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Post by h on Jan 5, 2018 8:15:38 GMT -5
My divorce was an asset split one rather than debt split one, but I can tell you that when we were married my ex wife spent more than I earned (especially in the later years). Now that we are divorced I find myself amazed that even paying all my own expenses and essentially her mortgage, utilities, and much of her food bill, I am still actually ahead every month. And that's with me purchasing two airline tickets per month to visit my lady. I have no idea how she spent all that money. If you are not the hemorrhage on the finances, you may be amazed at how much flexibility you have post-divorce, especially since a bankruptcy will take one of the biggest bills (interest on debt) off the table for you. I am happy to see this. I have been wondering how my situation would pan out. Last year, not only did every dollar I managed to bring home get spent, but the $14k buffer I had in her savings account vaporized also. I am so disgusted I do not even want to investigate. She claims "wedding expenses," which makes no sense to me since we set a budget of $10k and much of that, I thought, was cash flowed out of my income. I am thankful that I set aside and protected my pre-marriage assets. Having them separate keeps her from spending what she cannot see. Whatever is causing the hemorrhage, I do not know, but the thought of stopping the blood flow is appealing. Definitely worth thinking about. My situation isn't quite that extreme but I know for a fact that my W spends more than she makes on her income. It hasn't been a huge issue but one more negative to tip the scales in that direction. Alone, I could be debt free in under 5 years except for the mortgage. With her, I can't even pay down a credit card because every time I knock it down a little bit, she gets bored and wants to go out for dinner and a movie and maxes it back out again.
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Post by shamwow on Jan 5, 2018 10:12:35 GMT -5
My divorce was an asset split one rather than debt split one, but I can tell you that when we were married my ex wife spent more than I earned (especially in the later years). Now that we are divorced I find myself amazed that even paying all my own expenses and essentially her mortgage, utilities, and much of her food bill, I am still actually ahead every month. And that's with me purchasing two airline tickets per month to visit my lady. I have no idea how she spent all that money. If you are not the hemorrhage on the finances, you may be amazed at how much flexibility you have post-divorce, especially since a bankruptcy will take one of the biggest bills (interest on debt) off the table for you. I am happy to see this. I have been wondering how my situation would pan out. Last year, not only did every dollar I managed to bring home get spent, but the $14k buffer I had in her savings account vaporized also. I am so disgusted I do not even want to investigate. She claims "wedding expenses," which makes no sense to me since we set a budget of $10k and much of that, I thought, was cash flowed out of my income. I am thankful that I set aside and protected my pre-marriage assets. Having them separate keeps her from spending what she cannot see. Whatever is causing the hemorrhage, I do not know, but the thought of stopping the blood flow is appealing. In my case it was many things. The most visible was when we moved during the divorce seeing purple heart come with van truck after truck picking up furniture, decorations, and clothes seemingly without end. Many of which still had tags attached. Then there were trips and vacations. During the last few years there were so many. I was even invited on about a third of them. On my side of the ledger. My drinking to deal with the situation let my work slip and as a result I had some clients (with some justification) refuse to pay me. As a result, we had a home equity loan that had been completely paid off that in the span of a couple short years got maxxed to the 100k limit. Fortunately I'd saved for years on end before that and the divorce occurred before that particular hole dug us into negative territory. Today? I'm sober, happy, able to take care of my obligations, and my nest egg is slowly rebuilding itself despite paying her mortgage, utilities, and large chunk of groceries in child support. My ex? Her salary is 1/4 of mine (prioritized easy hours and close to home over salary). She got a check for $233k cash (and another 70k in retirement) in the divorce settlement. Bought a brand new house. Didn't take a stick of furniture (had to have everything new). Just got a new apple watch. Taking the kids to Florida (Disney) over MLK weekend. Has maids come in every other week to clean her house. Etc etc etc... Yeah, I think I found the leak... I don't really know when, in 4 1/2 years, the 40 percent of her income (child support) vanishes overnight. But as long as she makes it that far and the kids are in a safe and secure environment, I honestly don't care. If you can't make it sitting on a quarter million in cash then there is nothing I could have done anyway except go down with the ship. My only concern is what she is teaching the kids. Each teen has a debut card where she just dumps cash into when it runs empty. My teaching of having them do work around the house to earn money kind of falls on deaf ears. And honestly I can't blame them. I still haven't thought of a way to fix that particular issue.
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