Post by baza on Feb 2, 2019 17:30:39 GMT -5
It is May 12th 2016 Sister elle .
And you write this -
"First post. I have finally taken the plunge into admitting that ILIASM. We are 15+ years in. Frequency was never great - it started at every 3-4 weeks, then grew to once every 2 months, 4 months, you get the idea. We're on an 8 month drought now with no signs of it ending. He's a functional alcoholic and I think alcohol kills his libido, even when he doesn't drink every night. I think he's also depressed but when I have suggested that, he just gets mad. Enough of the backstory. Suffice to say, I've been unhappy for many, many years, finally began asking him to work on it with me about 4 years ago. We went to counseling - he quit after a few sessions, saying therapy is not for him. And we have never gone back. He's emotionally unavailable. Blah, blah, blah. Most of you can probably fill in the blanks. It's a pretty typical storyline. He needs help, we need help, but he refuses to take any responsibility. Game over, right?
So, my issue... Since I am still here while I work on my exit plan (I'm still 2 years out - if I have the guts to go through with it), how on earth do I prioritize self-care when I myself have become depressed from the years of emotional neglect and lack of intimacy and the personal attacks on me? He has made me feel about an inch tall and I have let him.
How do I get my self-worth back? How do I start to care about my life again, to feel worthy? How do I have hope again? Please don't say medication. I know I'm depressed, but I also now it's situational. There's no pill that will make my marriage healthy again. What I do need is to eat better, exercise, go places, lift my head up, walk tall, live my life. But I struggle with finding the strength to do that when I live under a black cloud. And when the marriage has robbed me of my self-esteem. Honestly, I think most women struggle with body image - imagine how it feels when your husband won't touch you. Anyone have tips? BTDT?
I'm a decent person. I deserve better than this. But I struggle to believe that some days. Help please.
Now, it's February 3rd 2019 and since May 2016 you have bravely journaled your journey for us, with all its' trials and tribulations.
It's an inspirational story Sister,
Maybe some newbie happens along soon, writes *their* story......then finds YOUR run of stories elle .
What a treasure trove that might be for them.
And you write this -
"First post. I have finally taken the plunge into admitting that ILIASM. We are 15+ years in. Frequency was never great - it started at every 3-4 weeks, then grew to once every 2 months, 4 months, you get the idea. We're on an 8 month drought now with no signs of it ending. He's a functional alcoholic and I think alcohol kills his libido, even when he doesn't drink every night. I think he's also depressed but when I have suggested that, he just gets mad. Enough of the backstory. Suffice to say, I've been unhappy for many, many years, finally began asking him to work on it with me about 4 years ago. We went to counseling - he quit after a few sessions, saying therapy is not for him. And we have never gone back. He's emotionally unavailable. Blah, blah, blah. Most of you can probably fill in the blanks. It's a pretty typical storyline. He needs help, we need help, but he refuses to take any responsibility. Game over, right?
So, my issue... Since I am still here while I work on my exit plan (I'm still 2 years out - if I have the guts to go through with it), how on earth do I prioritize self-care when I myself have become depressed from the years of emotional neglect and lack of intimacy and the personal attacks on me? He has made me feel about an inch tall and I have let him.
How do I get my self-worth back? How do I start to care about my life again, to feel worthy? How do I have hope again? Please don't say medication. I know I'm depressed, but I also now it's situational. There's no pill that will make my marriage healthy again. What I do need is to eat better, exercise, go places, lift my head up, walk tall, live my life. But I struggle with finding the strength to do that when I live under a black cloud. And when the marriage has robbed me of my self-esteem. Honestly, I think most women struggle with body image - imagine how it feels when your husband won't touch you. Anyone have tips? BTDT?
I'm a decent person. I deserve better than this. But I struggle to believe that some days. Help please.
Now, it's February 3rd 2019 and since May 2016 you have bravely journaled your journey for us, with all its' trials and tribulations.
It's an inspirational story Sister,
Maybe some newbie happens along soon, writes *their* story......then finds YOUR run of stories elle .
What a treasure trove that might be for them.
Boston Strong supports Kiwi Strong!!