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Post by greatcoastal on May 11, 2018 7:48:47 GMT -5
What will this weekend be like for you?
Some of us lost a mother on Mothers day.
Some people never knew their mother.
Some people have several mothers.
Others reflect on the memories of mothers who have past away or live in retirement homes, or we have lost touch with our mothers.
Then their is "the family" unit and what will happen to celebrate mom?
How does/or should one spouse show their gratitude?
What would the mothers on here like their "mothers day" to be like?
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Post by WindSister on May 11, 2018 10:07:00 GMT -5
We celebrate our "elder momma's" because they are still alive and here with us. They like the fancy cards, still, and the flowers. And the lunch. We lucked out because my mom is coming to see us this weekend so we will get to see them both, not leaving one out. We got an invite to go to my husband's daughter's house tomorrow to Celebrate Mother's Day. I thought that was sweet. We are busy and can't make it, but I thanked her for including us because I definitely recognize she didn't have to. I am not sad about not having to spend yet another weekend with my husband's ex wife, though. (Seriously, there are way too many "joint celebrations!"). In the past it has seemed Father's Day is very downplayed for my husband. Course, he honestly doesn't care or need a big "to do" and actually prefers just doing what he wants. I am not a mom, so there's that. I just honor who I can and get on with life! When it comes to "special days" I honestly feel there are TOO MANY. This might not be a popular view point, but now with Facebook it seems there is always some "special day" to celebrate and it makes me roll my eyes a bit. Everyone needs to feel special. I think that's our society today. Interesting to note Mother's Day was actually started by a woman who was not a mom, and it seems she later came to resent how commercialized the "holiday" became. Course, that's all holidays now. Obligations to do this and that over and over and over again, year after year after year...... Life in that sense is like one big "Groundhog The Movie Day." (I am not a traditionalist when it comes to holidays, they actually rather bore me.)
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Post by bballgirl on May 11, 2018 10:11:13 GMT -5
Saturday- Soccer game for daughter then a play at the theater and dinner with a gf
Sunday - R and R (I'm staying in pajamas all day!) Mr Bballgirl already told me to tell him what I want him to cook for me He will probably get me flowers, a card and chocolates too from him and the kids. My daughter also makes homemade pictures and cards for me which I love. Last year both kids wrote me a letter for Mother's Day. (Their dad's idea)
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Post by elkclan2 on May 11, 2018 11:40:43 GMT -5
Well, I will call my mother. And that's probably it. It's not Mother's Day in the UK - that was back in March and I won't be celebrating American mother's day on my own behalf. However, I will be driving my stepkids back to their mother's house about 2.5 hours away. So yay! Five hours in the car. However, I haven't seen them in a month and their dad is going away for work early, early, early Sunday morning, so this allows my partner more time with his kids and our boys more time together. I'm not so pleased with the idea of hanging out with their mom while they inevitably ask my son in the house and ask for more time with him and my son bitches about leaving. :-(
I'm also a little bit pissed off about this whole driving back thing. We talked about it ages ago and I really wanted to do it, but their mother said no and I understood. All of a sudden as in a couple of hours ago, she changed her mind. But she didn't ask if it was still ok, but rather, assumed it was back on. I suppose she got a better offer for Saturday night. Grrr. I'm not happy as I feel I'm being messed around, but on the other hand, I'm getting what I wanted, so I'm happy.
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Post by northstarmom on May 11, 2018 11:50:43 GMT -5
I’m divorced. My sons are grown and living away. My ex fil, their granddad, died 2 days ago. Understandably, I’m not expecting any kind of remembrance Sunday. On a typical Mother’s Day, my sons call.
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Post by GeekGoddess on May 11, 2018 12:59:09 GMT -5
I was a stepmom while married. I’ll get to see 2 of those 3 kids on Saturday when the oldest (finally) graduates college with a BS. Because of her physical injuries as well as mental health challenges, she has worked toward the degree for close to 10 years. I am so proud of her! I’ll see my own mom after the grad lunch.
Sunday, I work. My clients are mostly ALL moms - so I will do something nice for them, maybe.
I’m not a traditionalist on holidays either & actually rather defiant about most of them.
My pops had his 93rd birthday earlier this week - which I think is more special than the Mother’s Day idea. But I can’t go visit only half the parents lol. They will each get a card when I see them. They actually count the visit as a gift from me in lots of ways because they know how many classes & jobs I’m currently juggling. But I’m glad to get to see them, even if it will only be for a little while.
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Post by h on May 11, 2018 13:42:32 GMT -5
We got it out of the way last weekend with my mom and sister. Her birthday was last weekend so we combined it and gave out all the gifts and cards for both of them. I'll be working this weekend at job #2 so I won't see anyone but I'll call my mom. We'll do something with my MIL some evening this weekend. No kids so the holiday won't exist in our house.
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Post by mescaline on May 11, 2018 15:05:51 GMT -5
My Mum passed away a few years back, so I spend time remembering her.
I celebrate it with my wife and kids too, it's the easiest one for me compared to birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries and valentines as I don't dwell on the SM shithole!
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Post by ironhamster on May 12, 2018 3:16:08 GMT -5
I met with my mother tonight at a kids event, and afterwards gave her a nice arrangement of cut flowers. I can't meet with her on Mothers Day. It is my last day at work. My choice. Monday I start loading up the truck, and hopefully have everything signed shortly thereafter.
I cannot say what Mother's Day will look like at our house, but I suspect that it will be full of remorse for years to come.
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Post by greatcoastal on May 12, 2018 7:27:38 GMT -5
This mothers day will be a bit different for me. I will not be there. In the past few years with the demise and end of our marriage I was barely there anyways. I kept my distance, I kept the peace. Everything seemed to be "the fake mask". Even my children where like, " okay we will buy mom a card". That was about it.
Mom has always made it impossible to please her, and shows hardly any gratitude. Once again, that would mean 'submitting"- something she is totally against- being the least bit open, by saying "thank you, for all that you did for me today", and then giving others credit.
For decades we have had to struggle with her rejection of gifts. "flowers just die, it's a waste of money, don't buy me anymore". "candy is not healthy, it's not good for you, it just makes me fat".( Oh the hypocrisy! While she keeps bars of candy in her drawer and comes home with a McDonald ice cream every day.) "The restaurants are to busy and to crowded, we can't afford it". Clothing? "nothing fits me, I don't like any of the styles".
It seems all that she likes is computers. She has to buy that for herself, it has to be EXACTLY what she would have to order. Breakfast in bed was acceptable, that was about it. You began to feel that leaving her alone was the best gift you could give her, if only we could send her off somewhere, it's like a win, win, for everyone. We would give her gift certificates for a massage. She didn't use them.
Instead my youngest teens (daughters) are dreading going back home for "mothers day", they tell me, "all we will end up doing is cleaning up after her, Grandpa, and our older brothers." I stayed strategically silent about the entire "mothers Day weekend thing". I hope they have a good time.... but somehow I doubt it will happen. ( My ex can pretend that she had a good time and all went well, and maybe in her mind it did, things will go mostly all her way, and anything that went wrong, well.... not her concern.)
I'm going to enjoy this "mothers day" by serving myself. I'm not going to church this Sunday. I'm avoiding it. Yes... I feel "avoiding" is the best thing for me now. A time of healing. I'm going to paint the exterior of my own home on this beautiful weekend, and listen to my favorite rock and roll. I love painting to Bob Seger's "That Old time Rock and Roll".
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Post by ted on May 12, 2018 20:28:36 GMT -5
What will this weekend be like for me? I'll be dropping the kids off at their mother's for most of the day. I've happily helped the kids think through and buy her gifts. I'll probably send her an email or something, finding something to commend about her mothering.
New this year: I'm ignoring my mother. I won't be seeing her, and I won't be taking the kids to visit. It's a long story, and I'll try to tell it soon, but my parents and I have been seeing a counselor together for a few months, and it's been a complete and utter disaster.
I feel really, really obligated to acknowledge her on Mother's Day, and or make my kids acknowledge her (they haven't brought it up on their own), but I've given it serious thought and concluded that it's not something I want to do. If I did, it'd entirely be out of fear of what she'd think. There's no relationship right now, and it will hurt me to pretend there is.
I feel like an asshole. Maybe I'm being bitter and resentful, or maybe this is me protecting myself and not letting myself be controlled. It's still hard for me to distinguish the two, after a warping upbringing and an SM.
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Post by obobfla on May 12, 2018 20:57:49 GMT -5
This will be a strange Mother’s Day for me. I am taking my son to see his grandmother, who was my mother-in-law. It wil be his first Mother’s Day without his mother. She passed away in December. I’ve had my son in counseling and support groups, so he has been handling his mother’s death well.
But holidays like this bring out the hurt. I went through it Tuesday, which was supposed to be our 19th wedding anniversary. I called in sick to work and stayed in bed that day. Didn’t want to face or see anyone. Didn’t want to deal with rush hour traffic. Part of it was to protect the world from me, because I was in wounded animal/honey badger mode. What few fucks I had to give went away with my wife’s death. Don’t know what I would have done if someone cut me off in traffic.
My own mother died seven years ago, and it was my mother-in-law who helped me through that first one. Of my son, me, and her, she is the one probably hurting the most. My wife was her youngest.
I imagine there will be a lot of cathartic crying. Should have bought stock in Kleenex.
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Post by JMX on May 12, 2018 22:02:24 GMT -5
I am the most unthoughtful person in my family. My mom is hard to shop for - but she loves injectables . I will get her a consult with a facial injectable maven and we will have mother/daughter wrinkle blasters whilst holding each other’s hands. Maybe a mani/pedi too. For me? I have to work tomorrow - like most weekends. Fingers crossed for breakfast in bed - Homeland marathon, and maybe a couple of homemade cards. What I really want? A locked door, an oral job I haven’t gotten since 2009 with a 70s Bush, serious deep-dicking, cum on my face, breakfast and nothing else.
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Post by elynne on May 13, 2018 6:09:16 GMT -5
The kids used their own money to buy me some little candle holders and a little sign that reads “follow your dream”. They each made me a sign. T’s was in rainbow lettering, Happy Mother’s Day. My little one wrote me a poem! Bless her sweet heart!
H bought a chocolate bar for me. I really don’t know why I go out of my way for Father’s Day for him. Maybe this coming June I’ll give each of the girls a piece of posterboard and buy him a chocolate bar too! 🤣 He certainly couldn’t complain.
But truth be told, the signs and poem from the kids was the best part of mother’s day. I could have even done without the chocolate.
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Post by northstarmom on May 13, 2018 11:20:55 GMT -5
elynne, I think your plan for Father's Day is a good one. I don't see it as selfish. I see it as appropriate: Your h is the kids' dad.
And I agree with you: what my kids do for me has always been what touches my heart on Mother's Day. I'm their mom, not their dad's mom.
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