|
Post by baza on Nov 1, 2017 22:24:52 GMT -5
I am betting Brother itme and Sister workingonit that you do NOT spend every waking hour obsessed by these people in your life who divorced.... who was "right" or who was "wrong". So it will be when (if) you take the plunge. You can bet with absolute certainty that among your circle there WILL be rush to judgement by some people. They will be real keen to take the inventory of the "wrong" person and will probably unload on them - behind their back of course - unmercifully. You can also bet with absolute certainty that this inventory taking will last anything up to an hour as they blab on to anyone who is listening at that time before they direct their attention toward more pressing matters, like what idiocy has been perpetrated by one of those Kardashian imbeciles, or what's on cable tonight, or how they are going to make the next mortgage payment. You can also bet with absolute certainty that the amount of time people in your circle devote to talking about you is quite minimal, and is nowhere near as much as you think it is. They will be no more obsessed about what is going on in your life than you are obsessed with what is going on in their lives. You can also take to the bank that the next (after you) event involving someone these people know will rapidly erase you from their attentions as they focus on the most recent faux pas someone has made. As far as conducting your life and making your choices based on a policy of "what other people might think" I reckon that that is a most unwise position to take. What Mrs Scrotum over the road might think is not greatly relevant - except for Mrs Scrotum of course.
|
|
|
Post by workingonit on Nov 2, 2017 5:55:37 GMT -5
baza thanks for that. I absolutely agree with you. I am not really talking about what anyone will think of me though. I am in a tight knit community. We have all been together for a long time. I know they will continue to love and support me and my h. But it is a community of married people and it WILL change to be divorced. But part of me has been dreaming for a long time of just taking off amd living full time in an RV anyway, so maybe a moot point!
|
|
|
Post by hopingforachange on Nov 2, 2017 6:31:43 GMT -5
itmeIt sounds like when the sex jokes and innuendos come up when the couples get together, you need to start painting the picture that she "deserted" your bedroom years ago and you will help her desert the rest of the marriage. I know I have stepped up and fought back against the "deserter" crap and her painting him as a "cheater". My W is even suprised when I did that, I think she realized it was a warning shot.
|
|
|
Post by baza on Nov 2, 2017 19:28:52 GMT -5
baza thanks for that. I absolutely agree with you. I am not really talking about what anyone will think of me though. I am in a tight knit community. We have all been together for a long time. I know they will continue to love and support me and my h. But it is a community of married people and it WILL change to be divorced. But part of me has been dreaming for a long time of just taking off amd living full time in an RV anyway, so maybe a moot point! What you say about change is quite so. Personally - when I was an adolescent, my affiliation of friends were similar. when I was at school, my affiliation of friends was similar. when in the workforce and single, so were most of my friends. when in the army, most of my friends were too. when my missus and I first hooked up, most of our friends were couples. when we had kids, we tended to gravitate toward other parents in our social life. when we separated, my few (tried and true) friends (from the above environments over the years) were my friends. when I met Ms enna, we started to gravitate back toward friendships with other couples. Point I am trying to get at is that change is constant. There's no end to it. It is not a bad thing.
|
|