This: “but the most important thing is to try to build yourself an enriching life that isn't partner dependent and indulge your own interests and your talents.”
That is what I did the last years of my marriage:, became the kind of person that I had always wanted to be. I didn’t do this to get or keep a man. I did it for myself. Then, one day I realized I’d be even happier single than in a lonely marriage. II had no man waiting in the wings. I ended up being with a man I’d met during my self discovery journey but that was a surprise, not the reason for my divorce or internal changes.
I have been doing that for the past few years. I belong to clubs and do quite a bit of volunteer work...my husband was no part of that world.
I could be happy alone...but I would really like to find someone to share my life with. I feel like I have been alone for 24 years already. Sad...but true.
I understand. I feel like I’ve been alone for decades, and joining “meet ups” and clubs is no guarantee of meeting a compatible man, or even a man for that matter. I joined groups that interested me...bicycling group, hiking, dancing, singles, bird watching (although haven’t tried the last one yet. I joined all my groups because I enjoy the activities in their own right. I thought if I meet someone, it will be a bonus. What I find in reality is my groups consist of mainly women, and any men who attend are usually married, in a relationship, far too young, or too old, or various other reasons of non compatibility. I just don’t come across men in my age group who are available and attractive to me (and God knows if they’d be attracted to me too). It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack, although I can’t say I’m looking. I tried a dating site for 6-months, which was a waste of time. Mainly fake accounts and scams. Never had one date.
So 4-years post divorce still haven’t met anyone (I don’t count the first year because I still lived with my husband, and still felt married), but almost 3-years on my own, and no sign of a date on the horizon. I don’t dwell on it, and live life as best I can, but loneliness and lack of intimacy and deep connection are still a problem for me at times.
Post by saarinista on May 25, 2018 18:59:27 GMT -5
I will say that it's possible to meet people on Twitter or Instagram as well. I didn't realize previously that this was happening, but have in on good authority that people meet other people by private messaging through those apps about their mutual Twitter/Instagram interests and sometimes love blooms out of that.
When things get really bad, remember to keep breathing.
handy: Cutiecakes, I see you posted on another forum. How about copying that other post and place it here. It hase some very relevant information and I think this forum will be of more help.
Dec 3, 2018 17:17:52 GMT -5
worksforme2: Watching the funeral....RIP George Herbert Walker Bush
Dec 5, 2018 12:46:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: Man oh man, look at all that snow. Looks like snow cream is going to be on the menu today.
Dec 9, 2018 13:23:24 GMT -5