JonDoe , Although the sadness isn't fun, it's real and understandable why you feel the way you do. Embrace it for what it is but just don't let it drag you down into the murky depths of despair. I went through a similar time when I "took off the mask" and allowed myself to feel again. There were times I wanted to go back to the numbness just so I could shake the sadness. If you are thinking it is the end of your marriage, well, that is sad and deserves a little mourning time. Just allow yourself that. You have the right idea. Don't try to bury it or suppress it but instead feel it and move through it. Thinking about you.
I summarize it this way: the best thing to do with your feelings is... allow yourself to feel them. Even deep sadness.
If this is something that gets you to a decision point (as to "what's next" in your life), great.
Now, if your deep sadness is so intense/long lasting that it interferes with daily life (like work), then it is time to see a therapist if you are not already. If it continues, consider seeing a psychiatrist to consider if meds are needed. If it comes to that point, so be it. (It is not a failure of any sort!)
It's so easy to get entrenched in living in this kind of marriage. We can make excuses and just hope it gets better but those feelings of sadness keep coming back. Somehow we have to allow ourselves the energy and focus to take small steps towards a better life for ourselves. Resist blaming yourself that it's taken years. You were trying to make it work. And then it's so easy to get stuck. Now is the time for putting yourself first. I'm glad you're not ignoring your feelings.
This is exactly what happened to me. But after 20 years with no changes, hope left. I now am working on myself and my exit plan. And I have hope for brighter days ahead. It certaintly won't get any worse. I've done that.
It’s hard to continue to love someone romantically who doesn’t love you back in the way you need to feel like a whole person.
frednsa: i saw something on the wedding night (in the 60's) should have ended it during the honeymoon. i was played so perfectly. she is so wonderful in almost every other way, so...still wondering...thinking frigidity is a real thing and untreatable
Aug 29, 2019 12:07:04 GMT -5
worksforme2: Tomorrow is Labor Day 2019, no big plans for the day....thinking seriously of going commando
Sept 1, 2019 11:37:07 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey ironhamster...I just saw your picture on another site and your head wasn't covered. You actually look better without the bandana....
Sept 2, 2019 11:54:55 GMT -5
javba: Dunno Iron Hamster - I have not seen your other photo - I think you ROCK anyways.
Sept 4, 2019 10:11:42 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happened across Tamara68 on another site, messaged her but she didn't respond...
Sept 15, 2019 13:13:02 GMT -5
elkclan2: Dealing with an escaped gerbil. Fun times.
Sept 16, 2019 13:01:50 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: 1. Hope tamara is doing well. 2. Elkclan2, did you catch the critter???
Sept 17, 2019 15:40:05 GMT -5
worksforme2: Tamara answered me yesterday. She and her partner are moving into a house next week. It's probably about as good as is possible. She didn't comment on the situation with her daughter.
Sept 17, 2019 17:46:02 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Thanks for the update; just hope she is happy
Sept 17, 2019 19:49:55 GMT -5
workingonit: Elkclan2 my son's gerbil escaped at the same time as his pet snake. I did not think it was a coincidence!
Sept 17, 2019 20:40:26 GMT -5
hopingforachange: Wow, is been forever since I read the shoutbox.
Sept 17, 2019 21:33:01 GMT -5
hopingforachange: I need to set up another Skype session.
Sept 17, 2019 21:33:16 GMT -5
sme935: Not quite sure if anyone reads it but if there is a female in the Chicago area (40-60 years old) who is interested in chatting with me drop me a message or look at my profile for messenger screenname;
Sept 19, 2019 9:09:33 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Another Skype session would be great!
Sept 21, 2019 10:51:02 GMT -5