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Post by northstarmom on Dec 13, 2017 10:01:11 GMT -5
Seeing a lawyer is important.
Meanwhile, for all she knows, her husband might not want any custody.
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Touch
Dec 13, 2017 13:16:30 GMT -5
Post by greatcoastal on Dec 13, 2017 13:16:30 GMT -5
I know other woman who ,once the divorce began the "devoted father" was no where to be found. Countless stories of the STBX not giving a damn about the children. Divorce has a way of peeling back the onion, dropping the mask.
For example: Daddy claims he wants the kids over his place so he can fix them a big breakfast in the morning and take them fun places. Mom picks the kids up the next day to find out, they didn't go anywhere, and there wasn't any food in the house for them to eat. By the way this man thinks he is going to marry his gay lover before getting divorced! All things that will "hopefully" guarantee her full custody.
It doesn't have to be 50/50. Nor does it have to remain that way until the kids are 18. ( court cases vary where kids -especially 13 yrs. old and older- have a say in who they want to live with and why) If you are already working days and he is working nights your practically already separated and -I'm assuming- carrying 98% of the family duties already? Are you just carrying the extra weight of raising another adult child?
Think of the example that sets? Compared to a man who respects you desires you and treats you equally and gives you hope.
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jetcity
Junior Member
Searching for an answer
Posts: 62
Age Range: 51-55
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Touch
Dec 13, 2017 14:06:34 GMT -5
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Post by jetcity on Dec 13, 2017 14:06:34 GMT -5
I’m guessing the reason for the 7 years is that’s when the kids turn 18. Then they can make their own decision instead of a court mandate. I think you should continue what you’re doing until that time. I have one hypothetical question though, and I would like some opinions on this. When you make and execute the “exit plan”, are you going to be fair with your partner? Remember you have had a long term relationship and you have children together. Do you take as much as you can get or do you make an equitable split?
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Touch
Dec 13, 2017 14:39:55 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by northstarmom on Dec 13, 2017 14:39:55 GMT -5
I think that I’m at least some places, kids can decide when they are 16 or so. In some states, kids have a say at age 12. Talk to a lawyer.
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Post by idgaf96 on Dec 13, 2017 23:52:34 GMT -5
I’m guessing the reason for the 7 years is that’s when the kids turn 18. Then they can make their own decision instead of a court mandate. I think you should continue what you’re doing until that time. I have one hypothetical question though, and I would like some opinions on this. When you make and execute the “exit plan”, are you going to be fair with your partner? Remember you have had a long term relationship and you have children together. Do you take as much as you can get or do you make an equitable split? I will absolutely make it fair. I am busting my ass so that when I do leave him we are both in the best possible financial situation. I have no intention of taking what I can get or draining bank accounts. One thing he has always done was work and take care of us financially.
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Post by idgaf96 on Dec 13, 2017 23:53:30 GMT -5
I think that I’m at least some places, kids can decide when they are 16 or so. In some states, kids have a say at age 12. Talk to a lawyer. The whole point of me staying is so they don't have to decide. I don't want to burden them with those kinds of decisions
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Post by idgaf96 on Dec 13, 2017 23:57:23 GMT -5
Seeing a lawyer is important. Meanwhile, for all she knows, her husband might not want any custody. Wouldn't him not wanting them and turning into a flake of a father be the saddest thing possible..... I don't want MY kids to have to go threw that.
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