Wife filing and about to tell the kids. Scared but resolute Apr 20, 2018 6:46:24 GMT -5 h, ironhamster, and 1 more like this
Post by james on Apr 20, 2018 6:46:24 GMT -5
Thanks northstarmom and all others for thoughts and advice. My lawyer can't meet me til May 1st but she has sent me a detailed email, which contained this advice:
"In terms of moving out of the family home - you are under no obligation to do so and my advice to clients is always to stay put if they can. However, if it is utterly unbearable and you do wish to move out - then all I would advise is that you move either to stay with friends and family where no precedent is being set - or if you do rent a place of your own because obviously you will want somewhere where your children can stay - then you need to rent the type of property where you could see yourself living in the future - just to ensure that you don't set the wrong precedent!"
I've therefore explained to my wife as gently as I can that I am not going anywhere until I have met with my lawyer. To me, it's not unbearable at all- I am valuing the fact that the transition for my kids will be softened if I stick around for a bit and behave well with my wife. I think it's good for them to see that. We are not fighting or even arguing, whether it's in front of the kids or not.
I saw my counsellor/therapist this week and she agreed: "try to soften the transition for the kids if you can" is what she said. Suddenly hearing about an impending divorce without prior warning (as happened on April 14th) and then seeing me hightail it out of the house a few days later seems a bit much for three kids who until that point had pretty much thought that we were a happy united family. So life is carrying on as normal, I am ok, the kids seem to be, wife less so - she is very upset with a lot of recriminations.