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Post by choosinghappy on May 29, 2018 14:10:13 GMT -5
(Can you tell by all my posts today that Iโm stuck in the house and bored? ๐)
I just read something on the love languages and was curious to see how everyone here ranks them in order of importance for themselves, AND how you think your spouse ranks them.
Physical Touch Quality Time Words of Affirmation Acts of Service Gift Giving
If my predictions are correct, a lot of people here will rank touch as one of the top ones for themselves but not for their refuser spouses.
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Post by choosinghappy on May 29, 2018 14:11:52 GMT -5
Mine goes:
Touch Quality time Words of affirmation Acts of service Gifts
His seems to go:
Acts of service Gifts Words of affirmation Quality time Touch
Almost complete opposites. No wonder why. ๐
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Post by h on May 29, 2018 14:31:35 GMT -5
I took the test a while ago and touch 12 was my highest followed by quality time 7, words of affirmation 6, acts of service 5, and gifts last at 0.
(And yes, I thought you seemed bored.) ๐
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2018 15:09:37 GMT -5
I couldn't find an online quiz to rank all five, but touch is definitely first for me, probably followed by words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service.
For my wife it is acts of service. And nothing else.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2018 15:14:37 GMT -5
I would only be guessing for my "wife" (she would never take such a test) but here goes:
Mine goes:
Words of affirmation Touch Quality time Acts of service Gifts
Hers:
Acts of service (mostly this-it's exhausting) Quality time (somewhat this) Words of affirmation (minimal) Gifts (minimal) Touch (non-existant)
It's been a rough couple of weeks. Acts of service vs. Words/touch has felt like a bad bargain for years and I've gotten resentful lately. I don't like myself when I'm that way but it all feels like such useless b.s. She's not happy, I'm not happy. No wonder after you review this list, neither of us are getting much of what we need although I AM working my ass off damn near all the time. Why does she get to add to my to-do list? Maybe if I wrote, "hold hands", "say something nice", "fuck" on her to-do list it would work.
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Post by choosinghappy on May 29, 2018 17:13:58 GMT -5
(And yes, I thought you seemed bored.) ๐ Haha! Getting carpets ripped up and replaced with hardwood flooring today so I was stuck here all day. Had to keep myself entertained ๐
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Post by h on May 29, 2018 17:16:06 GMT -5
I couldn't find an online quiz to rank all five, but touch is definitely first for me, probably followed by words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service. For my wife it is acts of service. And nothing else. www.5lovelanguages.com^there's the quiz
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Post by bballgirl on May 29, 2018 17:18:09 GMT -5
I'm words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and gifts.
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Post by choosinghappy on May 29, 2018 17:19:50 GMT -5
I'm words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and gifts. Interesting bballgirl. With touch ranking third for you I wonder if thatโs how youโre ok outsourcing sex outside of your primary relationship. Hmm
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2018 17:22:59 GMT -5
Thanks h, I was pretty close.
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Post by h on May 29, 2018 17:27:30 GMT -5
Thanks h , I was pretty close. It was linked in a thread here a long time ago and I couldn't find it but I remembered that I had bookmarked it for myself. Now everyone can see it again.โบ๏ธ
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Post by bballgirl on May 29, 2018 17:41:23 GMT -5
I'm words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and gifts. Interesting bballgirl. With touch ranking third for you I wonder if thatโs how youโre ok outsourcing sex outside of your primary relationship. Hmm During my marriage when I took the test physical touch was second and quality time third however I was starved for sex and attention. Now I feel mentally and emotionally healthier. I'm not sex starved my libido isn't as crazy as it was. I retook the test while I was single and it surprised me that my love language shifted a little. As far as why I'm ok with outsourcing sex, a lot of that has to do with the compatibility and chemistry I have with my friend/ lover. It's just easy and simple and we are very open and comfortable around each other with zero inhibitions. Some of that has to do with me too. I was in a sm for 23 years my H was my first boyfriend and the only man I was ever sexual with. At the end of my marriage I felt angry, resentful, and I felt like he robbed me of some of my best sexual years. So by getting the divorce I was free to explore my sexuality and check things off of bucket lists, heck I just christened my new car last week and it's over a year old, so I felt less anger and I healed after the divorce and I figured out what I really wanted for myself. With my ex H - he's my best friend and I know at the end of the day we're family and he's got my back. For ME this works and not for nothing but supporting one household instead of two makes it possible for me to save money for the future and not live paycheck to paycheck as a single mom on a teacher's salary.
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Post by flounder on May 29, 2018 17:48:40 GMT -5
Mine goes: Touch Quality time Words of affirmation Acts of service Gifts His seems to go: Acts of service Gifts Words of affirmation Quality time Touch Almost complete opposites. No wonder why. ๐ Mine is like yours.
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Post by workingonit on May 29, 2018 17:50:42 GMT -5
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Post by choosinghappy on May 29, 2018 17:52:45 GMT -5
Oh good! Reply to the sex one! Lol!
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