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Post by h on Oct 6, 2017 7:21:37 GMT -5
So my W invited her best friend over for dinner this week. They were friends since high school and long before I knew either of them. I had to laugh because somehow the topic of sex came up and her friend started calling out my W right in front of me for not doing her "wifely duties". It was the greatest thing I have ever experienced. I then asked her to tell my W that again.... and again, and again, and again. W was not pleased by that comment. She basically told my W that she was married to me and it was her job and she better start taking care of me because I am a decent guy and didn't deserve to be treated like this. Her own best friend gets it.
I still didn't get any intimate attention since that night but I went to sleep with a huge smile on my face that night and every night since. Had to share that. It's just too funny to keep to myself. 😂
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Post by shamwow on Oct 6, 2017 8:21:45 GMT -5
Just curious...how did the sexless portion come up? It had to be brought up by you since there is no way your wife would have brought it up.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 6, 2017 8:37:31 GMT -5
Hopefully you invited her friend over again, and told her she's welcome to visit anytime, and often!!
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 6, 2017 8:55:00 GMT -5
It's good to have someone in your corner. My most sincere congratulations.
I wonder how this will play out, though. At the end of the day, even though sometimes it is better than nothing, sex under duress is not what you want.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 6, 2017 9:05:18 GMT -5
I won't be surprised if your wife's long time "friend" gets deleted from her set of fakebook minions. ( Until she needs a favor from her).
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 6, 2017 9:11:05 GMT -5
The plus of what happened is that obviously, your wife's friend views you as attractive enough and worthy enough to have sex with. If she thought you were repulsive or of bad character, she wouldnt be encouraging your wife to fuck you. If you are like some of the refused and have been wondering about your attractiveness, your wife's friend's words are reassurance that you are fuckable.
The minus of her words is that while she may view you as fuckable, your wife does not. Neither you nor the friend can make your wife sexually desire you. Your wife also can't do that. You may be able to pressure your wife into gritting her teeth and submitting to sexual. You may get resentful starfish sex but not mutually passionate, enjoyable sex.
If you want pleasurable sex with a woman who enjoys fucking you, you will need to get it from someone who is not your present wife.
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 6, 2017 9:19:50 GMT -5
I could argue you have a potential AP, although there are a lot of complications courting someone so close to your wife.
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mathdoll
Junior Member
The light is getting brighter........
Posts: 88
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Post by mathdoll on Oct 6, 2017 9:59:47 GMT -5
Its great when someone stands on your side.😀
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Post by h on Oct 6, 2017 10:11:36 GMT -5
Just curious...how did the sexless portion come up? It had to be brought up by you since there is no way your wife would have brought it up. Actually, I didn't bring it up. Her friend was talking about getting into a new relationship and sex came up. She knows from their past conversations that sex has been a struggle with us for a while and also knows that I have been faithful and stuck by my W through all of this despite not having much reason to. All this came from her unprompted. That's what made it so amazing to witness.
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Post by h on Oct 6, 2017 10:18:54 GMT -5
Its great when someone stands on your side.😀 It's good to have people on your side, but it's awesome when it's your refuser's lifelong best friend! Coming from that perspective makes it more meaningful than I can describe. I feel validated.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 6, 2017 10:36:06 GMT -5
Just curious...how did the sexless portion come up? It had to be brought up by you since there is no way your wife would have brought it up. Actually, I didn't bring it up. Her friend was talking about getting into a new relationship and sex came up. She knows from their past conversations that sex has been a struggle with us for a while and also knows that I have been faithful and stuck by my W through all of this despite not having much reason to. All this came from her unprompted. That's what made it so amazing to witness. Damn...that's like a cherry on top of the ice cream sundae. Not as good as sex, but moral victories count for something.
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Post by h on Oct 6, 2017 11:10:37 GMT -5
It's good to have someone in your corner. My most sincere congratulations. I wonder how this will play out, though. At the end of the day, even though sometimes it is better than nothing, sex under duress is not what you want. I don't think she'll ever have "sex under duress." It's not in her nature to do anything she doesn't want to or isn't in the mood for and that doesn't just apply to sex. I was just overwhelmed with happiness to see one of the only true friends that my W trusts, and whose opinion she values, come to my defense and very bluntly call her out.
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Post by h on Oct 6, 2017 11:17:31 GMT -5
Actually, I didn't bring it up. Her friend was talking about getting into a new relationship and sex came up. She knows from their past conversations that sex has been a struggle with us for a while and also knows that I have been faithful and stuck by my W through all of this despite not having much reason to. All this came from her unprompted. That's what made it so amazing to witness. Damn...that's like a cherry on top of the ice cream sundae. Not as good as sex, but moral victories count for something. Can't really tell if sex is better. It's been so long since I had good sex that I think the moral victory may actually be better for me right now. Instead of the ice cream sundae though, I'll take my cherries in an Old Fashioned, or maybe a Manhattan.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2017 13:02:31 GMT -5
So my W invited her best friend over for dinner this week. They were friends since high school and long before I knew either of them. I had to laugh because somehow the topic of sex came up and her friend started calling out my W right in front of me for not doing her "wifely duties". It was the greatest thing I have ever experienced. I then asked her to tell my W that again.... and again, and again, and again. W was not pleased by that comment. She basically told my W that she was married to me and it was her job and she better start taking care of me because I am a decent guy and didn't deserve to be treated like this. Her own best friend gets it. I still didn't get any intimate attention since that night but I went to sleep with a huge smile on my face that night and every night since. Had to share that. It's just too funny to keep to myself. 😂 My friend, I think you have all the validation you will ever need. When you decide it is time to get out, we will all be there to support you.
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Post by M2G on Oct 6, 2017 13:02:39 GMT -5
Frell me -one time one of our female friends came over complaining that her husband will only do it 3 - 4 times a WEEK. My refuser just told here "that sucks..."
I was fuckin' fuming inside.
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