Hi, I just joined after reading some of your stories. I’m so glad I found this place for support. I got divorced a few months ago after a very, very long marriage - half of it dead, loveless and sexless and I feel lost and bereft.
It sounds like you've already overcome the milestone that many of us here agonize over. Not to say that's the easy part or the hard part - it all sucks, but at least it sounds like you're not in limbo anymore. Congratulations for being decisive!
It's been suggested here that it takes a year to re-acclimate for every 4-5 years in a bad relationship. It's not like a light switch, but I'll bet that reading and chatting here will accelerate the process and help you internalize that some spouses are just defective, through no fault of your own. It's also very helpful to gain insight to how we got into our situations in the first place, why we allowed it to continue, and how to avoid a repeat.
Hi @rosie Welcome, I'm glad that you've found this site and I hope that you find support and help here.
Like you I've recently (four months ago) left a long (27 years) loveless and sexless marriage.
I'm sorry that you feel lost and bereft. I can remember, in the immediate aftermath, just sitting in a chair for hours - stunned. I had a couple of mild panic attacks in the supermarket (anyway that's what the doc told me they were), I had a lot of anxiety to deal with and really bad dreams, as well.
But for me things have started to get better and I now describe myself as 'happy' - and I am - but I'm conscious that I have a lot of underlying **** to deal with.