This: “but the most important thing is to try to build yourself an enriching life that isn't partner dependent and indulge your own interests and your talents.”
That is what I did the last years of my marriage:, became the kind of person that I had always wanted to be. I didn’t do this to get or keep a man. I did it for myself. Then, one day I realized I’d be even happier single than in a lonely marriage. II had no man waiting in the wings. I ended up being with a man I’d met during my self discovery journey but that was a surprise, not the reason for my divorce or internal changes.
I have been doing that for the past few years. I belong to clubs and do quite a bit of volunteer work...my husband was no part of that world.
I could be happy alone...but I would really like to find someone to share my life with. I feel like I have been alone for 24 years already. Sad...but true.
I understand. I feel like I’ve been alone for decades, and joining “meet ups” and clubs is no guarantee of meeting a compatible man, or even a man for that matter. I joined groups that interested me...bicycling group, hiking, dancing, singles, bird watching (although haven’t tried the last one yet. I joined all my groups because I enjoy the activities in their own right. I thought if I meet someone, it will be a bonus. What I find in reality is my groups consist of mainly women, and any men who attend are usually married, in a relationship, far too young, or too old, or various other reasons of non compatibility. I just don’t come across men in my age group who are available and attractive to me (and God knows if they’d be attracted to me too). It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack, although I can’t say I’m looking. I tried a dating site for 6-months, which was a waste of time. Mainly fake accounts and scams. Never had one date.
So 4-years post divorce still haven’t met anyone (I don’t count the first year because I still lived with my husband, and still felt married), but almost 3-years on my own, and no sign of a date on the horizon. I don’t dwell on it, and live life as best I can, but loneliness and lack of intimacy and deep connection are still a problem for me at times.
Post by saarinista on May 25, 2018 18:59:27 GMT -5
I will say that it's possible to meet people on Twitter or Instagram as well. I didn't realize previously that this was happening, but have in on good authority that people meet other people by private messaging through those apps about their mutual Twitter/Instagram interests and sometimes love blooms out of that.
When things get really bad, remember to keep breathing.
worksforme2: hey nancyb, how are things perkolating with the older gentleman you spoke of a while back?
Jul 28, 2018 18:25:32 GMT -5
nancyb: worksforme2: Relationship died when we had a difference in opinion regarding UFO's and extraterrestrial beings. LOL I weighed in on the nay side and he believed they walk amongst us.
Jul 30, 2018 5:51:07 GMT -5
bc: I can’t stop laughing...go ahead, micromanage and analyze that marriage and see what she will do for you.
Jul 30, 2018 8:17:58 GMT -5
Dan: I think I'd have to see how good a new girlfriend was in the sack before I crossed her off the list -- or kicked her out of bed -- for believing in UFOs. I guess that makes me... male!
Jul 30, 2018 21:25:05 GMT -5
solodriver: It's been so long for me, I might see UFOs my first time. lol
Jul 31, 2018 1:42:47 GMT -5
beachguy: nancyb: He's right. It's all in the X Files, if you care to look.
Jul 31, 2018 3:45:13 GMT -5
nancyb: Dan: It was a tough decision, he was a good lover but the craziness ended things. Been dating since but nothing serious. I paint a lot.
Jul 31, 2018 5:57:00 GMT -5
petrushka: Thing is, someone being a fruit-loop about something like UFOs usually is not confined to one area; even if it is not immediately obvious. People who are nutty about one thing can go off at a tangent any time, I found (...out the hard way).
Jul 31, 2018 7:39:29 GMT -5
greatcoastal: nancyb: Sounds like you Identified a Fucking Object for what it truly is!
Jul 31, 2018 8:25:25 GMT -5
worksforme2: nancyb,...I am going to paint my living room soon as I can decide on the color.
Jul 31, 2018 19:15:08 GMT -5
worksforme2: When it comes to UFO's we always hear about "little green men", why are there never any "little green women"?
Aug 1, 2018 6:21:15 GMT -5
solodriver: I think I recall an episode of "Lost In Space where Dr. Smith was being chased by a green woman
Aug 1, 2018 21:29:17 GMT -5