This: “but the most important thing is to try to build yourself an enriching life that isn't partner dependent and indulge your own interests and your talents.”
That is what I did the last years of my marriage:, became the kind of person that I had always wanted to be. I didn’t do this to get or keep a man. I did it for myself. Then, one day I realized I’d be even happier single than in a lonely marriage. II had no man waiting in the wings. I ended up being with a man I’d met during my self discovery journey but that was a surprise, not the reason for my divorce or internal changes.
I have been doing that for the past few years. I belong to clubs and do quite a bit of volunteer work...my husband was no part of that world.
I could be happy alone...but I would really like to find someone to share my life with. I feel like I have been alone for 24 years already. Sad...but true.
I understand. I feel like I’ve been alone for decades, and joining “meet ups” and clubs is no guarantee of meeting a compatible man, or even a man for that matter. I joined groups that interested me...bicycling group, hiking, dancing, singles, bird watching (although haven’t tried the last one yet. I joined all my groups because I enjoy the activities in their own right. I thought if I meet someone, it will be a bonus. What I find in reality is my groups consist of mainly women, and any men who attend are usually married, in a relationship, far too young, or too old, or various other reasons of non compatibility. I just don’t come across men in my age group who are available and attractive to me (and God knows if they’d be attracted to me too). It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack, although I can’t say I’m looking. I tried a dating site for 6-months, which was a waste of time. Mainly fake accounts and scams. Never had one date.
So 4-years post divorce still haven’t met anyone (I don’t count the first year because I still lived with my husband, and still felt married), but almost 3-years on my own, and no sign of a date on the horizon. I don’t dwell on it, and live life as best I can, but loneliness and lack of intimacy and deep connection are still a problem for me at times.
Post by saarinista on May 25, 2018 18:59:27 GMT -5
I will say that it's possible to meet people on Twitter or Instagram as well. I didn't realize previously that this was happening, but have in on good authority that people meet other people by private messaging through those apps about their mutual Twitter/Instagram interests and sometimes love blooms out of that.
When things get really bad, remember to keep breathing.
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! So glad to hear you had a great day
Jan 19, 2019 16:34:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: anyone hear anything lately from mrslowmaintenance or smartkat?
Jan 24, 2019 18:06:02 GMT -5
petrushka: Just saw the forecast for Mildura at 47C -- I hope you and Ms. Enna are going to be ok Baz. That's getting dangerous.
Jan 24, 2019 20:10:00 GMT -5
lifeinwoodinville: I last heard from mrslowmaintenance about a month ago. I have been in regular contact with her for the last year and a half. I feel comfortable in saying that her situation remains unchanged. If you want to know more PM me.
Jan 25, 2019 22:36:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey baza,...I know it's hot and dry down under. N.C. is having record rainfall. I would gladly trade some rain for some sunshine....
Feb 22, 2019 20:28:35 GMT -5
tamara68: Today it's steak and blowjob day! I suppose the steak is for those who don't get a blowjob.
Mar 14, 2019 16:49:49 GMT -5
petrushka: tamara68 Laughing with tears in my eyes. And my steak is going to be semolina gruel, due to some tummy upset :-\
Mar 15, 2019 1:11:10 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: So sad to hear the news from New Zealand. Boston Strong supports Kiwi Strong!!
Mar 15, 2019 7:46:22 GMT -5
petrushka: I was gobsmacked when I heard. This is just not us. In all of 2017 we had 37 murders in the country ..... I think the echo chambers of "social media" have a lot to answer for.
Mar 15, 2019 18:45:45 GMT -5
baza: Feeling for our Brothers and Sisters across the ditch Brother petrushka .
Mar 15, 2019 19:27:50 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: petrushka, I thought I read the headline wrong (this stuff happens here, not in NZ). It is frightening the hate that is being spread; it makes my heart hurt.
Mar 15, 2019 20:46:54 GMT -5
saarinista: All of us, IMHO, should try to be civil and kind as much as possible in person and online. I actively Tweet (civilly) on political matters and am horrified by the rancor & trolling on both sides of the spectrum, which only inflames unstable people.
Mar 19, 2019 23:21:20 GMT -5
saarinista: is anyone else watching March Madness?
Mar 24, 2019 11:44:48 GMT -5