|
Post by shamwow on May 30, 2018 7:30:34 GMT -5
greatcoastal, I empathize greatly with the fact that you drew the short straw and definitely got the bitch end of the stick in your deal. Your ex sounds like some of the worst in humanity, and it seems very reasonable for you to hold a huge grudge against her. But I gotta tell you... as a man... and with no candy coating here... you're letting the pendulum swing way too far into bitterness and intolerance. Standing up for yourself is one thing (and healthy); running roughshod over others is entirely different. Don't be that guy. The vast majority of women are nothing like your ex, but you're assuming "battle mode" as your default even in the grocery store aisle. That's guaranteed to find hostility where there was no mal intent - you'll create a self-fulfilling prophecy and the spiral will continue. I would suggest to find your happy place and spend a shitload of time in it to decompress, now that you've escaped. Painting, museums, fishing, meditation, whatever. Unload on a therapist. The outside world is nowhere near as hostile or controlling as what you've endured, and you need to recalibrate your point of reference if you want to achieve the life you hope for. To sandblast the last vestige of sugar coating off, chicks don't dig guys who are angry and bitter with women (well not well adjusted ones anyway). Are there manipulative women out there? You betcha. I was married to one for 20 years who is the primary reason I'm an alcoholic. I'll be digging myself out from under that for the rest of my life. But the shrink for men and red pill stuff goes WAY too far the other direction. Not every disagreement is manipulation. Not everything is a threat. It may be hard hearing that right out of the marriage, but the sooner you internalize that the happier you will be.
|
|
|
Post by darktippedrose on Jun 2, 2018 1:59:22 GMT -5
I don't know if my husband thinks he loves me. He hasn't said I love you in years. And I can't bring myself to say it to him either. I quit calling him my habibi years ago (it means like sweetheart in Arabic).
My husband thinks the way he treats me is normal. that a man can love his wife and cheat on her all the time. And that its normal. he thinks its abnormal for a man to still do things with his wife, to touch her like they just met, etc.
So maybe in his own mind, he still loves me. But I don't see it as that at all.
|
|