I would be done with her sexually but if you want to have some fun with her own idea then two can play at that game.
Do you contribute to the household? Chores? Financially?
Doing the dishes - blow job Mowing the yard - doggy style Vacuuming- your choice Cleaning the entire house - all of the above
I would stop my direct deposit and open my own account and if she doesn’t want to act like she’s married then she doesn’t get the benefits of marriage.
Well, of course I contribute -- chores and about 80% of the finances. Not sure I could ever create that kind of list, though.
I'd probably also have to teach her what a blow job is.
Uggh! I just can’t hit like.
If you have to teach her then it wouldn’t be good anyway.
If it’s any consolation or at the very least some support and understanding: i can remember around 2005ish offering to my H that I would do his laundry once a week if we had sex. To this day he does his own laundry he didn’t want sex with me - his choice, and I divorced him - my choice.
I can't count the number of times over the years my wife would promise sex if I did something she wanted. The few times she did it was enough to keep me hooked.
I can't believe I didn't even think how messed up that was at the time.
SM is sort of like living under hypnosis or in an alternate universe where our minds get twisted into believing the unbelievable.
I think it becomes more of a desperation.
I feel like I was literally insane for awhile at the end of my marriage. Maybe it was a normal reaction to some many years of a crappy marriage situation. I'm enjoying finally recognizing myself agaim.
Some people may think you can "tough it out" in sexless marriages; however it has been my experience that in the end staying can do damage that goes way beyond just being sexually deprived.
Post by ironhamster on Jun 26, 2018 18:13:37 GMT -5
In my case, I wanted my wife when she was runway model skinny, when she was overweight, and when she was back in shape. My wife refused me when I was in shape or out of shape. If she WANTED to be intimate with you, she would be intimate with you. Preconditions may or may not yield sex, but they are not going to satisfy your desire to be wanted.
Post by ironhamster on Jun 26, 2018 18:20:11 GMT -5
Let me add, take some of her advice. Lose the weight and get a new job, not because your current wife asks, but because both will help your own self esteem, then find a woman that actually wants to be with you.
Post by northstarmom on Jun 26, 2018 18:30:33 GMT -5
My advice is to get rid of the dead weight -- your wife.
Lose weight if you think you need to. Don't do it because of your wife. If she loved you, she wouldn't put those kind of conditions on making love to you. Anyway, you already tried losing weight and she backed out of making love. Face it: she's just not interested.
My post SM lover is about 45 pounds overweight. I still love making love to him. I was about 15 pounds overweight when we first got together and he told me he thought I had a beautiful body. In fact, he would ask me to remoe my clothes so he could look at me naked.
When I was in my SM, I lost 35 pounds and exercised 2 hours a day, getting down to the size I was when I was in my 20s. Even though I was 50, men decades younger would slow down and honk when I was walking down the street. Did my h want to fuck me? No.
Do the things that would make you the type of person whom you admire and enjoy. Don't do them for your wife. That's a waste of time.
Honestly it sounds like the lack of sex is far from the worst thing in your marriage.
It might be worth taking some time to think about what you really want from a relationship. OK, there are 'things' like sex, cuddling, intimacy, stability, security, financial benefits, social acceptability etc. etc. And you may well be getting some of that (although clearly not all). But in the way you relate to the person you want to share you life with, what is it that is most important? Mutual respect? Honesty? Unconditional love and support? Growing together? 'Getting' each other? Being able to face adversity and have each other's backs? Knowing that the other person will prioritise your needs as well as their own?
Sit down and make a list of the top 10 which have the most meaning for you. And then think about how many of them you currently have. Based on your initial post, if you get more than 2 out of 10 I will be surprised.
As h so succinctly pointed out your wife is a prostitute. So negotiate a better deal along with consequences for nonfullfillment of contract. She is treating you like a submissive boy toy, it is time to change the rules and take charge.
"Of all men's miseries the bitterest is this: to know so much and to have control over nothing." - Herodotus
Based on what you've said about your missus in your 9 posts so far Brother nyctos , what your missus "says" lacks any credibility. So it would be highly unwise to put any faith in this latest offering of hers.
If you want to lose some weight, and the case to do that stands up all by itself then sure, do it. It's got nothing to do with her.
If you want to stay in your ILIASM shithole, and the case to do that stands up all by itself then sure, do that.
At the other end of the picture, if you want to get out of your ILIASM shithole, and the case for that stands up all by itself then sure, do that.
Whatever you choose to do needs to be based on what is in YOUR longer term best interests, and pandering to this bullshit "trade off" position your missus has conjured up does not appear - in any way - to be in your best longer term interests.
Post by ironhamster on Jun 26, 2018 19:54:12 GMT -5
nyctos, I came here, as well as many other places, looking for a solution, a way to fix my marriage and have the sort of relationship I wanted and deserved. Those that came before me came for the same reasons. Those that have joined since came for the same reasons.
I wish I could give you the solution to saving your marriage and get you the relationship you want and deserve, but, I have seen this before and lived through it for over two decades myself. You cannot have a solution to both. Your wife cannot love you the way you need to be loved.
Post by GeekGoddess on Jun 26, 2018 22:02:37 GMT -5
Based strictly on the last time you tried this “weight loss for sex” transaction- no, you should not believe her.
No one has mentioned the cleverness of this limited-time offer yet. Obviously, there is some maximum limit to the amount of weight you can lose. Once you’re at whatever desired number of kilos - then what? No more weight to lose means no more sex? For the rest of your life?
So not only is this a straight-from-the-streetwalker proposition...it is a BAD deal, at that!
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! So glad to hear you had a great day
Jan 19, 2019 16:34:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: anyone hear anything lately from mrslowmaintenance or smartkat?
Jan 24, 2019 18:06:02 GMT -5
petrushka: Just saw the forecast for Mildura at 47C -- I hope you and Ms. Enna are going to be ok Baz. That's getting dangerous.
Jan 24, 2019 20:10:00 GMT -5
lifeinwoodinville: I last heard from mrslowmaintenance about a month ago. I have been in regular contact with her for the last year and a half. I feel comfortable in saying that her situation remains unchanged. If you want to know more PM me.
Jan 25, 2019 22:36:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey baza,...I know it's hot and dry down under. N.C. is having record rainfall. I would gladly trade some rain for some sunshine....
Feb 22, 2019 20:28:35 GMT -5