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Post by itsjustus on May 20, 2016 16:47:02 GMT -5
Hello everyone. I found this website after searching online for support. I had a session with my therapist this morning and was steered in the direction that she always steers me, to find "my half" of this problem. I'm so tired of trying to figure out what I'm doing to contribute, even if it's only half. I just need some support now. My heart is torn up and I'm so exhausted. That is just wrong for a therapist to always say you need to find your "half" of any problem. What if the problem is all your's? Or...as it sounds like in your case...all his? There is no "half", unless she were to mean your half of the problem is accepting his half of being the problem. Regardless, I can hear the weariness in your words. The sense of hopelessness that makes you figuratively drag your feet when you walk. It is so tiring to be the only one truly looking for a solution, to what you are starting to think is an un-solvable problem. Welcome to this safe place, where you can rest, tell your story to people who know and understand, and fill up your tank a little. I hope you find some happiness, here, and in your life.
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Post by daveissexless on May 20, 2016 22:37:34 GMT -5
Hi all I am davemavkey from EP! I would love to connect and chat with others! I just found am this site and I am only 5 min old here... Lol hope to meet and chat and get to know all of you cool people here who are going thru the same things!!
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Post by SoloSenior on May 21, 2016 0:34:49 GMT -5
Hi All,
ex EP member 'johninoz'.
An old codger that has not had sex with anything other than my right hand and a sloppy, baby oil soaked clear plastic sleeve, for over 23 years. Wife is 100% menopausal and also 100% supportive of my sexual needs. Usually to porn here at the computer.
Had a fantastic sex life from marriage at age 21 to the end of it all at age 54.
Love porn, and the occasional trip to a porn theater to be and be seen.
SS
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Post by s1885 on May 21, 2016 10:05:36 GMT -5
Hi there, found this site through SW. Been in an almost sexless marriage for about four years, been married longer though. If we do have sex I have to initiate it and work her up and be ready to perform. She gets plenty of foreplay I can't remember the last time I had that treat! I still love her but it is more like really good friends! I'm pleased I found this site and I'm happy to chat any time!
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Post by nyartgal on May 21, 2016 21:24:01 GMT -5
Omg! I just went to EP and was shocked to see it shut down. This is the same NYartgal who has been living in Opposite Land for some years now---in fact I think I introduced the term to the group way back in 2012 when I discovered its existence! I had to follow you guys here and take this opportunity to check in and say hi to all the old ILIASM peeps. Not sure who is here, but greetings and I hope all of you are doing well and progressing towards your idea of a happy outcome to your SM. UPDATE: Senor Sexy and I are expecting our second baby in August, this one a boy! It was a very rough 2015 with lots of unexpected challenges on many fronts including the sudden death of my beloved father. So far 2016 is trending better and I am feeling more hopeful in general. Through it all my husband has been an amazingly supportive partner in every conceivable way, and yes, we are still having great and passionate sex though not three times a day with a toddler and another on the way. But more importantly, we still feel great passion for each other even when we don't always have the energy to act on it, and the rest of our relationship and connection only grows deeper and better with each day. Just proves that YES, good marriages DO exist, even with babies and problems and drama by the ton! No one has to suffer in a sexless marriage or feel hopeless that there is nothing better out there. I guarantee you, THERE IS. Not sure how often I'll be able to check in here but I hope I can stay connected to the community---sending big hugs to all the old regulars I knew on EP and luck and strength to those I don't yet know. Please stay in touch! All best, NY Art Gal
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Post by notsocomplex on May 22, 2016 0:22:32 GMT -5
Hey all
So, the refuge I found in EP is no more. *sigh* There was so much encouragement in those replies. I turned away from it when my SO came down with some health issues, but lately the mantra "you're not living right now, he won't touch you even if he gets healthy again, only a-holes step out on their sm when the refuser is ill" and another "no sex, that's you're first world problem?" Grind through my head.
Baz would say something wise here. I'd gratefully read about someone in the same boat.
I'm 35 but I feel 85. I work, hard. I sleep hard and cling to dreams of being intimate with a blurry memory of past lovers. I get angry easily. The idea of changing my life seems exhausting to the point if impossible. I figured out how to use my shower head, and taking care of myself now feels like brushing my teeth. Pleasant but devoid of anything intimate.
I hope you cane here to hash this out, I hope we chat and share and inspire each other to value ourselves and our short lives a little more.
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Post by SweepyBear on May 22, 2016 10:07:16 GMT -5
Welcome to this little Oasis of ne'er do wells and cutpurses pull up a seat, pour a beverage annnnnd relax
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Post by itsjustus on May 22, 2016 13:57:48 GMT -5
Omg! I just went to EP and was shocked to see it shut down. This is the same NYartgal who has been living in Opposite Land for some years now---in fact I think I introduced the term to the group way back in 2012 when I discovered its existence! I had to follow you guys here and take this opportunity to check in and say hi to all the old ILIASM peeps. Not sure who is here, but greetings and I hope all of you are doing well and progressing towards your idea of a happy outcome to your SM. UPDATE: Senor Sexy and I are expecting our second baby in August, this one a boy! It was a very rough 2015 with lots of unexpected challenges on many fronts including the sudden death of my beloved father. So far 2016 is trending better and I am feeling more hopeful in general. Through it all my husband has been an amazingly supportive partner in every conceivable way, and yes, we are still having great and passionate sex though not three times a day with a toddler and another on the way. But more importantly, we still feel great passion for each other even when we don't always have the energy to act on it, and the rest of our relationship and connection only grows deeper and better with each day. Just proves that YES, good marriages DO exist, even with babies and problems and drama by the ton! No one has to suffer in a sexless marriage or feel hopeless that there is nothing better out there. I guarantee you, THERE IS. Not sure how often I'll be able to check in here but I hope I can stay connected to the community---sending big hugs to all the old regulars I knew on EP and luck and strength to those I don't yet know. Please stay in touch! All best, NY Art Gal HI!!! I'm so happy you found this small island of EP ILIASM refugees, and I guess unfortunately, a growing number of new people. El Senior Sexy and you are expecting again?!?!? Fantastic!! Following you and your wild Spanish senioron EP really gave me such a different perspective on what was possible, and what I would want my normal to be. I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your father last year, but I am very pleased to hear you say how *you* feel about your husband being amazingly supportive thru all of last years trials. There was a time when you did not have that, in fact, like me, the opposite of that. Dont spend too much time coming here. You've got a whole new lease on life, and we sure don't want El Capitan feeling neglected! (like that would even happen...lol) Take care!! IJU
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2016 15:40:55 GMT -5
Omg! I just went to EP and was shocked to see it shut down. This is the same NYartgal who has been living in Opposite Land for some years now---in fact I think I introduced the term to the group way back in 2012 when I discovered its existence! I had to follow you guys here and take this opportunity to check in and say hi to all the old ILIASM peeps. Not sure who is here, but greetings and I hope all of you are doing well and progressing towards your idea of a happy outcome to your SM. UPDATE: Senor Sexy and I are expecting our second baby in August, this one a boy! It was a very rough 2015 with lots of unexpected challenges on many fronts including the sudden death of my beloved father. So far 2016 is trending better and I am feeling more hopeful in general. Through it all my husband has been an amazingly supportive partner in every conceivable way, and yes, we are still having great and passionate sex though not three times a day with a toddler and another on the way. But more importantly, we still feel great passion for each other even when we don't always have the energy to act on it, and the rest of our relationship and connection only grows deeper and better with each day. Just proves that YES, good marriages DO exist, even with babies and problems and drama by the ton! No one has to suffer in a sexless marriage or feel hopeless that there is nothing better out there. I guarantee you, THERE IS. Not sure how often I'll be able to check in here but I hope I can stay connected to the community---sending big hugs to all the old regulars I knew on EP and luck and strength to those I don't yet know. Please stay in touch! All best, NY Art Gal OMG! I can't tell you how glad I am to see you here, nyartgal. Through all the pain I've gone through, and the witnessing of other people's pain in ILIASM, I held fast to your story (and Baz and Enna's, and Unjusted and SleeplessKnight.) You guys gave me hope. I'm out of the SM now, and have not yet found a partner. But I haven't given up, anyway. Mainly because of people like you, who show that it CAN happen.
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2016 15:42:09 GMT -5
Welcome to this little Oasis of ne'er do wells and cutpurses pull up a seat, pour a beverage annnnnd relax Ooh, you're using a word I love. Ne'er-do-well!
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 7:58:32 GMT -5
HI everyone! I am so glad I found this site through google.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 9:00:08 GMT -5
HI everyone! I am so glad I found this site through google. Welcome! You're among fellow members of the SM club. Lots of great people, discussions, support and laughs here. Jump on in!
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Post by petrushka on May 24, 2016 9:18:55 GMT -5
Hi Annie, welcome to the "wish I wasn't here" club. Membership is free, this month only!
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 9:46:31 GMT -5
Thank you Z and Petrushka! I am not even sure where to start with my story. I've been reading a few of the posts and find myself shaking my head in agreement. I hate being in a SM, but not sure if I can leave anytime soon. He has moved me away from our hometown near Chicago to NY for his job/promotion. I had to give up my amazing job, family and friends to sit alone with our young son in a new city while he travels most of the week for his job. Feeling hopeless, sad, lonenly...how does a hard working go getter like me wind up like this???
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 9:49:37 GMT -5
Thank you Z and Petrushka! I am not even sure where to start with my story. I've been reading a few of the posts and find myself shaking my head in agreement. I hate being in a SM, but not sure if I can leave anytime soon. He has moved me away from our hometown near Chicago to NY for his job/promotion. I had to give up my amazing job, family and friends to sit alone with our young son in a new city while he travels most of the week for his job. Feeling hopeless, sad, lonenly...how does a hard working go getter like me wind up like this??? You know how you got there. Maybe the question is how do you deal with it. One quick suggestion is to immediately get up and go get it in NY. Are you in the city (NYC)? I'd think an energetic woman would totally crank forth there.
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