jen
New Member
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Post by jen on Oct 1, 2016 3:25:54 GMT -5
Hi I'm Jen. My partner and I have been together for 7years. I have been in a sexless relationship for 5years. We are getting married next year. A lot of people think I'm crazy to be getting married to him still but I do love him and it's very complicated.
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Post by baza on Oct 1, 2016 4:01:28 GMT -5
It's entirely your call what you choose to do Sister Jen. - It might not be a bad idea to read a heap of stories in here before you make your final choice. It would give you a glimpse in to your potential future. - But it is your choice, as will be the consequences.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2016 4:33:06 GMT -5
Hi I'm Jen. My partner and I have been together for 7years. I have been in a sexless relationship for 5years. We are getting married next year. A lot of people think I'm crazy to be getting married to him still but I do love him and it's very complicated. Those must be some real complex complications for you to be doing this. A lot of people say you shouldn't...so either a lot of people know intimate details about your frustrated sexuality, or there are other serious issues with him. Are there other reasons in addition to sex not to marry him?
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Post by baza on Oct 1, 2016 6:51:57 GMT -5
Hi All, I've read some of the posts and lurked for a while without joining. I'm in a situation where I can not leave due to children and lack of income. I'm a stay home parent with the responsibility of raising and educating our children. Are you saying that if you could manage the kids / financial issues that you would leave ? - Seeing a lawyer in your jurisdiction would be a good idea then. In such a scenario you might be in line for spousal and parental support. Worth checking the facts out I'd suggest.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2016 8:12:28 GMT -5
I do not want to be apart from my children. They are still young. I will have to wait until they're finished with high school. My youngest is still in 6th grade. I feel trapped myself because I have no employment. My time is spent schooling my children and running a household. This gives me no time to pursue a career. I took an online course last year and this may be my best option. I'll need to get an advanced degree. I'm already in my late 40s and have been out of the job market since 2002. I've also thought about starting some type of business. I'm not complaining. Homeschooling has been one of the greatest things that I've done. . Education is important to me, so teaching my children about life, finances, and a love of learning has been worth it. The time that I've spent with them is something that I will always remember. Hi All, I've read some of the posts and lurked for a while without joining. I'm in a situation where I can not leave due to children and lack of income. I'm a stay home parent with the responsibility of raising and educating our children. Are you saying that if you could manage the kids / financial issues that you would leave ? - Seeing a lawyer in your jurisdiction would be a good idea then. In such a scenario you might be in line for spousal and parental support. Worth checking the facts out I'd suggest.
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Post by cagedtiger on Oct 1, 2016 10:13:31 GMT -5
Hi I'm Jen. My partner and I have been together for 7years. I have been in a sexless relationship for 5years. We are getting married next year. A lot of people think I'm crazy to be getting married to him still but I do love him and it's very complicated. Jen. Read my stories in the SM thread, please. I've been there. Not for nearly as long, but I saw the warning signs and thought it would get better after marriage. It hasn't. My wife has had a lot of issues on her end that she's barely started dealing with now, and only because she's being forced into it, kicking and screaming. We've been married 16 months, and we've been completely sexless for the last 9 months. I'm probably looking at separating around the first of the year. It's never just about a lack of sex; there's always more going on beneath the surface. I understand that you love him- I understand that it's complicated- it's the same way on both counts for me. But those reasons shouldn't obligate you to feel like you need to do anything. Please, stick around, read the stories, and we're all here to talk if you need.
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Post by TMD on Oct 1, 2016 11:06:45 GMT -5
Welcome @heraclitus. Welcome aboard.
I joined the original site in late 2012. I am still in my SM, but recently started a f/t job after being a SAHM for the past 9 years. It's entry level, I'm way overqualified, but I LOVE it! I'm so happy to be back in the working world, and my kids (12 and 8) have adjusted very well.
I also felt driven to be the SAHM who provided the little extras for my kids, although they attend school at school. At some point, my need to be free of the heavy, heavy weight of an intimacy-free marriage was greater than sacrificing for my kids. Today, the sacrifice looks different; I work with the goal to end my marriage in the early-ish new year.
Where am I going with this? Read here on this site. Please contribute. You will sort out what is your priority/choice as you see fit.
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Post by vitaminsea on Oct 1, 2016 13:08:03 GMT -5
Hi everyone. I'm new. I was on the EP group very briefly around the end of 2015. I can't remember my user name exactly but something to the tune of admistthechaos. Well, I went looking for the group again recently and realized the site was shut down awhile ago. But I'm glad I found my way here.... well, not really because that means I'm still in the grips of a sexless marriage. Anyways, a little background... we've been married 7 years, have 4 young kids. I quit my job 5 years ago to take on the role of sahm as thats what was required for my family to thrive at the time. I think our marriage has been sexless, at least by the clinical definition, all but the first year. Just gets worse and worse as it goes along. In the last 3 years, we've had sex 3 times- the last which was so awkward and unsatisfying don't even think it can be considered it. I confronted him august of last year (which is how i stumbled upon the original EP) group, but alas nothing has changed. He swears and swears he will do better... but his actions sadly never align.... sigh.... well, look forward to interacting in the group.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2016 19:02:23 GMT -5
Hi tulymadlydeeply,
Thank you for the welcome.
This website has already become an encouragement for me. I look forward to contributing and hopefully growing with everyone on here.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2016 20:13:51 GMT -5
Hi everyone. I'm new. I was on the EP group very briefly around the end of 2015. I can't remember my user name exactly but something to the tune of admistthechaos. Well, I went looking for the group again recently and realized the site was shut down awhile ago. But I'm glad I found my way here.... well, not really because that means I'm still in the grips of a sexless marriage. Anyways, a little background... we've been married 7 years, have 4 young kids. I quit my job 5 years ago to take on the role of sahm as thats what was required for my family to thrive at the time. I think our marriage has been sexless, at least by the clinical definition, all but the first year. Just gets worse and worse as it goes along. In the last 3 years, we've had sex 3 times- the last which was so awkward and unsatisfying don't even think it can be considered it. I confronted him august of last year (which is how i stumbled upon the original EP) group, but alas nothing has changed. He swears and swears he will do better... but his actions sadly never align.... sigh.... well, look forward to interacting in the group. Lies. He swears he will do better, then he doesn't. Lies. If you say you're going to do something, you do it. Besides, how good will sex ever be with someone who has to try to want it?
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Post by DryCreek on Oct 2, 2016 0:23:58 GMT -5
Hi, jd. You mentioned learning about this site from an article - can you offer a link? I'd be curious to read what they say about the topic.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2016 13:21:24 GMT -5
Hi everyone. I'm new. I was on the EP group very briefly around the end of 2015. I can't remember my user name exactly but something to the tune of admistthechaos. Well, I went looking for the group again recently and realized the site was shut down awhile ago. But I'm glad I found my way here.... well, not really because that means I'm still in the grips of a sexless marriage. Anyways, a little background... we've been married 7 years, have 4 young kids. I quit my job 5 years ago to take on the role of sahm as thats what was required for my family to thrive at the time. I think our marriage has been sexless, at least by the clinical definition, all but the first year. Just gets worse and worse as it goes along. In the last 3 years, we've had sex 3 times- the last which was so awkward and unsatisfying don't even think it can be considered it. I confronted him august of last year (which is how i stumbled upon the original EP) group, but alas nothing has changed. He swears and swears he will do better... but his actions sadly never align.... sigh.... well, look forward to interacting in the group. Welcome back to the group. I'm new here but have already found it to be a comfortable place. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. No one should have to feel like this. Life is short.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2016 18:00:02 GMT -5
@heraclitus - great name! It shows you are a thinker. jen - I will not tell you what you should do. But I will say this: the period before marriage is often the sweetest, most romantic, most sexual time that a couple has. After marriage - and especially after children - life has a way of losing the magic and the mischief. Just think about it. TMD - good on you, for the job! I don't remember if you told me before or not. That is excellent news!
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Post by TMD on Oct 3, 2016 0:08:03 GMT -5
@smartkat -new job is a month old now. Like the people and potential for opportunity is good. It's also nice to have a salary again!
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Post by becca on Oct 3, 2016 14:18:05 GMT -5
Hi everyone. I'm new. I was on the EP group very briefly around the end of 2015. I can't remember my user name exactly but something to the tune of admistthechaos. Well, I went looking for the group again recently and realized the site was shut down awhile ago. But I'm glad I found my way here.... well, not really because that means I'm still in the grips of a sexless marriage. Anyways, a little background... we've been married 7 years, have 4 young kids. I quit my job 5 years ago to take on the role of sahm as thats what was required for my family to thrive at the time. I think our marriage has been sexless, at least by the clinical definition, all but the first year. Just gets worse and worse as it goes along. In the last 3 years, we've had sex 3 times- the last which was so awkward and unsatisfying don't even think it can be considered it. I confronted him august of last year (which is how i stumbled upon the original EP) group, but alas nothing has changed. He swears and swears he will do better... but his actions sadly never align.... sigh.... well, look forward to interacting in the group. Welcome! Sorry you find yourself here but you are with people that understand. Always follow the actions and not the words. Odds are he won't be changing so you have to decide what you can live with and that various from person to person. I am still trying to figure that out as well. Glad you found the forum.
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