This was spot on until after the husband had been given an opportunity to speak. So basically she says I’ve consciously stopped fucking my husband, he says that is the road to disaster, the husband says it makes him feel like shit and then the final part is him giving all those husbands out there a lesson in how to treat your woman?? WTF! Rewind to the bit where he says when you constantly get rejected, sex, instead of being the 10% cherry on the cake becomes 90% of the relationship (because the lack of it consumes you). Then he says this causes the nit picking. This is where an ILIASM becomes an ILIAS (shithole) M. It was spot on but I think it’s been edited badly.
Or IDLIASMA
(I don't live in a sexless marriage anymore)
I wonder if she informed him that after she became a mom he would become a monk.
Methinks she most certainly did not. Phil is right that she will likely experience the joys of experiencing life as a single mom.
Think of all the folks here who divorce while posting on an anonymous forum. We have all waved red flags at our refuses.
There is no bigger red flag than publicly going on national TV flanked by Dr Phil and Oprah, for the love of God. The lady there is as clueless as the deer before the 18 wheeler turns it into buzzard food.
On the plus side when the guy finally finds someone who cares about him all he has to do is play the clip. No further story needed.
Agreed. And yet when she becomes the buzzard food (metaphorically speaking) she will cry tears of sorrow and self pity and the world will hate the cheating arsehole who did this to her. This is the way it works.
I wonder if she informed him that after she became a mom he would become a monk.
Methinks she most certainly did not. Phil is right that she will likely experience the joys of experiencing life as a single mom.
Think of all the folks here who divorce while posting on an anonymous forum. We have all waved red flags at our refuses.
There is no bigger red flag than publicly going on national TV flanked by Dr Phil and Oprah, for the love of God. The lady there is as clueless as the deer before the 18 wheeler turns it into buzzard food.
On the plus side when the guy finally finds someone who cares about him all he has to do is play the clip. No further story needed.
Agreed. And yet when she becomes the buzzard food (metaphorically speaking) she will cry tears of sorrow and self pity and the world will hate the cheating arsehole who did this to her. This is the way it works.
And I forgot to mention. Whilst little miss I don’t want sex now I’m a mum is continuously refusing her husband, she’ll be jerking herself off when he’s out the house picking them up a Chinese take away. Great wife all round!
Agreed. And yet when she becomes the buzzard food (metaphorically speaking) she will cry tears of sorrow and self pity and the world will hate the cheating arsehole who did this to her. This is the way it works.
And I forgot to mention. Whilst little miss I don’t want sex now I’m a mum is continuously refusing her husband, she’ll be jerking herself off when he’s out the house picking them up a Chinese take away. Great wife all round!
Oh I'd forgotten about the joy of her hundreds of kindle romance novels and occasionally coming home to the sex toys left out...ah, memories...
Sham's Law #1: Everything in life is simple. First you figure out what you want. Second, you figure out how to get it. Third you do it. The first step, unfortunately happens to be the hardest.
Who knows. Maybe she shut all that off or was not interested in the first place.
My W explained to my how difficult she had it, that once I was gone at work so much that she had masturbated. Um. Right. Once?! Her grand total is my daily average, and there are no toys for her to hide. Some women really are low libido.
Who knows. Maybe she shut all that off or was not interested in the first place.
My W explained to my how difficult she had it, that once I was gone at work so much that she had masturbated. Um. Right. Once?! Her grand total is my daily average, and there are no toys for her to hide. Some women really are low libido.
Interesting how she was able to have sex in order to achieve the children!
Who knows. Maybe she shut all that off or was not interested in the first place.
My W explained to my how difficult she had it, that once I was gone at work so much that she had masturbated. Um. Right. Once?! Her grand total is my daily average, and there are no toys for her to hide. Some women really are low libido.
Interesting how she was able to have sex in order to achieve the children!
Interesting how she was able to have sex in order to achieve the children!
Isn't that greysexual?
I am not sure what the term would be for someone that really likes sex when they need to marry a wallet or lock that wallet into the marriage by producing kids, but otherwise have no real interest.
Last Edit: Jan 5, 2018 7:52:52 GMT -5 by ironhamster
I am not sure what the term would be for someone that really likes sex when they need to marry a wallet or lock that wallet into the marriage by producing kids, but otherwise have no real interest.
I roughly remember when beachguy brought it up on here, and I thought," that describes my W and our situation". She (my W) is greysexual because she did enjoy sex, to a point. She does and can get an orgasm. She could initiate sex, even a quicky. All during the first few years of marriage and procreation.
You then start to question if they are a closet gay or lesbian, who "did what they had to do" to procreate. There are so many other things you can observe in their every day interactions with others. Especially their level of not showing physical or emotional intimacy,trust, and respect for the children and others. There is some comfort in that. Kind of a "phew....it's not all my fault, it's not JUST ME!"
Wouldn't it be nice (a relief) to NOT be judging someone -always evaluating,question there motives- and just be able to TRUST them? (the SM removes the trust)
After the last child was born began the once a year sex,and adopting more children. When confronted during counseling her responses where, " I don't see the need for it. It's no big deal. It's not important to me. It really doesn't matter". (all about herself)
Kind of like the "DR. Phil Mom" only you can forget the 20 yrs later when the kids leave the nest.
When I confronted my W personally about having sex once a week after 14 yrs of the SM, her response was, "I don't think I could EVER be ready for that". This reminds me off "the empty Coke machine" analogy.
Someone who married your wallet? A couple of phrases come to mind. Love bombing, bait and switch, greed, zero empathy, low self esteem, but mostly materialism.
Money is a huge factor in the reasons for divorce. I have much empathy for you. My STBX is a money hoarder, not a big spender, not a materialistic person. Money gives her control and worth.
Post by ironhamster on Jan 5, 2018 10:07:12 GMT -5
I wish mine was a hoarder. I have no idea where it goes. My kids are taking my side for a number of reasons. Right now, I think she is inadvertently poisoning their minds about religion, by spending hours at a time doing bible studies on the couch in the front room. Odd behavior from a woman that has never cut a check for a tithe, and, as far as I know, never put more than a single dollar in the collection tray.
Post by ironhamster on Jan 5, 2018 13:08:24 GMT -5
There was a video comparing trying to get your partner who is not interested in sex to have sex with a Coke machine that you keep putting money into but it is all out of Coke. Eventually you realizing you are wasting your time putting money into the machine and pressing buttons.
And I forgot to mention. Whilst little miss I don’t want sex now I’m a mum is continuously refusing her husband, she’ll be jerking herself off when he’s out the house picking them up a Chinese take away. Great wife all round!
Oh I'd forgotten about the joy of her hundreds of kindle romance novels and occasionally coming home to the sex toys left out...ah, memories...
But for some reason, this will never count as infidelity! It is in my option but we aren’t allowed to say it is.
I paraphrase the poet Chris Rock when asked how to keep a relationship together. To which he replied "keep fuckin"
Easy for Chris Rock to say. After all, I think he was f*cking Pamela Anderson at the time.
I've given my GP (family doctor) the short version of our marital woes, including how low sex begets lower sex. His advice was basically the same: to get back in the groove, you just have to do it.
OK, OK: this doesn't cover the sexless marriage due to low-or-no libido partner, but in the case of a flagging sexual relationship between two healthy and nominally interested people, "just do it" seems to be the going wisdom.
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mirrororchid: New Episode, "For Better, For Worse", on ILIASM's unofficial podcast: RefusedPodcast.com
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