ScottDinTN, does your W have an income now and an income in the future. Some members that lived in some not too friendly states, where the man's income was larger than the woman's income, the state granted spousal support of various amounts to the lower earner because his or her future income was lower than thehigher earner's income.
My point is, the kids are older and it might be time for the W to up her education so her future earnings would be closer to yours. This is all speculation on my part because I don't know what your W's earning potential is now or in the future.
In my state the lower earner can be awarded 4 years of spousal support to improve their future earnings by going to college or some other path to boost their earnings.
Your $100 a month is legally half hers in most states. Even so half the amount you save would help you and her when the time comes to separate.
Any money you or her spend on potential affair partners usually needs to be repaid to the joint marital asset funds. Not that you or her have any affair partners, ihis is just money talk so you can better plan if it happens. Unfortunately one spouse can have an expensive hobby and that is money out the window. In most states there is no such thing as your debts and her debts unless you two agree on who pays what. This is just FYI and as they say, (YMMV) your mileage may vary.
She makes a little more than me and is up for a possible promotion. So, maybe I'll end up getting spousal support! :-)
A case I know about locally, the W went through medical school while the H worked. When the W got a job, the H wanted to stay home. She divorced him. He got $nn dollars a month from her until he finished his college degree. Because her earning potential was so much higher than his, she had to pay $2K a month child support and they each had 50%/equal time of physical custody.
OK the money differences might not be a problem in your case so one less thing to worry about for now.
On another note, some couples get a legal separation before a divorce. That way her bills are hers and your bills are your responsibility.
I know the emotional stuff is difficult and I don't have much advice about how to make it less painful other than start doing more things you like doing that does not include your W. That is what I am doing and some other posters have done.
Greetings ScottDinTN from another basement dweller. 🏡 I hope your cellar is better waterproofed than mine. 🙄
So, you have your own apartment too? Sorry yours isn't so waterproof.
I've been slowly improving my "apartment". When I moved down here, I didn't want to move away from the kids and not see them, so I moved the TV and Nintendo down here as well. Made it our entertainment room (Man Cave) but I have a bed here too. Less privacy but I see the kids more than it just being my bedroom.
I've worked on insulating the walls, put in two doors (there were none for this room to start), ran some new electrical outlets, now I'm working on putting in a small bathroom. My plan is that eventually I will never have to go upstairs unless I want to. Now I have to for kitchen and a shower. I chose this room because it has its own exterior door so eventually it could be a completely separate apartment. It feels good to work on something of my own.
I'm a fan of simple living so I've been doing a lot of downsizing. I've gone thru every single item I own and have thrown out a lot. Now all my belongings fit in one room (except for my tools in the garage). Will make things easier for the eventual move but I like a decluttered life.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
misssunnybunny: Thanks for the update; just hope she is happy
Sept 17, 2019 19:49:55 GMT -5
workingonit: Elkclan2 my son's gerbil escaped at the same time as his pet snake. I did not think it was a coincidence!
Sept 17, 2019 20:40:26 GMT -5
hopingforachange: Wow, is been forever since I read the shoutbox.
Sept 17, 2019 21:33:01 GMT -5
hopingforachange: I need to set up another Skype session.
Sept 17, 2019 21:33:16 GMT -5
sme935: Not quite sure if anyone reads it but if there is a female in the Chicago area (40-60 years old) who is interested in chatting with me drop me a message or look at my profile for messenger screenname;
Sept 19, 2019 9:09:33 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Another Skype session would be great!
Sept 21, 2019 10:51:02 GMT -5
elkclan2: Gerbil was recaptured unharmed. Turns out my cat is good at opening gerbil cages, but not good at catching gerbils.
Sept 27, 2019 8:10:33 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Yay! Glad to hear the critter is okay.
Sept 28, 2019 20:44:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: elkclan2....don't feed cat for a couple days, cat will become very proficient at catching gerbil
Sept 29, 2019 14:15:01 GMT -5
javba: Hi folks been gone a minute [several minutes actually] What is the skype we're referencing?
Oct 1, 2019 8:55:44 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: javba, once in a while someone sets up a group Skype chat, so we can see each other and chat. I have a Skype account with my user name from here for them. One hasn't happened in a long time...
Oct 6, 2019 9:55:29 GMT -5
wewbwb: I'm pretty sure that it was seeing my ass.
Oct 6, 2019 15:21:29 GMT -5
petrushka: you breed donkeys?
Oct 10, 2019 6:05:03 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday shamwow….
Oct 11, 2019 9:02:53 GMT -5
worksforme2: I knew it was going to happen..the seasons here have jumped from summer to almost winter..months of hot, dry days and nights then a week later it is rain and temps in the low 40's at night...there goes my regressing effort this year
Oct 17, 2019 7:24:46 GMT -5
worksforme2: whoops..I meant re-grassing...I don't need to do any regressing...
Oct 17, 2019 11:39:34 GMT -5
donp: Help, No sex for 1 year. I think I have lost my mind.
Oct 17, 2019 13:21:05 GMT -5
javba: Agree donp - why would you NOT lose your mind, Rub one out - it helps for about 12 hours :-)
Oct 17, 2019 14:06:18 GMT -5
worksforme2: donp,...you think you have lost your mind... so you aren't positive... think about it some more and then let us know what you decide...
Oct 17, 2019 14:22:10 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: Hello all, just sending out a message to anyone that I used to be friends with back in the days of EP. I haven't been on here since 2016. Mostly because I seem to have great difficulty understanding how to work things on this site.
Oct 21, 2019 9:37:54 GMT -5