Post by juststuckguy on Jun 2, 2018 17:27:31 GMT -5
This is my third SM-related site. The previous two closed down, that's how old my affliction is! I lost all my stuff in the first one, I just saved out my stuff from the second - experienceproject (thank God!). Over the years, SM postings etc. have cost me serious time, but have kept me sane while I go for the world-record (more on that later). Here I'm copying my post from 10yrs ago (it is numbing to see the dates on my exported old post).
Posted: May 17, 2008 17:54
It is so draining I almost don't want to write this. But I'm sick of it either way. I live in a sexless marriage. I've fought to have sex for years, and finally the constant rejection and weaseling have got to me. I won't beg, and I won't ask it anymore. We're one week away from celebrating 1 year of sexless existence. Only I'm keeping track!
Over the years I have tried everything. We've been married 10 yrs, together 12. She refuses to go to counseling, won't discus her non-existent sex drive w/ her doc. Has hypothyroidism so I know that impacts sexdrive.
I keep myself busy so I won't focus on this little problem but when I have a time to catch my breath I get frustrated/depressed right away. I hate being sad.
I'm an extremely independent guy. I can't believe my luck that the one activity that I need two to play, she won't participate, and being as I'm married, I can't seek elsewhere. I still won't beg. I want sex with someone who wants to have it, and with me.
Over the years I have begun to harden in my heart. I won't answer her properly, do what I like, am rude, wont' do things like she wants them, when she wants them, argue in front of her family, and generally be a boor but she doesn't get it still. I care less and less. Now I just won't do stuff she's dependent on me for. Like she wants to visit her folks who live far far away and she wants me to travel with her (so I can help with the kids, and be manual labor for the luggage), but after almost agreeing I said no. Very satisfying. Gives me perverse pleasure...
She says she has no drive. No she used to say that. Now...
Anyway, I can't bear to keep writing about this anymore. I just resent her (which is turning into slow-burn hate) that she's taken my prime years unfulfilled. Soon I'll have incontinence, or prostrate issues, or whatever and my equipment will begin to fail. On average, I recon you probably have maybe 20 good years as a virile man, and I've lost most of them already to her non-participation.
Recently I siged up for some late-night adult channels. Late night fake-boob porn is better than nothing.
I would have been gone had it not for the kids.
I'm just waiting to divorce once my kids are 18, or find a friend w/ benefits if I'm lucky. I wish people read these sexless stories before they get married. If I'd to do it again, I wouldn't marry, or have kids, and have courage to tell the world openly.
This life's going nowhere. This isn't what I'd imagined before I got married. I will never forgive her.
That was 10 yrs ago. This is now-
We haven't had sex at all in the last 7 yrs. About 11yrs ago, there was a rush to have sex every night for about 2 months so she could conceive. That conception turned into a most wonderful child who is now 10yrs old. In the 8yrs prior to last 7, we had sex less than 10times a year. I have another 8yrs to go before I feel comfortable formally separating.
Meanwhile, life keeps at it. I'm busier than before, have little privacy, and a routine that I've reduced to only work and home. I daydream about finding someone with similar needs, and about one day being out of this meaningless marriage.
Posted: May 17, 2008 17:54
It is so draining I almost don't want to write this. But I'm sick of it either way. I live in a sexless marriage. I've fought to have sex for years, and finally the constant rejection and weaseling have got to me. I won't beg, and I won't ask it anymore. We're one week away from celebrating 1 year of sexless existence. Only I'm keeping track!
Over the years I have tried everything. We've been married 10 yrs, together 12. She refuses to go to counseling, won't discus her non-existent sex drive w/ her doc. Has hypothyroidism so I know that impacts sexdrive.
I keep myself busy so I won't focus on this little problem but when I have a time to catch my breath I get frustrated/depressed right away. I hate being sad.
I'm an extremely independent guy. I can't believe my luck that the one activity that I need two to play, she won't participate, and being as I'm married, I can't seek elsewhere. I still won't beg. I want sex with someone who wants to have it, and with me.
Over the years I have begun to harden in my heart. I won't answer her properly, do what I like, am rude, wont' do things like she wants them, when she wants them, argue in front of her family, and generally be a boor but she doesn't get it still. I care less and less. Now I just won't do stuff she's dependent on me for. Like she wants to visit her folks who live far far away and she wants me to travel with her (so I can help with the kids, and be manual labor for the luggage), but after almost agreeing I said no. Very satisfying. Gives me perverse pleasure...
She says she has no drive. No she used to say that. Now...
Anyway, I can't bear to keep writing about this anymore. I just resent her (which is turning into slow-burn hate) that she's taken my prime years unfulfilled. Soon I'll have incontinence, or prostrate issues, or whatever and my equipment will begin to fail. On average, I recon you probably have maybe 20 good years as a virile man, and I've lost most of them already to her non-participation.
Recently I siged up for some late-night adult channels. Late night fake-boob porn is better than nothing.
I would have been gone had it not for the kids.
I'm just waiting to divorce once my kids are 18, or find a friend w/ benefits if I'm lucky. I wish people read these sexless stories before they get married. If I'd to do it again, I wouldn't marry, or have kids, and have courage to tell the world openly.
This life's going nowhere. This isn't what I'd imagined before I got married. I will never forgive her.
That was 10 yrs ago. This is now-
We haven't had sex at all in the last 7 yrs. About 11yrs ago, there was a rush to have sex every night for about 2 months so she could conceive. That conception turned into a most wonderful child who is now 10yrs old. In the 8yrs prior to last 7, we had sex less than 10times a year. I have another 8yrs to go before I feel comfortable formally separating.
Meanwhile, life keeps at it. I'm busier than before, have little privacy, and a routine that I've reduced to only work and home. I daydream about finding someone with similar needs, and about one day being out of this meaningless marriage.