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Post by tiredofbeinglonely on Feb 15, 2018 12:43:26 GMT -5
It was so hard to stand in the card aisle...trying to find one that fits out situation. I was looking for "You've ignored all of my needs through the years, we live like room mates, soon it will be over". Surprisingly, hallmark doesn't make a card like that
He gave me a card that talked about how lucky he is to have found me...agreed, no one else would have been dumb enough to stay. My self esteem has taken a beating through the years. I honestly thought it was me...until a friend made me look in the mirror and admit there was nothing wrong with me.
I just want to be loved, admired, adored...wanted. It feels so basic, yet so impossible.
Sorry to go on...self pity. I would love one Valentine's Day to actually be happy for me.
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Post by saarinista on Feb 15, 2018 15:10:19 GMT -5
I know what you mean about the difficulty of finding a Valentine's Day card appropriate to a sexless marriage . This year, mercifully, I had a a valid excuse for not getting out to get one because I've had a bad cold for days. in past years, I spent hours searching for cards that said, in essence, "Thank you for everything; you're a good and decent man and I love you.... like a brother. I want only the best for you. Hugs, your legal wife. Not exactly an easy message to find on the Hallmark rack.
Here's a thought: if we ever have trouble paying to keep this forum online (I don't even know, does it cost cost something? How do we pay bills?) maybe we could devise a line of Valentine, birthday and anniversary cards appropriate for sexless marriage spouses. Perhaps we could put some of the winning haikus on said cards . THAT would be a warm fuzzy😁
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Post by h on Feb 15, 2018 15:57:15 GMT -5
I know what you mean about the difficulty of finding a Valentine's Day card appropriate to a sexless marriage . This year, mercifully, I had a a valid excuse for not getting out to get one because I've had a bad cold for days. in past years, I spent hours searching for cards that said, in essence, "Thank you for everything; you're a good and decent man and I love you.... like a brother. I want only the best for you. Hugs, your legal wife. Not exactly an easy message to find on the Hallmark rack.
Here's a thought: if we ever have trouble paying to keep this forum online (I don't even know, does it cost cost something? How do we pay bills?) maybe we could devise a line of Valentine, birthday and anniversary cards appropriate for sexless marriage spouses. Perhaps we could put some of the winning haikus on said cards . THAT would be a warm fuzzy😁
Donations and ads keep it up for now, but I like the idea of anti-greeting cards. Maybe our Poet Laureate choosinghappy could start a business out of it. It could be called Kramllah. (Backwards...)😜😁
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Post by tiredofbeinglonely on Feb 15, 2018 16:08:24 GMT -5
Love the idea of a card line! It sure would save me a lot of time each holiday!
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Post by choosinghappy on Feb 15, 2018 16:58:49 GMT -5
I took the easy way out this V-Day and got a card from the kid to Daddy and signed my name to it too. Done.
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Post by baza on Feb 15, 2018 17:27:48 GMT -5
At 14 February 2017 there were X number of ILIASM members wrestling with the Valentines day dilemma.
Quite a few, by February 14 2018 are no longer wrestling with that dilemma.
By 14 February 2019 there will be further ILIASM members no longer wrestling that dilemma.
I wish our collective "crystal ball" could tell us "who" is going to have their ILIASM shithole resolved by then. It might be *you*. It might not.
The clock keeps running either way.
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Post by shamwow on Feb 15, 2018 20:56:17 GMT -5
I know what you mean about the difficulty of finding a Valentine's Day card appropriate to a sexless marriage . This year, mercifully, I had a a valid excuse for not getting out to get one because I've had a bad cold for days. in past years, I spent hours searching for cards that said, in essence, "Thank you for everything; you're a good and decent man and I love you.... like a brother. I want only the best for you. Hugs, your legal wife. Not exactly an easy message to find on the Hallmark rack.
Here's a thought: if we ever have trouble paying to keep this forum online (I don't even know, does it cost cost something? How do we pay bills?) maybe we could devise a line of Valentine, birthday and anniversary cards appropriate for sexless marriage spouses. Perhaps we could put some of the winning haikus on said cards . THAT would be a warm fuzzy😁
I chip in about 6 bucks a month. Money well spent IMHO
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Post by obobfla on Feb 15, 2018 21:42:53 GMT -5
To those who want to contribute, there is a thread: iliasm.org/thread/349/update-keeping-iliasm-ad-free. As to Valentine Day cards, I still got my wife a nice card, although not as mushy as she would like. Since she really liked cats, I could never go wrong as long as I found a card with a cat on it.
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Post by shamwow on Feb 16, 2018 10:11:28 GMT -5
To those who want to contribute, there is a thread: iliasm.org/thread/349/update-keeping-iliasm-ad-free. As to Valentine Day cards, I still got my wife a nice card, although not as mushy as she would like. Since she really liked cats, I could never go wrong as long as I found a card with a cat on it. Thanks for the link. I was too lazy to dig it up. You can do a one time contribution or monthly. As soon as I got out and got my own credit cards this was one of the first things I bought.
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Post by Lithium92 on Feb 16, 2018 12:58:17 GMT -5
Is the Billy Bragg quote intentional?
I solved the Valentine's Day quandary by completely ignoring it. My wife has flat refused to even do a phone reminder for hugs because 'it's not romantic', so I was overwhelmed by apathy when it came to getting a Valentine's card. She got me something though: a snack size bag of those little biscuits restaurants give away with coffee, which happened to be shaped like hearts. My overwhelm knows no bounds.
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Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2018 16:00:23 GMT -5
It was so hard to stand in the card aisle...trying to find one that fits out situation. I was looking for "You've ignored all of my needs through the years, we live like room mates, soon it will be over". Surprisingly, hallmark doesn't make a card like that He gave me a card that talked about how lucky he is to have found me...agreed, no one else would have been dumb enough to stay. My self esteem has taken a beating through the years. I honestly thought it was me...until a friend made me look in the mirror and admit there was nothing wrong with me. I just want to be loved, admired, adored...wanted. It feels so basic, yet so impossible. Sorry to go on...self pity. I would love one Valentine's Day to actually be happy for me. "So basic, yet so impossible." I'm so sorry and I understand completely how you feel. The self-esteem, the "what am I doing wrong to not be loved", ad infinitum. The landmark dates go by and, even after 28 years, they still hurt. I don't say anything anymore and haven't for years but I still think it.
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Post by Dan on Feb 17, 2018 20:48:22 GMT -5
... She got me something though: a snack size bag of those little biscuits restaurants give away with coffee, which happened to be shaped like hearts. My overwhelm knows no bounds. I assume you mean "My overwhelm knows no lower bounds."
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Post by Lithium92 on Feb 18, 2018 3:08:04 GMT -5
... She got me something though: a snack size bag of those little biscuits restaurants give away with coffee, which happened to be shaped like hearts. My overwhelm knows no bounds. I assume you mean "My overwhelm knows no lower bounds." I'm British. I default to sarcasm.
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Post by csl on Feb 18, 2018 9:12:26 GMT -5
I assume you mean "My overwhelm knows no lower bounds." I'm British. I default to sarcasm. Got that from "biscuit". Down here in the South, a biscuit has either ham or sausage in it, and so wouldn't be given out by hotels in snack bags.
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