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Post by deadzone75 on Oct 23, 2017 11:12:09 GMT -5
I hate my job. I mean, I dread it. I never have consecutive days off, so I spend my one day off dreading going back in the next day.
Yet I find myself wondering...would I hate it as much if I had sex on an even semi-regular basis? Maybe my co-workers feel the same, but they don't show it.
Maybe in their minds they think...yeah, this sucks, but at least I'm getting laid tonight. Or getting a blowjob tonight. Or even a handjob tonight. Or even just an erotic text to read.
Anyone else finding it hard to "be an adult" in a sexless life? Or maybe my job just really sucks.
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Post by M2G on Oct 23, 2017 11:22:39 GMT -5
For sure it distracts my attention, and on bad days really put a limit on my confidence. I'm in sales, so low confidence is definitely a critical area.
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Post by johnwyo1 on Oct 23, 2017 11:29:28 GMT -5
My marriage makes work a certain kind of refuge. I've ended up working in a job I don't like much. It's definitely not my calling or my passion. But it is better than being home with my wife in a lot of ways. People at work appreciate me and say so. They smile when they see me. They listen and care about what I have to say. I get respect and some affirmation. So, work's pretty good and I've learned not to dread it.
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Post by h on Oct 23, 2017 11:33:23 GMT -5
It certainly makes it harder to deal with job stress. I don't like my job much either and the stress makes me like it less. With no emotional support or stress relief that I would get from a sex life, it's much more difficult to be happy about it. A regular sex life would alleviate most of the stress and make it easier to work. That would, in turn, make my job more enjoyable. Domino effect for the rest of life...
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Post by TMD on Oct 23, 2017 11:42:02 GMT -5
Maybe? My job was, primarily, a SAHM for 9 years. Add on to that timeline infertility issues (on top of not being able to have fun DTD with the rommmate), then getting pregnant and dealing with PPD... I was miserable. When I returned to work last Fall, I noticed how happy I was. The kids noticed it too.
The irony? I was doing entry level work (I was, at one point in time, qualified as mid-level mgmt), and I was satisfied.
But I have a lover. And am revising th exit plan due to snag in the job I had earlier this year that ended up being rather traumatic (I know, it sounds like a contradiction, but I quit and found myself a better opp,, however lower salary, which puts a snag in plan).
And despite all th chaos (ha! 9 years of back taxes to complete, and yet, I’m loving what it means to complete them: freedom from the stress of not having done them!).
I am finding myself to be happier than ever.
So... my point is, make choices that lead you to finding your happy place. Baby steps are a good start.
A couple of weeks ago somebody said something that really resonated: a cluttered home is the sign of a cluttered mind.
My mind was cluttered for so long. Figuratively and literally. Taking small steps towards fulfilling me have been HUGE.
And the people I care about, and those who care about me, are noticing. It is SO good to have finally arrived.
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 23, 2017 12:26:27 GMT -5
We are all wired a bit differently.
I have worked long hours my whole marriage, perhaps because it is an escape. It keeps my mind off things I should have been thinking about.
If I had a week or two where I did not want to be at work, I would write that off as normal. If it lasted for months, I would assume that was God telling me to find something else to do.
I work with people that hate their jobs. I do not want to be like that.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2017 12:42:34 GMT -5
To be honest I never thought about it, but yes I’m sure sex could have made my work days much better by relieving the stress. But now everything has changed and I am a counter refuser, so I’d rather to be at work than in home with him.
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Post by brian on Oct 23, 2017 13:38:56 GMT -5
I’m a TGIM (Thank God It’s Monday) person. I get to interact with other adults, I don’t have to think about my roomie, and I don’t have 3 kids pestering me for all sorts of things. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, but my roomie doesn’t have a spine when it comes to disciplinary action, so the kids are spoiled brats. I do what I can with them, but it spills over and I’m happy yo have the break come Monday morning.
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Post by dinnaken on Oct 23, 2017 13:41:54 GMT -5
I have a slightly different take.
I think that you have to find happiness somewhere in your life. That might be at home (unlikely!) or in the escape offered by a job or in hobbies etc at weekends.
Many years ago an old guy, sadly long dead, told me "You have to find happiness somewhere" and I took that to heart. I had no chance of happiness at home and I was in a job I hated. That was going to kill me in time, one way or another.
I felt I couldn't leave my marriage ('cos of the child) - so I changed my job. It was hard work but worth it; I earn a lot less but now that we are separated I can still get by and each month I can even save a little.
So my sexless marriage made me get a happier job
Result!
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Post by deadzone75 on Oct 23, 2017 14:04:38 GMT -5
My marriage makes work a certain kind of refuge. I've ended up working in a job I don't like much. It's definitely not my calling or my passion. But it is better than being home with my wife in a lot of ways. People at work appreciate me and say so. They smile when they see me. They listen and care about what I have to say. I get respect and some affirmation. So, work's pretty good and I've learned not to dread it. That's what I was hoping for when I moved from my awesome job in Seattle. We moved so the W could take on her latest promotion, which left me searching for a job. I found nothing for months, and was faced with depression and a feeling of worthlessness (in addition to the worthlessness no sex brings). All I wanted was a job. Then I got one and on paper it was great, but inside it is miserable: micromanaging, daily lectures, co-workers who don't want to talk to you, no consecutive days off, no lunch breaks half the time. It's like, what have I done to deserve this? All I want is an escape from my crappy home life, and now matters are worse. But maybe it starts at home.
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Post by deadzone75 on Oct 23, 2017 14:06:26 GMT -5
We are all wired a bit differently. I have worked long hours my whole marriage, perhaps because it is an escape. It keeps my mind off things I should have been thinking about. If I had a week or two where I did not want to be at work, I would write that off as normal. If it lasted for months, I would assume that was God telling me to find something else to do. I work with people that hate their jobs. I do not want to be like that. That's where I'm at. I hate home and I hate work. Double-bummer.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 23, 2017 14:09:52 GMT -5
I hate my job. I mean, I dread it. I never have consecutive days off, so I spend my one day off dreading going back in the next day. Yet I find myself wondering...would I hate it as much if I had sex on an even semi-regular basis? Maybe my co-workers feel the same, but they don't show it. Maybe in their minds they think...yeah, this sucks, but at least I'm getting laid tonight. Or getting a blowjob tonight. Or even a handjob tonight. Or even just an erotic text to read. Anyone else finding it hard to "be an adult" in a sexless life? Or maybe my job just really sucks. Well, I'm recently out of my SM and now getting laid on a regular basis after a 3 year drought. Work is still work. Just as before. Not exactly a scientific finding, but it's all I got.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 23, 2017 14:11:50 GMT -5
For sure it distracts my attention, and on bad days really put a limit on my confidence. I'm in sales, so low confidence is definitely a critical area. I would argue that the hit on the confidence isn't the sex act itself. Instead, it is beating your head up against a wall trying to make a sale for your only customer and that customer actively dislikes what you're selling.
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Post by WindSister on Oct 23, 2017 14:16:27 GMT -5
I hate my job. I mean, I dread it. I never have consecutive days off, so I spend my one day off dreading going back in the next day. Yet I find myself wondering...would I hate it as much if I had sex on an even semi-regular basis? Maybe my co-workers feel the same, but they don't show it. Maybe in their minds they think...yeah, this sucks, but at least I'm getting laid tonight. Or getting a blowjob tonight. Or even a handjob tonight. Or even just an erotic text to read. Anyone else finding it hard to "be an adult" in a sexless life? Or maybe my job just really sucks. Well, I'm recently out of my SM and now getting laid on a regular basis after a 3 year drought. Work is still work. Just as before. Not exactly a scientific finding, but it's all I got. ^^^^^ I agree with Shamwow. Currently for me, work is taking away from the satisfaction of my home life and I need to swing that pendulum the other way. But has nothing to do with sex. I have regular sex and, yeah, work is work.
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Post by aguywithneeds on Oct 23, 2017 14:55:34 GMT -5
I work with a bunch of dudes, I hear all about how their wives suck, so that is good. The single Guys talk about all the ass their getting which is good because I can live vicariously through them. I don't have to be at home where the second I'm there all responsibilities transfer to me and it is now my job to do everything while she watches TV plays in the tablet and naps. All wins, plus I get to chat with the occasional woman, that is a functional adult which is pretty promising for the future. I work out side, very labor intensive, so fresh air exercise, if I worked in an office or behind a desk I'd hate my life.
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