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Post by darktippedrose on Nov 15, 2017 14:13:40 GMT -5
Emotional intimacy for me, is two parts.
One, I have to have kisses, hugs and endless cuddles. I can NOT have any emotional intimacy without them.
at all.
Two - I need acceptance without any constant fear of judgement, and being treated with disgust or like I'm the stupidest person on earth. Acceptance without fear or judgement.
For me, that is emotional intimacy, without it sex can never be a positive experience.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2017 15:42:59 GMT -5
Again, great thread.
I'd like to add a caveat to the idea of sharing literally everything with one's partner. Some things you share might hurt them,
We all have our sensitivities especially after years of being in dysfunctional relationships. But other things too...how we look, bad habits, family members, all our accumulated shit in our brains. Obviously the supportive partner would help their lover as best they can get through their issues but there will always be some topics that are too painful to bring up.
And in a good emotionally intimate relationship one needs to know when NOT to share.
This is a problem I know I have.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2017 17:32:46 GMT -5
Another member here made me realize I feel unclear about my comfortability with emotional intimacy. Likely, in part, due to a lack of it in my marriage. Help me out everyone: What does true emotional intimacy mean to you? What are the most important parts of it? Give me some good examples. When thinking about emotional intimacy I often think about vulnerability -- being able to share your true authentic self with someone without fear of judgment or criticism. Sharing both fears and joy and receiving validation in return. What else? true emotional intimacy is like this on the inside: Save
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Post by lwoetin on Nov 15, 2017 23:54:39 GMT -5
Emotional intimacy is trying to make one's spouse feel like she is the best and only spouse for me, that she is beautiful, hardworking, smart, great mother, funny and appreciated. Hopefully the sexual intimacy would follow.
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Post by choosinghappy on Feb 3, 2019 23:55:03 GMT -5
I found this today and thought it was pertinent to this old thread: And on a personal note: Since this post I have discovered that I DO love emotional intimacy (with tirefire, just not with my Ex because I couldn’t trust him). With the right person it is amazing. Just another way being in my SM made me question my true self.
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Post by Handy on Feb 4, 2019 12:20:57 GMT -5
Emotional intimacy, what is the pre-school definition? I have some of Emotional intimacy but have been subject to corporate, it's the bottom line that counts the most.
I know I need more work in this area and admit to thinking more about fixing things than tuning into a person's feelings, including mine. OTH, I am a soft hearted person. Confusing!
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 4, 2019 13:27:32 GMT -5
Emotional intimacy means being able to comfortably be vulnerable with another person such as if you're comfortable telling them about something that made you feel ashamed of yourself.. You are able to do this because you know they will welcome you as you are, they won't make fun of you or belittle you.
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Post by shamwow on Feb 4, 2019 13:55:06 GMT -5
Emotional intimacy means being able to comfortably be vulnerable with another person such as if you're comfortable telling them about something that made you feel ashamed of yourself.. You are able to do this because you know they will welcome you as you are, they won't make fun of you or belittle you. Wow. This one hits home. Last night I opened something up to ballofconfusion that I never could have done with my ex. I was able to because I feel safe doing so with her. This is something NEVER present in 20 years of my SM.
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Post by sadkat on Feb 4, 2019 19:48:29 GMT -5
Emotional intimacy means being able to comfortably be vulnerable with another person such as if you're comfortable telling them about something that made you feel ashamed of yourself.. You are able to do this because you know they will welcome you as you are, they won't make fun of you or belittle you. I love this definition northstarmom! I hope to be able to have this with someone at some point in my life. It is sadly missing in my marriage.
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Post by carl on Feb 4, 2019 20:29:09 GMT -5
Emotional intimacy means being able to comfortably be vulnerable with another person such as if you're comfortable telling them about something that made you feel ashamed of yourself.. You are able to do this because you know they will welcome you as you are, they won't make fun of you or belittle you. I love this definition northstarmom! I hope to be able to have this with someone at some point in my life. It is sadly missing in my marriage. I think there are opportunities to be emotionally intimate in life whatever your situation. We are all human. I would expect some people to need that and think nothing of it.
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Post by Handy on Feb 4, 2019 20:31:14 GMT -5
NorthStarMom Emotional intimacy means being able to comfortably be vulnerable with another person such as if you're comfortable telling them about something that made you feel ashamed of yourself.. You are able to do this because you know they will welcome you as you are, they won't make fun of you or belittle you.I don't disagree with you. I will say that talking about some things to another person goes counter to how most boys/men are trained. There is even a training program to learn how to hide stress, physical exhaustion and to make believe the guy has everything under control when everyone else's situation is falling apart. For me it has been difficult to go against my training. OH, I can be very caring but I resist spilling all of the beans, not even to my therapist. The tall strong male in the room has often been the one people turn to when they want help, and that is what I used to do. I can give help, even if it is the wrong type of help, but I mean well.
Where am I now as compared to 20 years ago, closer to emotional intimacy but I am not there.
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