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Post by JMX on Nov 8, 2017 22:47:12 GMT -5
Have you all been having sex again too? Hahahahahaha!! Oh...you were serious? No. No sex. He did hold my hand tonight. Big move. Ha! Actually I was! I was cutting to the point I guess I can totally understand why you're not on board then. If you're anything like me, friend - and I suspect you might be - that trope is tiring. Don't be nice - act like you want me. I appreciate nice, I am not turned on by nice. Romantic men (to me) are full of shit. I prefer a man to be a man. I just want to be a woman that takes care of my man - because he wants it all the time. I have had tons of ideas on what I thought this would be like as opposed to what I got. One vivid idea I envisioned in particular - being on my period, looking at myself in the mirror while rinsing my mouth out with mouthwash after giving future husband a blow job. I would spit and smile at myself in the mirror. I sincerely thought that was an obvious duty if I didn't feel like it because I was crampy - I always figured I would take care of my man. I remember being as young as 22 and kind of day-dreaming that this is what married life might be like. It was a happy thought. Fucking Wasted.
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Post by workingonit on Nov 8, 2017 22:53:23 GMT -5
Yes, JMX I feel similarly. Where are the men not intimidated by strong, sexual women?! (Although I do think there are a bunch in this board actually!)
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Post by csl on Nov 8, 2017 23:26:25 GMT -5
Well, the Rabbi will look like a goose to his numerous followers if his own primary relationship goes guts up - particularly if the reason gets out. Rabbi? Did I miss something? How did a rabbi get in this thread? I ask because I am especially intrigued by my studies of late, about the Jewishness of Rabbi Jesus.
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Post by ironhamster on Nov 8, 2017 23:35:12 GMT -5
Yes, JMX I feel similarly. Where are the men not intimidated by strong, sexual women?! (Although I do think there are a bunch in this board actually!) The younger generation is getting worse. The alpha male is an endangered species.
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Post by M2G on Nov 8, 2017 23:41:50 GMT -5
Two words: nuclear reset. This happened to me several years ago, before this current 6 year dry hell. I was still trying to initiate to no avail. One day right out of the blue she pops into the room with a toy and wants me to use it on her. I kind of froze. I should be into it, but I just froze. A giant WTF. I wanted to but I just went totally numb. She stomped out of the room saying some stupid shit about me being threatened because I wasn't the one initiating blah blah. Well fuck me for not crawling on my knees and weeping tears of fucking joy if I get a chance to touch her every 2 or 6 fucking years and pretend for maybe 20 minutes that everything will be OK. It is so not OK, couldn't be more not OK. So workingonit I guess you're not alone in being put off by too little too late. I think your being put off and confused is a totally natural response and it's perfectly reasonable that you feel the way you do, as a defense against more hurt being inflicted. I think your removing yourself for a bit is a good idea. If/when you decide to return, will he still be making amends, or is it all just lip service (and not the kind that any of us here are seeking). Sorry for the dark humor. No I'm not...
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Post by DryCreek on Nov 8, 2017 23:41:54 GMT -5
I prefer a man to be a man. I just want to be a woman that takes care of my man - because he wants it all the time. I have had tons of ideas on what I thought this would be like as opposed to what I got. And why shouldn't he want you all the time? I happen to think that's flattering, not just objectifying you for sex, as some seem to react. And if you've still got it after decades together, holy cow, that's something to be celebrated! And yet, instead of feeling gratitude at their good fortune, they're annoyed by it. It seems a lot like someone who's never gone hungry complaining because the fridge is always stocked. Go figure.
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Post by baza on Nov 8, 2017 23:49:16 GMT -5
Well, the Rabbi will look like a goose to his numerous followers if his own primary relationship goes guts up - particularly if the reason gets out. Rabbi? Did I miss something? How did a rabbi get in this thread? I ask because I am especially intrigued by my studies of late, about the Jewishness of Rabbi Jesus.t It is in Sister workingonit 's back stories Brother csl . A comment she made on the Taking Our Parts v Why Chasing thread Quoting workingonit here - "He is brilliant, a deep and insightful academic and rabbi. He is a teacher and powerful thinker with students and 'followers' all over the world." Personally, I think reading back stories so you can see the current story in context is a worthwhile thing to do.
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Post by csl on Nov 8, 2017 23:54:10 GMT -5
Rabbi? Did I miss something? How did a rabbi get in this thread? I ask because I am especially intrigued by my studies of late, about the Jewishness of Rabbi Jesus.t It is in Sister workingonit 's back stories Brother csl . A comment she made on the Taking Our Parts v Why Chasing thread Quoting workingonit here - "He is brilliant, a deep and insightful academic and rabbi. He is a teacher and powerful thinker with students and 'followers' all over the world." Personally, I think reading back stories so you can see the current story in context is a worthwhile thing to do. I do read back stories; I just don't remember them all.
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Post by h on Nov 9, 2017 5:39:43 GMT -5
Hahahahahaha!! Oh...you were serious? No. No sex. He did hold my hand tonight. Big move. Ha! Actually I was! I was cutting to the point I guess I can totally understand why you're not on board then. If you're anything like me, friend - and I suspect you might be - that trope is tiring. Don't be nice - act like you want me. I appreciate nice, I am not turned on by nice. Romantic men (to me) are full of shit. I prefer a man to be a man. I just want to be a woman that takes care of my man - because he wants it all the time. I have had tons of ideas on what I thought this would be like as opposed to what I got. One vivid idea I envisioned in particular - being on my period, looking at myself in the mirror while rinsing my mouth out with mouthwash after giving future husband a blow job. I would spit and smile at myself in the mirror. I sincerely thought that was an obvious duty if I didn't feel like it because I was crampy - I always figured I would take care of my man. I remember being as young as 22 and kind of day-dreaming that this is what married life might be like. It was a happy thought. Fucking Wasted. Wow, that's what I thought married life would be like too! If only...
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Post by h on Nov 9, 2017 5:43:38 GMT -5
It is in Sister workingonit 's back stories Brother csl . A comment she made on the Taking Our Parts v Why Chasing thread Quoting workingonit here - "He is brilliant, a deep and insightful academic and rabbi. He is a teacher and powerful thinker with students and 'followers' all over the world." Personally, I think reading back stories so you can see the current story in context is a worthwhile thing to do. I do read back stories; I just don't remember them all. I missed it too in the original context. Figured it out in another later conversation. Nobody catches everything all the time.
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Post by h on Nov 9, 2017 5:53:09 GMT -5
I prefer a man to be a man. I just want to be a woman that takes care of my man - because he wants it all the time. I have had tons of ideas on what I thought this would be like as opposed to what I got. And why shouldn't he want you all the time? I happen to think that's flattering, not just objectifying you for sex, as some seem to react. And if you've still got it after decades together, holy cow, that's something to be celebrated! And yet, instead of feeling gratitude at their good fortune, they're annoyed by it. It seems a lot like someone who's never gone hungry complaining because the fridge is always stocked. Go figure. ^^^^^^^^This a thousand times. A man who is taken care of this well should be grateful and do everything he can to give his wife everything she wants. To have that intimate bond be so strong after so many years is something I always wanted (and expected I would have once I got married). To have a woman who was happy and took satisfaction from being the one and only person who could meet my intimacy needs and did so with joy instead of obligation would be a dream come true. JMX your H is a blind fool not to treasure you.
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Post by workingonit on Nov 9, 2017 6:14:26 GMT -5
It is in Sister workingonit 's back stories Brother csl . A comment she made on the Taking Our Parts v Why Chasing thread Quoting workingonit here - "He is brilliant, a deep and insightful academic and rabbi. He is a teacher and powerful thinker with students and 'followers' all over the world." Personally, I think reading back stories so you can see the current story in context is a worthwhile thing to do. I do read back stories; I just don't remember them all. csl no worries! I can't hold them all either and I am still reading a few. Yes, my h is a Rabbi. Feel free to pm me if you have questions!
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Post by northstarmom on Nov 9, 2017 7:22:37 GMT -5
“Oh...you were serious? No. No sex. He did hold my hand tonight. Big move”
You have been starving for affection for so long that you’ve forgotten a crumb of bread is not a feast. There is nothing for you to be grateful for. Years of suffering in yourcpsrt and expressing that suffering have caused your husband to take your hand. Too little, too late.
Let him bask in the glow of his adoring fans while you move on with your life by freeing yourself so you can be available to someone who loves you back the way you deserve and desire.
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Post by northstarmom on Nov 9, 2017 7:26:41 GMT -5
“The younger generation is getting worse. The alpha male is an endangered species.”
Alpha man? A man who is never vulnerable, has to be in charge all of the time, brags that his dick is biggest? I’ll pass.
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Post by northstarmom on Nov 9, 2017 7:30:56 GMT -5
“Romantic men (to me) are full of shit. I”
?? What’s your idea of a romantic man? I’m with a romantic man. My refuser was not a romantic man. My post sm guy tells me he loves me, compliments my body, takes pleasure in touching me. He can quote beautiful literature. He’s sexually assertive while also enjoying my high libido. What’s not to enjoy?
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