And, I think that a lack of self-awareness in many of our refusers is a big part of their inability to change.
In the case of my H (and others’ refusers?) I honestly think it’s a FEAR of self-awareness that leads to resistance to change rather than true inability.
Yup. Now where going near the "reasons for the fake mask" FEAR is a big one.
Which is really sad for our refusers and for us. So many fears are like worries. They really need to be no more than "concerns". And yet so many glorious aspects of life go un-attained never enjoyed, and we fail to tap into our full potential.
When I had issues with my husband's exes, it wasn't until I finally accepted I had the issues, felt the jealousy. But then instead of get pissed off at myself or damn myself for feeling such human emotions, I extended compassion to myself. There was a REASON I felt the way I did. I saw it. I accepted it. I was really able to move past it from that point.
What you RESIST PERSISTS.
It's true. Yet all around the world we RESIST thinking that will solve issues... it never freaking does. Banning drugs is "resisting" them... didn't work. I could go on, won't.
I just agree.
Those who feel lovable, who love, and who experience belonging simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging. - Brene Brown
solodriver: Happy Birthday shamwow!!
Oct 11, 2018 20:35:02 GMT -5
shynjdude: Andie seems to have deleted her account here. Hope she's OK.
Oct 12, 2018 9:41:52 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, no! I hope she is okay...
Oct 12, 2018 15:31:30 GMT -5
solodriver: Maybe over what happened last weekend with the discussion board men vs. women
Oct 12, 2018 20:42:13 GMT -5
jetcity: Had to have my cat put down today. He was very old and he let us know it was time this morning. My wife went to visit her mother today So now It’s just me, the cats and dog and a couple cold beers. Now that’s a party right?
Oct 12, 2018 21:57:32 GMT -5
solodriver: So sorry jetcity, I've done that many times over the years, never gets any easier.
Oct 12, 2018 22:45:20 GMT -5
jetcity: I managed to create an avatar! The beard and mustache are kind of funky though.
Oct 12, 2018 23:30:07 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Welcome, dontstart! Feel free to post in the introduction thread; not many people see/use the shout box. Read and explore here, and hope you find us a helpful community.
Oct 14, 2018 10:41:21 GMT -5
caballotierra: Hey all, I setup a new account since my W figured out my login and was using my posts against me. Since we're going through divorce, I thought it would be safer to remove my old name. Although I feel attached to it.
Oct 15, 2018 16:12:30 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, wow. Sorry that happened to you!
Oct 15, 2018 16:36:32 GMT -5
caballotierra: Does anyone know how to delete my old account? Right now, it's still searchable, which is a problem.
Oct 16, 2018 12:12:19 GMT -5