|
Post by brian on Dec 31, 2017 4:24:52 GMT -5
Sitting here at the computer at 4:14am as roomie got mad at me for running my hand down her back and slightly under the waistband of her pajamas during a moment of sleepy forgetfulness of who I was in bed with. Just more reinforcement that we have no business being married.
And I can hear you all saying it... legal counsel. And yep... that is going to happen this January.
|
|
|
Post by M2G on Dec 31, 2017 5:51:58 GMT -5
Sitting here at the computer at 4:14am as roomie got mad at me for running my hand down her back and slightly under the waistband of her pajamas during a moment of sleepy forgetfulness of who I was in bed with. Just more reinforcement that we have no business being married. And I can hear you all saying it... legal counsel. And yep... that is going to happen this January. Hope you get better news than I did. I'm kinda stuck at this point less I do something drastic like bankruptcy - but knowledge is power and in this case and leaving would be an act of stupid at this point. Good luck brian and happy New Year!
|
|
|
Post by brian on Dec 31, 2017 6:00:09 GMT -5
M2G, we both make a good living, and she makes a good bit more than me. I don't want any of her money, and I don't think there will be any alimony involved in our deal. Child support, yes... for the two that are not yet 18. The biggest thing, I think, is the house, and I'm sure we can come to terms with that.
|
|
|
Post by M2G on Dec 31, 2017 6:20:54 GMT -5
Good news for you - mine though hasn't been in the workplace since 95 - her choice, I was not consulted (and I of course can't make anybody do anything so...)
|
|
|
Post by takestwototango on Dec 31, 2017 9:31:00 GMT -5
Sitting here at the computer at 4:14am as roomie got mad at me for running my hand down her back and slightly under the waistband of her pajamas during a moment of sleepy forgetfulness of who I was in bed with. Just more reinforcement that we have no business being married. And I can hear you all saying it... legal counsel. And yep... that is going to happen this January. Oh, Lord, I wish my h would do that to me. I would probably come unglued - not the way your roomie did, though, lol.
|
|
|
Post by M2G on Dec 31, 2017 9:55:22 GMT -5
Sitting here at the computer at 4:14am as roomie got mad at me for running my hand down her back and slightly under the waistband of her pajamas during a moment of sleepy forgetfulness of who I was in bed with. Just more reinforcement that we have no business being married. And I can hear you all saying it... legal counsel. And yep... that is going to happen this January. Oh, Lord, I wish my h would do that to me. I would probably come unglued - not the way your roomie did, though, lol. Ya know, if my roomie just touched me anywhere I'd probably have to change clothes. <sigh> Hello 2018!
|
|
|
Post by brian on Jan 1, 2018 8:36:47 GMT -5
Sitting here at the computer at 4:14am as roomie got mad at me for running my hand down her back and slightly under the waistband of her pajamas during a moment of sleepy forgetfulness of who I was in bed with. Just more reinforcement that we have no business being married. And I can hear you all saying it... legal counsel. And yep... that is going to happen this January. Oh, Lord, I wish my h would do that to me. I would probably come unglued - not the way your roomie did, though, lol. I wish I could do that to someone who would come unglued - in the way that you alluded.
|
|
|
Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 1, 2018 18:58:23 GMT -5
Brian don't assume anything about your deal and how a divorce will pan out for you until you have seen a lawyer. If your wife makes more than you why do you assume that you will recieve no ailomony? Has this been verified by a Divorce Lawyer?
|
|
|
Post by brian on Jan 2, 2018 5:46:30 GMT -5
Brian don't assume anything about your deal and how a divorce will pan out for you until you have seen a lawyer. If your wife makes more than you why do you assume that you will recieve no ailomony? Has this been verified by a Divorce Lawyer? it's not that I am assuming that I won't, it's that I don't WANT any. She can keep her money. I make a good enough living that I will be just fine without any from her. A divorce isn't about taking whatever I can. It's about moving on. Splitting the current assets and children issues are probably the only areas of contention.
|
|
|
Post by M2G on Jan 2, 2018 6:30:41 GMT -5
Brian don't assume anything about your deal and how a divorce will pan out for you until you have seen a lawyer. If your wife makes more than you why do you assume that you will recieve no ailomony? Has this been verified by a Divorce Lawyer? it's not that I am assuming that I won't, it's that I don't WANT any. She can keep her money. I make a good enough living that I will be just fine without any from her. A divorce isn't about taking whatever I can. It's about moving on. Splitting the current assets and children issues are probably the only areas of contention. Hopefully your W will feel the same way. It all depends on her reaction to the divorce. Will it be relief on her part too, or will it trigger a venomous response and a mindset fixed on making you as miserable as possible? I don't think is very easy to predict what the response will be, to what may be seen as the ultimate rejection. Lawyer first, seems very good advice and to use a hackneyed phrase: plan for the worst and hope for the best.
|
|
|
Post by DryCreek on Jan 2, 2018 9:42:33 GMT -5
it's not that I am assuming that I won't, it's that I don't WANT any. Speaking coldly, there will come a point where things are negotiated; you'll need something she values to give in trade. Don't be too quick to give away the farm.
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on Jan 3, 2018 14:32:28 GMT -5
Sitting here at the computer at 4:14am as roomie got mad at me for running my hand down her back and slightly under the waistband of her pajamas during a moment of sleepy forgetfulness of who I was in bed with. Just more reinforcement that we have no business being married. And I can hear you all saying it... legal counsel. And yep... that is going to happen this January. Hope you get better news than I did. I'm kinda stuck at this point less I do something drastic like bankruptcy - but knowledge is power and in this case and leaving would be an act of stupid at this point. Good luck brian and happy New Year! If your option right now is bankruptcy, how does waiting improve that? Generally in that kind of situation, one partner or the other (or both) got there through spending (barring medical issues). Sticking around just digs the hole deeper. Just sayin'
|
|
|
Post by M2G on Jan 3, 2018 20:42:55 GMT -5
Good point shamwow I will think on that.
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on Jan 4, 2018 14:58:38 GMT -5
Good point shamwow I will think on that. My divorce was an asset split one rather than debt split one, but I can tell you that when we were married my ex wife spent more than I earned (especially in the later years). Now that we are divorced I find myself amazed that even paying all my own expenses and essentially her mortgage, utilities, and much of her food bill, I am still actually ahead every month. And that's with me purchasing two airline tickets per month to visit my lady. I have no idea how she spent all that money. If you are not the hemorrhage on the finances, you may be amazed at how much flexibility you have post-divorce, especially since a bankruptcy will take one of the biggest bills (interest on debt) off the table for you.
|
|
|
Post by ironhamster on Jan 5, 2018 7:43:19 GMT -5
Good point shamwow I will think on that. My divorce was an asset split one rather than debt split one, but I can tell you that when we were married my ex wife spent more than I earned (especially in the later years). Now that we are divorced I find myself amazed that even paying all my own expenses and essentially her mortgage, utilities, and much of her food bill, I am still actually ahead every month. And that's with me purchasing two airline tickets per month to visit my lady. I have no idea how she spent all that money. If you are not the hemorrhage on the finances, you may be amazed at how much flexibility you have post-divorce, especially since a bankruptcy will take one of the biggest bills (interest on debt) off the table for you. I am happy to see this. I have been wondering how my situation would pan out. Last year, not only did every dollar I managed to bring home get spent, but the $14k buffer I had in her savings account vaporized also. I am so disgusted I do not even want to investigate. She claims "wedding expenses," which makes no sense to me since we set a budget of $10k and much of that, I thought, was cash flowed out of my income. I am thankful that I set aside and protected my pre-marriage assets. Having them separate keeps her from spending what she cannot see. Whatever is causing the hemorrhage, I do not know, but the thought of stopping the blood flow is appealing.
|
|