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Post by baza on Jul 5, 2018 19:16:56 GMT -5
I find it interesting how many of us have removed our wedding rings as a form of silent protest. I also find it very telling that the spouses don’t comment. That is because they do not give a shit. In my ILIASM experience, the "grand gesture" (like my throwing my wedding ring from the cliffs overlooking the turbulent seas of Bass Strait) have about the same impact as the "silent protest" of taking the ring off, or the "symbolic move" of sleeping on the couch etc None. No effect whatsoever. All it does is get you dicking about on the periphery of the core problem. "Grand gestures" "silent protests" "symbolic moves" are useless in and of themselves.
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Post by choosinghappy on Jul 5, 2018 20:38:39 GMT -5
I find it interesting how many of us have removed our wedding rings as a form of silent protest. I also find it very telling that the spouses don’t comment. That is because they do not give a shit. I'm not sure if it's that they don't give a shit or if they just want to avoid any conversation that could (and should) lead to talking about why they aren't interested in sex and the major problems it creates.
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Post by tirefire on Jul 5, 2018 20:38:58 GMT -5
That is because they do not give a shit. In my ILIASM experience, the "grand gesture" (like my throwing my wedding ring from the cliffs overlooking the turbulent seas of Bass Strait) have about the same impact as the "silent protest" of taking the ring off, or the "symbolic move" of sleeping on the couch etc None. No effect whatsoever. All it does is get you dicking about on the periphery of the core problem. "Grand gestures" "silent protests" "symbolic moves" are useless in and of themselves. I became so much happier when I stopped protesting, internally and externally, and started taking action. Now I'm on an actual path to happiness. I fully recommend moving on to the action stage.
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Post by shamwow on Jul 5, 2018 21:02:44 GMT -5
That is because they do not give a shit. I'm not sure if it's that they don't give a shit or if they just want to avoid any conversation that could (and should) lead to talking about why they aren't interested in sex and the major problems it creates. Excellent point. But my vote is still for not giving a shit. Just my experience though.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 5, 2018 21:12:42 GMT -5
That is because they do not give a shit. I'm not sure if it's that they don't give a shit or if they just want to avoid any conversation that could (and should) lead to talking about why they aren't interested in sex and the major problems it creates. You are being to kind! Their avoidance,is to divert from confronting their own major problems, AND they don't give a shit how it affects you ( the other spouse) Some will never realize this, due to their life long conditioning,and will either remain lonely ,already have another victim lined up, or will be seeking another.
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Post by saarinista on Jul 6, 2018 1:43:18 GMT -5
Does this logo make us look too needy? I didn't know Bob Ross was in a sexless marriage. A goddamn shame... OMG I just saw your Bob Ross comment shamwow and I laughed so hard I nearly had an asthma attack. going to get the inhaler now! 😂😂😜🤣🤧😧
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Post by shamwow on Jul 6, 2018 7:06:00 GMT -5
I didn't know Bob Ross was in a sexless marriage. A goddamn shame... OMG I just saw your Bob Ross comment shamwow and I laughed so hard I nearly had an asthma attack. going to get the inhaler now! 😂😂😜🤣🤧😧 All the image needs is some little happy trees...
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Post by choosinghappy on Jul 6, 2018 8:03:46 GMT -5
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Post by JMX on Jul 6, 2018 15:13:27 GMT -5
We had a really, really funny meme/t-shirt thread going on a long time ago. Wonder if I can find it and thread it back up.
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Post by solodriver on Jul 6, 2018 18:51:01 GMT -5
Maybe a t-shirt with a wedding band on it with "SM" in the middle. Seems to be the common symbol in an SM
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Post by saarinista on Jul 6, 2018 22:06:02 GMT -5
Does this logo make us look too needy? I didn't know Bob Ross was in a sexless marriage. A goddamn shame... Nooooo! I'm just looking at this again and chuckling which is bad. I nearly broke my hand or perhaps I actually did break my hand a couple hours ago slipping on bleach while trying to clean my deck. 😜 (um yeah I'm the one who always does that not my refuser!) Anyway, my hands hurt so bad it even hurts to laugh. And an asthma attack would be a disaster. My other point was: isn't Bob Ross dead?
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Post by shamwow on Jul 6, 2018 22:36:56 GMT -5
I didn't know Bob Ross was in a sexless marriage. A goddamn shame... Nooooo! I'm just looking at this again and chuckling which is bad. I nearly broke my hand or perhaps I actually did break my hand a couple hours ago slipping on bleach while trying to clean my deck. 😜 (um yeah I'm the one who always does that not my refuser!) Anyway, my hands hurt so bad it even hurts to laugh. And an asthma attack would be a disaster. My other point was: isn't Bob Ross dead? Sadly, yes. Taken before his time.
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Post by time4intimacy on Jul 7, 2018 6:09:56 GMT -5
So, reading through this thread I did not know any group, other than a gang, used some "innocent" symbol to identify themselves. I will now know not to put my pineapple upside down, but more I think of it, it would be much more fun to swing than what I get now, so maybe my next pineapple will be upside down.
As for the ring, we both wear them all the time.
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Post by flounder on Jul 7, 2018 12:43:51 GMT -5
You mean the dead-eyed look of absolute despair isn't enough? Got my vote.
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Post by flounder on Jul 7, 2018 12:46:37 GMT -5
I'm wondering if there is - or if there should be - some sort of visual indicator that we in the ILIASM community can wear that would help us identify one another "in the wild". The only example I can think of is (so I am told) some members of the swinging community apparently wear black rings on their right index finger. Although our community couldn't have less in common with theirs, it might still be nice to be able to spot one another. Any thoughts or ideas? I heard that an upside down pineapple in your shopping cart indicated you to other swingers … lgbtq has the rainbow… the mental health community has the semi colon… we need a very subtle symbol - maybe a winking eye With a tear drop
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