Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2017 22:53:46 GMT -5
Hi folks,
For those of you that don't know me, I was the perennial "Stay for the Kids" poster boy. I joined the EP site back in 2010 and defended the "Stayers". And I figured I would stay until the bitter end.
Things changed. I have to defund the Gravy Train.
Last August I explained to my wife that things had to change.
In September I told the first friend what I was dealing with. By this spring, I had opened up to 5 close friends about it.
In May I started individual counseling. That pissed my wife off so thoroughly she moved out of our bedroom and started sleeping in my daughter's room.
In June my wife met with my pastor and explained to him why she hates me.
Throughout July things devolved further and rapidly.
In late July I interviewed attorneys and retained one.
This afternoon I discussed the plan with my wife. At 7:00 we discussed it with my two 16 year old kids. Son laughed and said he knew it. Daughter laughed nervously for a while, but eventually started crying and ran out. I was able to talk with her, address some of her fears, and then we went driving for two hours. Lots of good conversation about the father/daughter bond and our relationship going forward. I want to be a better dad.
This is bad. I'm ashamed of where I've driven this life. Hopefully something good will come of this. One of my daughter's fears was that mom or I would remarry. I assured her that mom won't. But I told her that I'd like to consider it some day. Not immediately, but some day.
So, I'm sad tonight. This sucks. In short order, I'll be a divorcee. Didn't think I'd ever have to say that.
@smartkat , I owe you a debt of gratitude for the years of dedicated research that resulted in the SmartKat Principle and all of its corollaries. It's logic is inescapable. It's simplicity, elegant. And it's application, universal. You, along with HusbandOfOne, convinced me to stop grousing about sexlessness.
DryCreek , your post a little over a year ago about your circumstance prompted me to write something about mine. When I read what I'd written, I was ashamed of myself. That, and you also wrote something about the nature of the sexless marriage that can only be understood by someone that's experienced it. I think I'll be wise to only consider relationships with women with this experience. I don't think others could understand.
csl , thank you so much for your wise counsel and personal attention to my sordid situation. I'll keep you posted. Shots over the bow were ineffective with my wife. I had to put a torpedo in her hull (Figuratively Speaking, of course). I'm not holding out much hope, but it seems were getting along better this evening than we have in years.
bballgirl , thank you for all the fun dating stories. I trust you haven't gone out with another guy with a recliner.
Caris , you're a beautiful woman and you know it. Please embrace that.
@elle , thank you for being the best friend a man could ask for. Your prayers sustain me.
Ok, let's see where this goes.
For those of you that don't know me, I was the perennial "Stay for the Kids" poster boy. I joined the EP site back in 2010 and defended the "Stayers". And I figured I would stay until the bitter end.
Things changed. I have to defund the Gravy Train.
Last August I explained to my wife that things had to change.
In September I told the first friend what I was dealing with. By this spring, I had opened up to 5 close friends about it.
In May I started individual counseling. That pissed my wife off so thoroughly she moved out of our bedroom and started sleeping in my daughter's room.
In June my wife met with my pastor and explained to him why she hates me.
Throughout July things devolved further and rapidly.
In late July I interviewed attorneys and retained one.
This afternoon I discussed the plan with my wife. At 7:00 we discussed it with my two 16 year old kids. Son laughed and said he knew it. Daughter laughed nervously for a while, but eventually started crying and ran out. I was able to talk with her, address some of her fears, and then we went driving for two hours. Lots of good conversation about the father/daughter bond and our relationship going forward. I want to be a better dad.
This is bad. I'm ashamed of where I've driven this life. Hopefully something good will come of this. One of my daughter's fears was that mom or I would remarry. I assured her that mom won't. But I told her that I'd like to consider it some day. Not immediately, but some day.
So, I'm sad tonight. This sucks. In short order, I'll be a divorcee. Didn't think I'd ever have to say that.
@smartkat , I owe you a debt of gratitude for the years of dedicated research that resulted in the SmartKat Principle and all of its corollaries. It's logic is inescapable. It's simplicity, elegant. And it's application, universal. You, along with HusbandOfOne, convinced me to stop grousing about sexlessness.
DryCreek , your post a little over a year ago about your circumstance prompted me to write something about mine. When I read what I'd written, I was ashamed of myself. That, and you also wrote something about the nature of the sexless marriage that can only be understood by someone that's experienced it. I think I'll be wise to only consider relationships with women with this experience. I don't think others could understand.
csl , thank you so much for your wise counsel and personal attention to my sordid situation. I'll keep you posted. Shots over the bow were ineffective with my wife. I had to put a torpedo in her hull (Figuratively Speaking, of course). I'm not holding out much hope, but it seems were getting along better this evening than we have in years.
bballgirl , thank you for all the fun dating stories. I trust you haven't gone out with another guy with a recliner.
Caris , you're a beautiful woman and you know it. Please embrace that.
@elle , thank you for being the best friend a man could ask for. Your prayers sustain me.
Ok, let's see where this goes.