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Post by ironhamster on Nov 17, 2017 19:34:22 GMT -5
It sounds like reasonable advice, except that in my 20 years of corporate life, one thing I have learned is that HR is there to protect the company's interest not the employees despite appearances. An easy way to end it would be to go to h-r. I do have a couple anecdotal stories of HR getting involved with personal things, and neither worked out well for the complainant. It would be best in my opinion to leave them out of it.
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Post by wastedyears on Nov 17, 2017 22:00:15 GMT -5
On the surface it sounds like reasonable advice, except that in my 20 years of corporate life, one thing I have learned is that HR is there to protect the company's interest not the employee's despite appearances. An easy way to end it would be to go to h-r. The sad part is, I am HR. I know better; I should have stopped it a long time ago. I honestly wasn’t completely sure of his intentions, but it is pretty clear to me now.
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Post by TMD on Nov 17, 2017 22:03:37 GMT -5
Are there laws that protect you from workplace sexual harassment? If so, then you should be able to safely trust HR to help you with this situation. HR professionals are bound by a code of ethics.
I had an employee who was, “harassed,” by the president at a company party. He was a child dressed in a man’s body and he made a very poor choice. On the spectrum of things, it wasn’t even the worst sort of offense, but it made her uncomfortable. She wanted to feel better about the situation. As her HR Advisor, i reviewed options with her, including a formal complaint. She chose to resolve it in a different way. Ultimately, my role wasn’t about, “protecting,” the boss or the company, but preserving her dignity and ability to continue working without discomfort. Which we were able to achieve.
Depending on precedence where you live, and if you have a reasonably healthy HR department, I tend to believe that you can resolve this.
And seriously, what a dysfunctional man. I can’t wrap my head around how he could possibly think his words and actions are appropriate for the workplace. I’m pretty sure healthy boundaries are not his thing.
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Post by TMD on Nov 17, 2017 22:05:34 GMT -5
I see now that you are HR. I hope you don’t think that I think you’re incapable of dealing with the situation... it’s a tricky balance with employees and the things they tell you in your role. But, yes, that guy needs somebody to set boundaries for him.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Nov 17, 2017 22:27:46 GMT -5
Oh snap! Well that is quite the plot twist. Doesn't change a thing though. No one is on here to judge you. You know what you have to do. Gather your strength and set some boundaries. On the surface it sounds like reasonable advice, except that in my 20 years of corporate life, one thing I have learned is that HR is there to protect the company's interest not the employee's despite appearances. The sad part is, I am HR. I know better; I should have stopped it a long time ago. I honestly wasn’t completely sure of his intentions, but it is pretty clear to me now.
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Post by jim44444 on Nov 17, 2017 22:35:31 GMT -5
I apologize in advance for being a smartass but -
For a guy with a small penis he sure has big balls.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Nov 17, 2017 22:39:36 GMT -5
Yeah balls so big, they divert the oxygen supply to the brain apparently 😂😂😂 I apologize in advance for being a smartass but - For a guy with a small penis he sure has big balls.
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Post by M2G on Nov 18, 2017 0:26:54 GMT -5
That leading with the dick thing, is just not normal. Not even in a Monty Python kind of way. I would kick this up to a supervisor instantly. It could cost the company a ton, especially if there are lawsuits.
Make it perfectly clear to management that his talk and advances are unwanted. Make sure you are on the right side of this, when someone gets fired.
FYI, I was in a position twice, to have to deal with this kind of crap. One guy I had removed by security for stalking (after one of his coworkers came forward as a witness), the other was on probation and missed calling in, so I dropped the hammer on him instant!y.
The ladies, were much appreciative.
Report him.
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Post by baza on Nov 18, 2017 1:20:25 GMT -5
"do you think that he is talking to me about these things because he is attracted to me?" - you ask Sister wastedyears . I think it way more likely that he is a troubled person, wrestling with the dichotomy of sexual expression in a complicated modern world. That is` to say - a moron. Any idea of who else in the workplace he is inflicting this idiocy on ? There can be safety in numbers.
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Post by choosinghappy on Nov 18, 2017 7:40:00 GMT -5
That leading with the dick thing, is just not normal. Not even in a Monty Python kind of way. I would kick this up to a supervisor instantly. It could cost the company a ton, especially if there are lawsuits. Make it perfectly clear to management that his talk and advances are unwanted. Make sure you are on the right side of this, when someone gets fired. .... Report him. Based on what you wrote wastedyears, it sounds like you did not discourage him from this behavior. Yes it is absolutely out of line in the workplace and obviously can be considered sexual harassment but if I was in the situation, I would let him know this is unwanted and you want him to stop. If he doesn’t stop then, then yeah, it’s harassment and you should take steps to report him. Maybe I’m too nice or something but I feel like: No he shouldn’t be doing it in the first place (and it’s really very stupid of him) but if your responses led him to believe it was ok, is it fair to report him and possibly have him lose his job etc. without even letting him know that this is not ok with you? And not to be a jerk but since you’re in HR, that is even more reason for you to put a stop to this immediately.
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Post by northstarmom on Nov 18, 2017 8:27:26 GMT -5
“And not to be a jerk but since you’re in HR, that is even more reason for you to put a stop to this immediately he is likely doing or attempting to do similar things to others. He has no boundaries and lacks good sense about propriety. He could even be stupid enough to tell others if his conversations with you, Ms HR. If he does, both of you likely will be fired. You will be known as the hr director who encouraged and welcomed flagrantly inappropriate and illegal behavior. For the sake of your job, tell him he must stop the sexual talk with you and anyone else on the job. Give him a verbal warning. Tell him if he does it again, you will document it in his work record to begin the grounds for firing him.
Just because you are in a sm and miss sex doesn’t mean you engage in something so blatantly risky.if you want sex, it would be far less risky to engage in sexual conversations with strangers on the s Internet or to join Ashley Madison.
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Post by northstarmom on Nov 18, 2017 8:35:28 GMT -5
“Any idea of who else in the workplace he is inflicting this idiocy on ?”
She is h-r. She is supposed to be preventing such inappropriate behavior. Since he is stupid enough to treat her that way, he very likely is doing or has done that to more vulnerable women. She is responsible for creating a harassment free workplace but she has been encouraging his behavior. If any other woman tells him he is out of bounds, he may even truthfully say the hr director participates in such conversations. If someone sues the company, the hr durector’s complicity could end up in the front page. She needs to put him in check. Yesterday.
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Post by hopingforachange on Nov 18, 2017 8:37:36 GMT -5
Depending on the size of the company, there are parts of HR that have nothing to do with employee behavior,
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Post by northstarmom on Nov 18, 2017 8:48:19 GMT -5
Whatever her position in hr, she still is part of the department responsible for maintaining a nonhostile workplace. She even more than other employees would be expected to know and enforce the rules. Her allowing such a flagrant rules violation could cost her her job. Her telling him to stop and not to do such things with others would Due to where she works carry more weight than if said by someone not in hr. And if she reported it to higher ups, her listening can’t be viewed as consent nor can it excuse his behavior.
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Post by lwoetin on Nov 18, 2017 9:23:46 GMT -5
This is personal stuff occuring in your office that can get you both in trouble. Careful that co-workers on either side of your office may be able to hear your conversation. Keep your office door open when you have visitors, especially the opposite sex. That would discourage inappropriate activities. Yes, you need to look for validation outside your workplace and work hours. He is a strange dude and he doesn't seem to worry about keeping his job.
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