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Post by ragdoll on Jun 5, 2018 16:08:48 GMT -5
Hello, everyone This is my first day on here, and after reading a few stories about Sexeless Marriages I wonder:
Is there anyone who actually got to a happy ending with their love one? Did anyone got to a point where they can have a healthy seaxual communication with they partner? Is it always the divorce/break-up the only way out?
Im willing to read some positive experiences and how they managed them?
TIA
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Post by h on Jun 5, 2018 16:24:45 GMT -5
The truth is, there aren't many. I'm trying to work things out with my W but only as long as she's willing to work with me. The vast majority of people here are in marriages that are too far gone to save. Mine may also be like the rest and I just haven't figured that out yet. If you came here looking for hope, you will most likely be disappointed.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2018 16:37:22 GMT -5
ragdollBy the time people make it here, it is usually too late. But at Reddit /deadbedrooms there are people who catch the problem earlier in the relationship and a few of them manage to turn it around.
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Post by tirefire on Jun 5, 2018 17:01:44 GMT -5
Hello, everyone This is my first day on here, and after reading a few stories about Sexeless Marriages I wonder: Is there anyone who actually got to a happy ending with their love one? Did anyone got to a point where they can have a healthy seaxual communication with they partner? Is it always the divorce/break-up the only way out? Im willing to read some positive experiences and how they managed them? TIA I'll share my positive experience. Coming here made me realize (after almost a year of contemplation and discussion with the w) that my marriage was lacking a lot more than sex. So my happy story is that I am separating from w and everything is going pretty positively around here. In a happy coincidence, I have already met someone sweet, kind, smart, oh so pretty (just downright hot) and more in sync with me on sexual matters. This might not be what you are looking for as far as stories go but I couldn't be more looking forward to the future now. So if you are willing to expand your definition of 'positive', you can count me!
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Post by baza on Jun 5, 2018 17:11:13 GMT -5
@time4living2 is the only one I can think of with credible claims of a turnaround Sister ragdoll . Bear in mind that there are 1,135 members here so time4living2 represents 00.09% Once your situation has deteriorated enough to get you googling "sexless marriage" the jig is pretty much up.
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Post by ragdoll on Jun 5, 2018 17:21:06 GMT -5
Thank you for your response. I will not dig too much into my situation (Would like to writte a post about it), but basically, we've been together for almost 4 years, not married yet, but pretty much in love. We reaaaaally want to make it work but Im running out of options. So no, I don't think is too late and yes, I do am looking for some hope haha. For example I just realised that my case it isnt as unusual as I thought. Some stories here are heartbreaking though
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Post by ragdoll on Jun 5, 2018 17:24:34 GMT -5
Yesss!!! Of course, if you feel like you're somehow trapped in a relationship, breaking free its deff positive, so Im happy for you!!! Though in my case, Im pretty happy with my partner, we truly love each other, and enjoy sooo much each others company. We just struggle sooo much sexually, Im terrified about breaking up with him (Sorry if my English sounds weird, its not my native) I'll share my positive experience. Coming here made me realize (after almost a year of contemplation and discussion with the w) that my marriage was lacking a lot more than sex. So my happy story is that I am separating from w and everything is going pretty positively around here. In a happy coincidence, I have already met someone sweet, kind, smart, oh so pretty (just downright hot) and more in sync with me on sexual matters. This might not be what you are looking for as far as stories go but I couldn't be more looking forward to the future now. So if you are willing to expand your definition of 'positive', you can count me!
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Post by juststuckguy on Jun 5, 2018 20:46:06 GMT -5
ragdoll I'm sorry to say, typically things don't get better. There are always exceptions, you have to decide if you'll bet on it for your situation! I married someone who is just about perfect in all different ways except for sex. Now been married more than 20yrs, things haven't changed for the better no matter what I tried. So if its not great now, it'll likely never be great ever!!
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 6, 2018 1:21:21 GMT -5
ragdoll, I'll echo what juststuckguy says: what you have now is as good as it gets. This could be said for most of us, at virtually any point along the journey. And it goes way beyond intimacy and desire, to a multitude of personal behaviors: they maintain or degrade, but they don't improve. Especially after 4 years of experience, you have a clear picture of who he really is - you need to believe what you see. He may be a fantastic friend, a great collaborator, an amazing business partner. But he's not the one thing uniquely required of a spouse: he's not your lover.
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Post by elkclan2 on Jun 6, 2018 3:50:54 GMT -5
ragdoll , I'll echo what juststuckguy says: what you have now is as good as it gets. This could be said for most of us, at virtually any point along the journey. And it goes way beyond intimacy and desire, to a multitude of personal behaviors: they maintain or degrade, but they don't improve. Especially after 4 years of experience, you have a clear picture of who he really is - you need to believe what you see. He may be a fantastic friend, a great collaborator, an amazing business partner. But he's not the one thing uniquely required of a spouse: he's not your lover. The other thing you need to believe is that you are who you really are. If you are a person who needs to have sex and affection and a partner who sees, recognises and helps you fulfil your needs - then that is who you are and it is not a bad thing at all. Many of us tried to convince ourselves that we can live without sex and affection - many of us tried to convince ourselves that we were otherwise happy but distracted ourselves from what was really wrong in our relationships by focusing on the lack of sex (although yes, that's an issue.)
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Post by h on Jun 6, 2018 4:51:53 GMT -5
Thank you for your response. I will not dig too much into my situation (Would like to writte a post about it), but basically, we've been together for almost 4 years, not married yet, but pretty much in love. We reaaaaally want to make it work but Im running out of options. So no, I don't think is too late and yes, I do am looking for some hope haha. For example I just realised that my case it isnt as unusual as I thought. Some stories here are heartbreaking though If you aren't married, then DON'T get married unless you go to couples counseling first. Don't make the same mistake many of us did and assume everything will be fine once you get married. A ring isn't going to magically fix this. You need to be proactive about this. Work out your issues with him BEFORE marriage or don't get married at all.
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Post by shamwow on Jun 6, 2018 11:10:27 GMT -5
Thank you for your response. I will not dig too much into my situation (Would like to writte a post about it), but basically, we've been together for almost 4 years, not married yet, but pretty much in love. We reaaaaally want to make it work but Im running out of options. So no, I don't think is too late and yes, I do am looking for some hope haha. For example I just realised that my case it isnt as unusual as I thought. Some stories here are heartbreaking though Do not marry. Do not have kids. This situation should be resolved prior to additional entanglements and without bringing additional people into the mix.
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Post by ragdoll on Jun 6, 2018 16:45:35 GMT -5
Yes, after 3 and a half years or so, of course everyone start thinking about marrying. But I have had some examples of friends, who have gotten married thinking it will resolve things. I do have that very clear, if we don't fix this I wont get married. Thank you all. I've like you guys to read the post about my current situation, I know it's long and boring, but I think, maybe as you guys have more experience, could give me your thoughts about it. Thank you all for your words.
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Post by shamwow on Jun 6, 2018 17:16:51 GMT -5
Yes, after 3 and a half years or so, of course everyone start thinking about marrying. But I have had some examples of friends, who have gotten married thinking it will resolve things. I do have that very clear, if we don't fix this I wont get married. Thank you all. I've like you guys to read the post about my current situation, I know it's long and boring, but I think, maybe as you guys have more experience, could give me your thoughts about it. Thank you all for your words. Not long and not boring. Folks like yourself are why many of us stick around even after our own SM is done with. I wish someone had been around 21 years ago to tell me to run.
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Post by h on Jun 6, 2018 20:14:44 GMT -5
Yes, after 3 and a half years or so, of course everyone start thinking about marrying. But I have had some examples of friends, who have gotten married thinking it will resolve things. I do have that very clear, if we don't fix this I wont get married. Thank you all. I've like you guys to read the post about my current situation, I know it's long and boring, but I think, maybe as you guys have more experience, could give me your thoughts about it. Thank you all for your words. Lay it on us! Nothing is too long or boring. For some of us, this may be the most interesting part of our day.
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