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Post by DryCreek on Dec 2, 2017 14:53:38 GMT -5
M2G, Thoughts on how to handle it, not whether it's a good idea or not - you gotta make that call... Bridge your service time (I.e., reinstate your original hire date), in case it ever becomes relevant in the future (seniority, retirement benefits, etc.). This is very common, and almost automatic in many companies. Consider asking for a guaranteed minimum on the commission for an initial period (e.g., 6 months) while you work to build your pipeline. This is also normal. Have an honest conversation with your current boss instead of dropping a bomb on him. Be prepared to answer why you're jumping at the opportunity - is it just the money, or...? Make sure he understands the opportunity came to you; you didn't go looking. If he's a reasonable guy he'll understand the need to take career/income opportunities and won't burn a bridge even though it will leave him in a hard spot after a short time. Don't play it like you're trying to squeeze him for more money, but don't close the door in case he wants to offer it. Good luck!
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Post by brian on Dec 2, 2017 17:31:26 GMT -5
M2G, What DryCreek said... it's just business, and you have to take care of yourself and your family. Your friend and current boss should be able to understand this even though it will sting. And I have to say, wtf is up with your wife being so upset as what this will do to HER schedule? What about the opportunity for you, your career, and the future? Yet all she cares about is what it does for/to her?
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Post by M2G on Dec 3, 2017 5:46:15 GMT -5
Thanks again everyone - I really appreciate the input. As far as my W's schedule it can be a hard adjustment; basically changing from not fucking me during the week, and not fucking me every other week.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 3, 2017 6:39:35 GMT -5
Your W does have every right to communicate her needs and concerns about the "family" schedule, what changes she will have to make -if any-and how it will affect her. We can all agree on that, however, how she handles it, tells everything!!
Here comes the DARVO, manipulative control, and golden uterus syndrome. Hell is coming to breakfast! Get ready for a one way street paved with double standards! Get out the heavy duty Teflon suit for this one.
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Post by M2G on Dec 3, 2017 6:55:42 GMT -5
TY but probably won't be that dire - I've already had her vehicle over for fixes and PM, and today I'm going to do the same with our boiler (which is older then me). She usually likes her time alone also.
What would be dire: watching the credit card debt climb lately over various veterinary & household emergencies and not having the resources to pay it down very rapidly.
"Hell is coming to breakfast!" I love that phrase: The Outlaw Joey Wales.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 3, 2017 7:21:09 GMT -5
"Are you going to pull those pistols or whistle "Dixie" boy?"
Dying ain't much of a livin' boy."
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Post by M2G on Dec 3, 2017 7:26:33 GMT -5
Heh - reminds me that my favorite pastime on the road is gaming (instead of bars). MMO - Dungeons & Dragons Online (my W hates it). I have a max level druid and she is just nasty as hell and almost unstoppable. When with my online group of friends, and I have to go after an enemy they used to say: "Oh boy, hell is coming to breakfast!!" I miss those people. Current job just does not allow the time. Very much looking forward to re-connecting. Yes, I am a total geek!
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Post by h on Dec 3, 2017 7:31:13 GMT -5
Heh - reminds me that my favorite pastime on the road is gaming (instead of bars). MMO - Dungeons & Dragons Online (my W hates it). I have a max level druid and she is just nasty as hell and almost unstoppable. When with my online group of friends, and I have to go after an enemy they used to say: "Oh boy, hell is coming to breakfast!!" I miss those people. Current job just does not allow the time. Very much looking forward to re-connecting. Yes, I am a total geek! Fly that geek flag proudly! I'm one too. I never got into the online gaming because of cost and inconsistent internet access through frequent moving during and after college. I'm a tabletop gamer in Warhammer and Lord of the Rings.
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Post by ironhamster on Dec 3, 2017 23:12:02 GMT -5
Heh - reminds me that my favorite pastime on the road is gaming (instead of bars). MMO - Dungeons & Dragons Online (my W hates it). I have a max level druid and she is just nasty as hell and almost unstoppable. When with my online group of friends, and I have to go after an enemy they used to say: "Oh boy, hell is coming to breakfast!!" I miss those people. Current job just does not allow the time. Very much looking forward to re-connecting. Yes, I am a total geek! Fly that geek flag proudly! I'm one too. I never got into the online gaming because of cost and inconsistent internet access through frequent moving during and after college. I'm a tabletop gamer in Warhammer and Lord of the Rings. Enjoy your hobbies. I can't do gaming like that. My OCD will kick in and I'll be sucked down the drain. Early in my marriage, my wife referred to herself as a Doom widow. There was some truth that when I was not busy at work I was losing myself hooking up over a modem to a friend's computer, but if my wife had not made sexual intimacy so difficult I'd have had no idea what a computer game was.
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Post by M2G on Dec 4, 2017 6:19:02 GMT -5
Allrighty then - thanks again for the advice. I got an email last night from them speaking about my coming on board (so as a sales guy I like that - he's giving me ownership of the job already). I returned, with thanks and expectations (including yours DryCreek) and we will be discussing compensation this evening. As far as the SM goes - best evening in a long time with my W - lots of laughing & having fun so went to bed (alone) but feeling a little more at peace. ..Hoping for a happy day.
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Post by M2G on Dec 5, 2017 6:09:06 GMT -5
Well, I was supposed to have a conversation last night at 8 PM with the company president and director of sales, however the Pres shot me a text in the AM and, long story short he offered "a" or "b" and I suggested "c" and the deal was done - I will be back with them starting Jan 2 as director of sales USA. The other guy will be director of sales Canada.
I got everything I asked for and a little more on the money side. So that's a done deal.
Thanks for the input all!
Also a big TY to my W, who helped me craft that letter (proofreading) - she really is awesome as a writer.
Now, (soon as the papers are signed) I need to tell current employer. Going to suck, but I keep telling myself something I tell a lot of people on here: "It's understandable that you will feel like shit about telling him this, it's perfectly normal, and the sooner the better, so he can get on with looking for my replacement."
On the home side, still going well. a lot of talking and laughing, even some touching initiated by my W. We're working to be friends again and I really don't want to fuck that process up (as I have a proven track record of sabotaging anything good that comes my way.)
What's not going well: My mind is still just jumping all over the place. The mood swings have subsided (albeit not gone), but my focus on the present is for shit.
Last couple days I've been drifting off during conversations with my W, and when listening to my audio books I'm constantly having to "rewind" because my mind went somewhere else.
End of day - what woman in her right mind wants to have intimate relations (or even be friends) with someone who appears to not give a damn what she's saying? I have to fix this, for my own sake, my W's sake, as well as the people who will be working for me.
Leave, cheat, or stay, (back to that question) - for now its going to be stay, and work on myself and the relationship. Sex will have to wait.
I've been working with DBT training out of a workbook - its helping. That workbook touches on "Mindfulness" I looked into it - seems like it may be helpful. If not, I'll at least have some better monetary resources if it come to need for counseling.
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