you Identified a Fucking Object for what it truly is!
Jul 31, 2018 8:25:25 GMT -5
worksforme2: nancyb,...I am going to paint my living room soon as I can decide on the color.
Jul 31, 2018 19:15:08 GMT -5
worksforme2: When it comes to UFO's we always hear about "little green men", why are there never any "little green women"?
Aug 1, 2018 6:21:15 GMT -5
solodriver: I think I recall an episode of "Lost In Space where Dr. Smith was being chased by a green woman
Aug 1, 2018 21:29:17 GMT -5