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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2017 13:31:29 GMT -5
Frell me -one time one of our female friends came over complaining that her husband will only do it 3 - 4 times a WEEK. My refuser just told here "that sucks..." I was fuckin' fuming inside. I would have had to restrain myself from screaming, "WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?"
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Post by h on Oct 6, 2017 13:33:15 GMT -5
Frell me -one time one of our female friends came over complaining that her husband will only do it 3 - 4 times a WEEK. My refuser just told here "that sucks..." I was fuckin' fuming inside. Don't hold back anymore. Chime right in and let her friend know that your house is the same in reverse! Don't participate in her lie.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 6, 2017 14:07:46 GMT -5
Damn...that's like a cherry on top of the ice cream sundae. Not as good as sex, but moral victories count for something. Can't really tell if sex is better. It's been so long since I had good sex that I think the moral victory may actually be better for me right now. Instead of the ice cream sundae though, I'll take my cherries in an Old Fashioned, or maybe a Manhattan. God, ain't that the truth? I remember being at that point. When the moral victory was actually better than getting laid...even after a several years-long lag.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 6, 2017 14:09:09 GMT -5
Frell me -one time one of our female friends came over complaining that her husband will only do it 3 - 4 times a WEEK. My refuser just told here "that sucks..." I was fuckin' fuming inside. Should have asked her if they were interested in a substitute player. Or perhaps you could consider yourself an understudy. It's always good to try to lend a hand with friends when you can.
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Post by M2G on Oct 6, 2017 15:19:03 GMT -5
Frell me -one time one of our female friends came over complaining that her husband will only do it 3 - 4 times a WEEK. My refuser just told here "that sucks..." I was fuckin' fuming inside. Should have asked her if they were interested in a substitute player. Or perhaps you could consider yourself an understudy. It's always good to try to lend a hand with friends when you can. Ya think? Later (after divorce) she made a timeline comment that proved she was outsourcing. Never called her on it though - what would be the point?
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 6, 2017 15:24:17 GMT -5
Well,heck, M2G, if you're not going for it, can you at least PM one of us her number? (joke)
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 6, 2017 15:26:25 GMT -5
"I was fuckin' fuming inside."
You don't have to enable him. Instead of fuming inside you could take advantage of that opportunity to speak truth that he hadn't fucked you in --- His own public lie gave you that opening. When you sit in silence, he thinks everything is fine and he continues to be falsely viewed by others as a stud.
Of course if you think it's to your advantage to be seen as part of a happy couple, keep biting your tongue while seething.
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 6, 2017 15:28:55 GMT -5
"I would have had to restrain myself from screaming, "WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?"
The problem is too many of the refused bite their tongue instead of speaking their own truth when the refused say in public thing suggesting there's lots of sex in the marriage. Biting your tongue tells refusers there is no sex problem in your marriage.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2017 15:43:26 GMT -5
"I would have had to restrain myself from screaming, "WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?" The problem is too many of the refused bite their tongue instead of speaking their own truth when the refused say in public thing suggesting there's lots of sex in the marriage. Biting your tongue tells refusers there is no sex problem in your marriage. You certainly have a valid point. The reason I did not call my refuser on her behavior for so many years was because I did not want to start a huge fight in front of my children. My refuser had no filter and would act as extreme as she wanted at any time. My youngest daughter went to college in August of 2015, and things got much worse without her presence to temper my refuser's fury. I put up with her behavior through the 2015 holiday season. Then we had a discussion in mid January about how dissatisfied I was with the lack of a sex life. She became very irate, but I did not back down this time. She finally agreed to make an appointment with a gynecologist by 2/7/16. On that date, I asked her if she had made an appointment and she said no. So I began looking for an apartment and buying some furniture. I moved out on 2/29/16. So even though I did stay for a long time, after my kids were gone, I made it very clear that her behavior was not acceptable. I guess I can be satisfied that I did not accept her treatment of me much longer than I had to.
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Post by DryCreek on Oct 6, 2017 17:29:29 GMT -5
Frell me -one time one of our female friends came over complaining that her husband will only do it 3 - 4 times a WEEK. My refuser just told here "that sucks..." I was fuckin' fuming inside. Oh, I'd have been so tempted to lead the conversation down a rose-lined path before pulling the rug out from under her... "So, what do you two ladies think is a reasonable frequency?" "And in your mind is that quickies, foreplay, or multiple positions and rounds?" W would surely walk right into it, chiming in with her friend. "So, why don't we do any of those things? I have a journal handy if you'd like to reference facts..." And h, did you get her number? ;-) I agree that's dangerous territory, but she's not likely to have much contact with your wife after that discussion. At a minimum, you got a very nice validation from her that you're fuck worthy. One would think it might have motivated your wife to realize that other women *do* find you attractive and she should reassess her attitude toward you.
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Post by tirefire on Oct 6, 2017 19:14:11 GMT -5
I would pay so much to have this happen to my wife. This story really made day.
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Post by h on Oct 6, 2017 19:30:17 GMT -5
Frell me -one time one of our female friends came over complaining that her husband will only do it 3 - 4 times a WEEK. My refuser just told here "that sucks..." I was fuckin' fuming inside. Oh, I'd have been so tempted to lead the conversation down a rose-lined path before pulling the rug out from under her... "So, what do you two ladies think is a reasonable frequency?" "And in your mind is that quickies, foreplay, or multiple positions and rounds?" W would surely walk right into it, chiming in with her friend. "So, why don't we do any of those things? I have a journal handy if you'd like to reference facts..." And h , did you get her number? ;-) I agree that's dangerous territory, but she's not likely to have much contact with your wife after that discussion. At a minimum, you got a very nice validation from her that you're fuck worthy. One would think it might have motivated your wife to realize that other women *do* find you attractive and she should reassess her attitude toward you. Already had her number. She's in a relationship anyway and not really my type.
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Post by hopingforachange on Oct 6, 2017 19:32:27 GMT -5
Oh, I'd have been so tempted to lead the conversation down a rose-lined path before pulling the rug out from under her... "So, what do you two ladies think is a reasonable frequency?" "And in your mind is that quickies, foreplay, or multiple positions and rounds?" W would surely walk right into it, chiming in with her friend. "So, why don't we do any of those things? I have a journal handy if you'd like to reference facts..." And h , did you get her number? ;-) I agree that's dangerous territory, but she's not likely to have much contact with your wife after that discussion. At a minimum, you got a very nice validation from her that you're fuck worthy. One would think it might have motivated your wife to realize that other women *do* find you attractive and she should reassess her attitude toward you. Already had her number. She's in a relationship anyway and not really my type. She has a..... Right?
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Post by h on Oct 6, 2017 20:18:13 GMT -5
Already had her number. She's in a relationship anyway and not really my type. She has a..... Right? Personality is way opposite of what I would be interested in. We have nothing in common and I would need more than just that. Besides, I have no interest in breaking my vows regardless of how my W has broken hers. It's a matter of personal character that I refuse to change about myself. Years ago, I would have judged others for cheating. I no longer would and can't fault anyone here for doing so. We are all human. I can, however, continue to hold onto my own values. If I don't hold on to who I am, then being free in the end would be meaningless to me.
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 6, 2017 20:50:28 GMT -5
We all have our values, and the most important thing is that we are true to them. I traded in my old values for ones I value more. If I held onto my values from a year ago my tormentor would know the value of my life insurance policy. I just can't be that guy any more.
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