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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 6:58:04 GMT -5
saarinistaI'm a little bemused that the impression that people get out of this thread is that it is enormously difficult to be that careful. I'm not going to argue that it isn't better to just get divorced than to jump through these hoops, but I am careful with my real identity all the time anyway - I don't have social media accounts associated with my real name, I keep a completely different set of accounts/emails for a separate hobby I have where I don't want my name to be out there, so adding another layer to that is not that difficult for me. (I told my kids as they grew up not to use their real names online - it's too easy for bad guys to use that information for evil.) I don't know what happens next in my life but all the effort I mention in this thread was very, very worth it for me.
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 15, 2018 7:22:29 GMT -5
Shyndude, it does seem like a lot of work, far more work than divorce.
Curious about how you met and vetted your affair partners especially since finding no strings affair partners is easier for women than men.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 7:36:20 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 7:56:34 GMT -5
I should also mention that even my talking about my outsourcing on here is a calculated risk on my part by weighing the chances of this site being discovered against the very tangible benefits I get out of using ILIASM for advice and support.
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Post by surfergirl on Jun 15, 2018 9:27:14 GMT -5
I guess one of the benefits of being ignored is that I don't really have to go to great lengths to hide. My husband doesn't pay attention to me in any regard.
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Post by choosinghappy on Jun 15, 2018 15:30:09 GMT -5
I guess one of the benefits of being ignored is that I don't really have to go to great lengths to hide. My husband doesn't pay attention to me in any regard. This is kind of my situation too: With H’s asexuality (and our disconnect) I think that sex and cheating just doesn’t even enter his mind. In the past I have felt a bit insulted to not be seen by my H as a sexual being in any way but at this point I can’t really complain as it makes my outsourcing a hell of a lot easier.
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Post by workingonit on Jun 15, 2018 15:35:49 GMT -5
I guess one of the benefits of being ignored is that I don't really have to go to great lengths to hide. My husband doesn't pay attention to me in any regard. Yes, this is similar to my situation as well.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 15:37:18 GMT -5
I guess one of the benefits of being ignored is that I don't really have to go to great lengths to hide. My husband doesn't pay attention to me in any regard. This is kind of my situation too: With H’s asexuality (and our disconnect) I think that sex and cheating just doesn’t even enter his mind. In the past I have felt a bit insulted to not be seen by my H as a sexual being in any way but at this point I can’t really complain as it makes my outsourcing a hell of a lot easier. Interesting. My wife doesn't suspect anything but if she sees me interact with women as friends she tells me that it is inappropriate. (Once a long-term guest at our house who knew I passed by a certain shop every day asked me to pick up something for her, my wife said she should have asked her to ask me.)
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Post by choosinghappy on Jun 15, 2018 15:43:02 GMT -5
This is kind of my situation too: With H’s asexuality (and our disconnect) I think that sex and cheating just doesn’t even enter his mind. In the past I have felt a bit insulted to not be seen by my H as a sexual being in any way but at this point I can’t really complain as it makes my outsourcing a hell of a lot easier. Interesting. My wife doesn't suspect anything but if she sees me interact with women as friends she tells me that it is inappropriate. (Once a long-term guest at our house who knew I passed by a certain shop every day asked me to pick up something for her, my wife said she should have asked her to ask me.) And my H wouldn’t think anything of it. He doesn’t look at me in a sexual way therefore (in his mind) nobody else looks at me in a sexual way. He wouldn’t even give a second thought to me interacting with a member of the opposite sex unless he or I were blatantly sexual in front of my H.
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Post by saarinista on Jun 18, 2018 21:50:46 GMT -5
This is kind of my situation too: With H’s asexuality (and our disconnect) I think that sex and cheating just doesn’t even enter his mind. In the past I have felt a bit insulted to not be seen by my H as a sexual being in any way but at this point I can’t really complain as it makes my outsourcing a hell of a lot easier. Interesting. My wife doesn't suspect anything but if she sees me interact with women as friends she tells me that it is inappropriate. (Once a long-term guest at our house who knew I passed by a certain shop every day asked me to pick up something for her, my wife said she should have asked her to ask me.) Good grief, dude! Your wife needs to get a life. No offense to her, but she's really insecurte. I suspect she knows you're miserable and fears you'll leave her. That's really sad, because I think she's miserable too but doesn't even realize it. That's unfortunate.
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