Post by northstarmom on Nov 8, 2017 20:28:29 GMT -5
Great article. I related. When I started hanging out with people who liked sex and were comfortable with it, I became more aware of how I deserved sex, and how nothing was wrong with me for expecting my husband to have sex with me. That awareness and support helped me leave my marriage. I especially liked this in the article:
"His neuroscience research has found that when two people are in each other's company, their brain waves will begin to look nearly identical. One study of moviegoers, for instance, found the most engaging trailers all produced similar patterns in people's brains. "The more we study engagement, we see time and again that just being next to certain people actually aligns your brain with them," based on their mannerisms, the smell of the room, the noise level, and many other factors, Cerf said. "This means the people you hang out with actually have an impact on your engagement with reality beyond what you can explain. And one of the effects is you become alike." It's apparent in people's behaviour, too. Buzzkills bring people's moods down; fast-talkers cause the pace of conversation to pick up; comedians get people feeling light, or funny. From those two premises, Cerf's conclusion is that if people want to maximise happiness and minimise stress, they should build a life that requires fewer decisions by surrounding themselves with people who embody the traits they prefer."
I realize that there is a very valid point about choosing people who have similar belief and who coordinate with our world view. It does make life easier. However, if we were by some wonderful opportunity able to communicate, and thereby synchronize our minds, with our spouses about sex, would our situations perhaps improve?
To a point you become alike, perhaps. I work with a huge spectrum of people all with varying degrees of abilities and disabilities to include SPMI. (Severe and persistent mental illness). I'd like to think I'm bringing calmness and positivity to the room. I do have to remain vigilant with my self care, though, to include time outdoors, and healthy diet and exercise otherwise I start feeling gloomy. But that's not because of my clients. I'm sure the article didn't mean you literally become alike, I didn't read it in depth.
Those who feel lovable, who love, and who experience belonging simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging. - Brene Brown
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