This article may hit home for others in one, or many areas.
For me, it confirms my choice of divorcing . It was necessary to separate in order to have a voice. Had I remained, the only voice would have been my controlling, helicopter mom ex. Especially as we are entering the middle and peak of the teen years. I can imagine my teens thinking (well my parents this... and my parents that...) when in reality it was/is my controlling, ex spouce.
I did not want to wait until I was dead, or when they had their own children for them to learn, ("dad wasn't like that, that was all mom"- or the reversal as is true in many other couples)
Daily when my teens are with me, I find myself giving them a lot more freedom, and more distant guidance than what they receive/received when at their mother's house.
For now ,it is such an improvement to be able to offer an alternative, and it helps me to find and be my true self again.
Here's to years ahead, and an alternative lifestyle for everyone!
This is so true. My oldest is starting college this year and I am at constant odds with my W because she can't lay off and let him learn basic lessons for him self. Also my 14 year old is catching more and more anger as she looses control over the oldest.
Both of my kids have had conversations with me about her being overbearing and they appreciate me standing up for them or being an ear that doesn't judge. They will tell me anything and withhold as much as possible from her.
She is a great mom don't get me wrong but she can helicopter....
You are doing a great job and being consistent and loving will bring you a better relationship. Much of you kids following her is out of fear and co-dependency. You watch the future will tell.
solodriver: Happy Birthday shamwow!!
Oct 11, 2018 20:35:02 GMT -5
shynjdude: Andie seems to have deleted her account here. Hope she's OK.
Oct 12, 2018 9:41:52 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, no! I hope she is okay...
Oct 12, 2018 15:31:30 GMT -5
solodriver: Maybe over what happened last weekend with the discussion board men vs. women
Oct 12, 2018 20:42:13 GMT -5
jetcity: Had to have my cat put down today. He was very old and he let us know it was time this morning. My wife went to visit her mother today So now It’s just me, the cats and dog and a couple cold beers. Now that’s a party right?
Oct 12, 2018 21:57:32 GMT -5
solodriver: So sorry jetcity, I've done that many times over the years, never gets any easier.
Oct 12, 2018 22:45:20 GMT -5
jetcity: I managed to create an avatar! The beard and mustache are kind of funky though.
Oct 12, 2018 23:30:07 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Welcome, dontstart! Feel free to post in the introduction thread; not many people see/use the shout box. Read and explore here, and hope you find us a helpful community.
Oct 14, 2018 10:41:21 GMT -5
caballotierra: Hey all, I setup a new account since my W figured out my login and was using my posts against me. Since we're going through divorce, I thought it would be safer to remove my old name. Although I feel attached to it.
Oct 15, 2018 16:12:30 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, wow. Sorry that happened to you!
Oct 15, 2018 16:36:32 GMT -5
caballotierra: Does anyone know how to delete my old account? Right now, it's still searchable, which is a problem.
Oct 16, 2018 12:12:19 GMT -5