This: “but the most important thing is to try to build yourself an enriching life that isn't partner dependent and indulge your own interests and your talents.”
That is what I did the last years of my marriage:, became the kind of person that I had always wanted to be. I didn’t do this to get or keep a man. I did it for myself. Then, one day I realized I’d be even happier single than in a lonely marriage. II had no man waiting in the wings. I ended up being with a man I’d met during my self discovery journey but that was a surprise, not the reason for my divorce or internal changes.
I have been doing that for the past few years. I belong to clubs and do quite a bit of volunteer work...my husband was no part of that world.
I could be happy alone...but I would really like to find someone to share my life with. I feel like I have been alone for 24 years already. Sad...but true.
I understand. I feel like I’ve been alone for decades, and joining “meet ups” and clubs is no guarantee of meeting a compatible man, or even a man for that matter. I joined groups that interested me...bicycling group, hiking, dancing, singles, bird watching (although haven’t tried the last one yet. I joined all my groups because I enjoy the activities in their own right. I thought if I meet someone, it will be a bonus. What I find in reality is my groups consist of mainly women, and any men who attend are usually married, in a relationship, far too young, or too old, or various other reasons of non compatibility. I just don’t come across men in my age group who are available and attractive to me (and God knows if they’d be attracted to me too). It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack, although I can’t say I’m looking. I tried a dating site for 6-months, which was a waste of time. Mainly fake accounts and scams. Never had one date.
So 4-years post divorce still haven’t met anyone (I don’t count the first year because I still lived with my husband, and still felt married), but almost 3-years on my own, and no sign of a date on the horizon. I don’t dwell on it, and live life as best I can, but loneliness and lack of intimacy and deep connection are still a problem for me at times.
Post by saarinista on May 25, 2018 18:59:27 GMT -5
I will say that it's possible to meet people on Twitter or Instagram as well. I didn't realize previously that this was happening, but have in on good authority that people meet other people by private messaging through those apps about their mutual Twitter/Instagram interests and sometimes love blooms out of that.
When things get really bad, remember to keep breathing.
solodriver: Happy Birthday shamwow!!
Oct 11, 2018 20:35:02 GMT -5
shynjdude: Andie seems to have deleted her account here. Hope she's OK.
Oct 12, 2018 9:41:52 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, no! I hope she is okay...
Oct 12, 2018 15:31:30 GMT -5
solodriver: Maybe over what happened last weekend with the discussion board men vs. women
Oct 12, 2018 20:42:13 GMT -5
jetcity: Had to have my cat put down today. He was very old and he let us know it was time this morning. My wife went to visit her mother today So now It’s just me, the cats and dog and a couple cold beers. Now that’s a party right?
Oct 12, 2018 21:57:32 GMT -5
solodriver: So sorry jetcity, I've done that many times over the years, never gets any easier.
Oct 12, 2018 22:45:20 GMT -5
jetcity: I managed to create an avatar! The beard and mustache are kind of funky though.
Oct 12, 2018 23:30:07 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Welcome, dontstart! Feel free to post in the introduction thread; not many people see/use the shout box. Read and explore here, and hope you find us a helpful community.
Oct 14, 2018 10:41:21 GMT -5
caballotierra: Hey all, I setup a new account since my W figured out my login and was using my posts against me. Since we're going through divorce, I thought it would be safer to remove my old name. Although I feel attached to it.
Oct 15, 2018 16:12:30 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, wow. Sorry that happened to you!
Oct 15, 2018 16:36:32 GMT -5
caballotierra: Does anyone know how to delete my old account? Right now, it's still searchable, which is a problem.
Oct 16, 2018 12:12:19 GMT -5