In making this career move, I have received mixed messages from people, though I am not including my husband in this, he has been nothing but 100% supportive, positive and encouraging, even telling me how proud he is of me, even when I am going from being a supervisor to just an assistant again. I am also not including my GOOD friends - who get me. They have also been supportive.
But from random other people I have gotten responses like "you are switching careers again??" " every job sucks, you just have to 'embrace the suck,'" " every job comes with headaches."
And from co-workers who are fellow Program Directors (we don't work closely, as we are all in our own "areas" of this spread-out region, so we rarely see each other) I haven't received ONE WORD.
That last one feels cold to me. I remember when a PD resigned last year, I personally emailed her after her group response and said I was sorry to see her go, let's stay in touch for networking and look me up if she ever wanted to do happy hour again (she was the only one I did happy hour with, none of the others ever will). Maybe I was the only one she heard from. Maybe there is a reason she and I both left this place. It's cold.
Anyway, I do have a point to this.
It doesn't matter. All those comments come from someone giving me 2.5 seconds of their attention and then they are on to other things.
I am left to live MY LIFE.
Same is true when you start to talk divorce and get comments then, too. Or you stop drinking. Or start eating healthy and say no to a piece of cake (oh, the horrors).
Know yourself. Live your Life for You.
Last Edit: May 9, 2018 8:18:30 GMT -5 by WindSister
Those who feel lovable, who love, and who experience belonging simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging. - Brene Brown
Post by greatcoastal on May 9, 2018 10:58:00 GMT -5
There's a lot of truth in what you say. Fortunately as we/I get older and wiser we also consider the way others treat our positive changes and times of venting crappy situations. It's helpful to reflect upon how someone listened and responded to our situations and what we appreciated the most, then it's up to us to put that into action the next time we need to respond to others with their positive or sad situations.
For example, my teenage daughter comes home from a long, long trip at H.S, Chorus competitions and tells me all about how the judges ranked them. The good and the bad. I listen, ask questions and try to remain interested, and show an eagerness to learn. In reality.... I know nothing about it and I've never been in a chorus, or known one thing about chorus competitions,and I don't expect to get involved in it! I'll be going to her chorus awards banquet, my mind will be in a thousand other places! But just me being there will mean the world to her!
After about 2 minutes of "chorus talk" my mind drifts, I do enjoy seeing her happiness in it, and the satisfaction she gets with it.
It reminds me of peoples responses to "the divorce" or worse " a SM". How quickly they dismiss it and move on.
I also think about when people enter my home and I show them my paintings. I tell them " this one received 1st place in the state competition out of 900 others that where chosen. It also received second place and The Peoples Choice award in the county competition". Almost instantly they say" where is that place? is that near here? I think I've been there". They have no clue at all about what is involved in starting with an idea, and getting all the way to first place in the state, no idea, nor do they care! Unless you are talking with a another seasoned artist who's been there!
I dunno who said this - "People don't think about you anywhere near as much as you think they do" -
But I reckon that is pretty accurate. They really don't.
And if you really look at yourself, you will most likely see that that applies to you as well.
Take the last time someone you know changed jobs or got divorced. When you heard the news, did it prey on your mind 24/7 ? Is it still at the forefront of your thinking right now (days, weeks, months or years down the track ?) I'm betting not.
Chances are that you have / had your own life events going on that required your attention, and these (quite rightly) take precedence over other peoples life events. Because although you can be empathetic to other peoples life events, you can do fuck all about them. Any more than other people can do anything about your life events.
There are, of course "gossips" who love to pick to pieces (behind your back usually) your life events and leap to judgement from their lofty perch up on "Mt Moral-Highground". Thing is, your job change / divorce may be todays most interesting event in their lives to gossip about, but as soon as there is an event more current, or more scandalous than yours, you become yesterdays news real quick as they move on to a newer or 'better' situation to apply their thinking to.
"People don't think about you anywhere near as much as you think they do"
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! So glad to hear you had a great day
Jan 19, 2019 16:34:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: anyone hear anything lately from mrslowmaintenance or smartkat?
Jan 24, 2019 18:06:02 GMT -5
petrushka: Just saw the forecast for Mildura at 47C -- I hope you and Ms. Enna are going to be ok Baz. That's getting dangerous.
Jan 24, 2019 20:10:00 GMT -5
lifeinwoodinville: I last heard from mrslowmaintenance about a month ago. I have been in regular contact with her for the last year and a half. I feel comfortable in saying that her situation remains unchanged. If you want to know more PM me.
Jan 25, 2019 22:36:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey baza,...I know it's hot and dry down under. N.C. is having record rainfall. I would gladly trade some rain for some sunshine....
Feb 22, 2019 20:28:35 GMT -5
tamara68: Today it's steak and blowjob day! I suppose the steak is for those who don't get a blowjob.
Mar 14, 2019 16:49:49 GMT -5
petrushka: tamara68 Laughing with tears in my eyes. And my steak is going to be semolina gruel, due to some tummy upset :-\
Mar 15, 2019 1:11:10 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: So sad to hear the news from New Zealand. Boston Strong supports Kiwi Strong!!
Mar 15, 2019 7:46:22 GMT -5
petrushka: I was gobsmacked when I heard. This is just not us. In all of 2017 we had 37 murders in the country ..... I think the echo chambers of "social media" have a lot to answer for.
Mar 15, 2019 18:45:45 GMT -5
baza: Feeling for our Brothers and Sisters across the ditch Brother petrushka .
Mar 15, 2019 19:27:50 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: petrushka, I thought I read the headline wrong (this stuff happens here, not in NZ). It is frightening the hate that is being spread; it makes my heart hurt.
Mar 15, 2019 20:46:54 GMT -5
saarinista: All of us, IMHO, should try to be civil and kind as much as possible in person and online. I actively Tweet (civilly) on political matters and am horrified by the rancor & trolling on both sides of the spectrum, which only inflames unstable people.
Mar 19, 2019 23:21:20 GMT -5