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Post by tamara68 on Jul 30, 2017 5:43:24 GMT -5
McRoomMate I sincerely hope you don't give in to her begging and apologies. That is a classic form of emotional manipulation.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2017 6:46:06 GMT -5
@mcroommate, I'm sorry you're dealing with all this drama. This type of relationship isn't the norm and it's not healthy.
I understand wanting to be with someone, but I wonder if it would be beneficial for you to take a break from relationships for a while and look inside yourself. You know, take inventory, figure out what you want out of life, what's important to you, what you want your epitaph to say.
Absolutely don't go back to this relationship. Read up on Borderline personality disorder. It sounds like this woman is a textbook case of it. People with personality disorders can't have healthy relationships. And it's unsafe for you to stay. I hope she doesn't have access to your children.
Take care of yourself.
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Post by northstarmom on Jul 30, 2017 8:41:20 GMT -5
There also was no reason for you to give her money. She is a manipulative, violent, abusive woman. Her treating you kindly and sexing you sometimes didn't make up for her verbal, psychological and physical abuse of you. You didn't owe her money because she is unemployed. Love yourself enough to let her go. Love yourself enough to get counseling so you can heal from your sm and your relationship with her.
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Post by csl on Jul 30, 2017 10:12:37 GMT -5
There is a pattern here tell me if it looks familiar: .... My first wife and girlfriend before that were both physically abusive. My first wife even punched me in the face after an argument. I was laying down to sleep and bam - she hit me right in the nose. Um, do YOU see a pattern here? Maybe instead of continuing to jump into yet another abusive relationship, you should spend some time learning what there is about you that leads you into them?
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Post by solodriver on Jul 30, 2017 16:45:28 GMT -5
So does a knife stabbing you in your heart or slicing your neck! At least this way you will live to love again!
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Like I said I was an abused husband in my first marriage, but back then it wasn't recognized as such. I learned many years later and with the help of a very dear friend I learned. But even with all the physical pain I endured over 2 years from being slapped, stuff thrown at me, spit in my face, thrown to the ground a few times and the verbal abuse, my heart was still broken when we split. I endured it because I came from an abusive family and was treated that way by my parents growing up, so when the abuse started in my first marriage, I thought it was normal. I had no self esteem and thought "But she said she loves me!" Just like my parents did after an abusive episode growing up.
solodriver THANK-YOU !!! There is a pattern here tell me if it looks familiar: 1) Several days go by she is passionately in love with me, she looks at me like a cat purring in pure happiness. We kiss for hours she says she loves me about 30 times a day. We hold hands, we are always touching. 2) About once a week - she totally snaps - mostly she keeps thinking I am going to my ex-wife or because I am working too long and she is alone and feels neglected. 3) When her personality changes she is calm and distant - cold and then snaps into this hyteric rage - she has spit, thrown things, she finally hit me in the face and lunged to lock the door and the keys - we fought over the keys but I feared we could escalate so I let her go. 4) The next day she is very sorry and apologizes and says her jealousy is out of control. She is nowbegging me to come back and says she is so sad and sorry. We have been together for 7 months and this started about 3 months ago. My first wife and girlfriend before that were both physically abusive. My first wife even punched me in the face after an argument. I was laying down to sleep and bam - she hit me right in the nose. Oh yes very familiar,
My ex and I would have mad passionate lovemaking sessions. Then the next day it would be her arguing and fighting with me, and when she didn't agree with me she became verbally and physically abusive.
Then she would say she was so sorry for losing control and could I forgive her and tell me how much she loves me.
The pattern would repeat itself.
It went on like that for the entire 2 years that we were together married. We separated for 2 years before the divorce.
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Post by McRoomMate on Jul 30, 2017 17:55:01 GMT -5
solodriver THANK-YOU !!! There is a pattern here tell me if it looks familiar: 1) Several days go by she is passionately in love with me, she looks at me like a cat purring in pure happiness. We kiss for hours she says she loves me about 30 times a day. We hold hands, we are always touching. 2) About once a week - she totally snaps - mostly she keeps thinking I am going to my ex-wife or because I am working too long and she is alone and feels neglected. 3) When her personality changes she is calm and distant - cold and then snaps into this hyteric rage - she has spit, thrown things, she finally hit me in the face and lunged to lock the door and the keys - we fought over the keys but I feared we could escalate so I let her go. 4) The next day she is very sorry and apologizes and says her jealousy is out of control. She is nowbegging me to come back and says she is so sad and sorry. We have been together for 7 months and this started about 3 months ago. My first wife and girlfriend before that were both physically abusive. My first wife even punched me in the face after an argument. I was laying down to sleep and bam - she hit me right in the nose. Oh yes very familiar,
My ex and I would have mad passionate lovemaking sessions. Then the next day it would be her arguing and fighting with me, and when she didn't agree with me she became verbally and physically abusive.
Then she would say she was so sorry for losing control and could I forgive her and tell me how much she loves me.
The pattern would repeat itself.
It went on like that for the entire 2 years that we were together married. We separated for 2 years before the divorce.
solodriver Wow. Just freaking wow. I am freaked out. Unbelievably almost a perfect copy of the pattern I am in right now. Well was in as of 48 hours ago.
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Post by unmatched on Jul 30, 2017 19:01:19 GMT -5
solodriver THANK-YOU !!! There is a pattern here tell me if it looks familiar: 1) Several days go by she is passionately in love with me, she looks at me like a cat purring in pure happiness. We kiss for hours she says she loves me about 30 times a day. We hold hands, we are always touching. 2) About once a week - she totally snaps - mostly she keeps thinking I am going to my ex-wife or because I am working too long and she is alone and feels neglected. 3) When her personality changes she is calm and distant - cold and then snaps into this hyteric rage - she has spit, thrown things, she finally hit me in the face and lunged to lock the door and the keys - we fought over the keys but I feared we could escalate so I let her go. 4) The next day she is very sorry and apologizes and says her jealousy is out of control. She is nowbegging me to come back and says she is so sad and sorry. We have been together for 7 months and this started about 3 months ago. My first wife and girlfriend before that were both physically abusive. My first wife even punched me in the face after an argument. I was laying down to sleep and bam - she hit me right in the nose. Do you know why you keep ending up with psychotic women? What is it in you that finds yourself drawn to them? And them to you?
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laura
Junior Member
Posts: 72
Age Range: 31-35
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Post by laura on Jul 30, 2017 20:02:05 GMT -5
She is nowbegging me to come back and says she is so sad and sorry. How is she begging you? You didn't block her did you? Break the involvement. It doesn't matter who is saying what to whom or how she claims to feel. The only thing that matters for your mental health and safety is whether she's in your life at all. The rest is static. As long as she can reach you she can mess with your mind. She doesn't even deserve space in your brain so save that space for thinking about what you need to do for yourself. Change your number. Change your locks. Go to counseling. Everyone here has given you excellent advise.
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