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Post by Dan on Nov 18, 2016 9:07:26 GMT -5
JonDoe , Although the sadness isn't fun, it's real and understandable why you feel the way you do. Embrace it for what it is but just don't let it drag you down into the murky depths of despair. I went through a similar time when I "took off the mask" and allowed myself to feel again. There were times I wanted to go back to the numbness just so I could shake the sadness. If you are thinking it is the end of your marriage, well, that is sad and deserves a little mourning time. Just allow yourself that. You have the right idea. Don't try to bury it or suppress it but instead feel it and move through it. Thinking about you. ^^^^^^ This! I summarize it this way: the best thing to do with your feelings is... allow yourself to feel them. Even deep sadness. If this is something that gets you to a decision point (as to "what's next" in your life), great. Now, if your deep sadness is so intense/long lasting that it interferes with daily life (like work), then it is time to see a therapist if you are not already. If it continues, consider seeing a psychiatrist to consider if meds are needed. If it comes to that point, so be it. (It is not a failure of any sort!)
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Post by solodriver on Sept 2, 2019 22:20:32 GMT -5
It's so easy to get entrenched in living in this kind of marriage. We can make excuses and just hope it gets better but those feelings of sadness keep coming back. Somehow we have to allow ourselves the energy and focus to take small steps towards a better life for ourselves. Resist blaming yourself that it's taken years. You were trying to make it work. And then it's so easy to get stuck. Now is the time for putting yourself first. I'm glad you're not ignoring your feelings. This is exactly what happened to me. But after 20 years with no changes, hope left. I now am working on myself and my exit plan. And I have hope for brighter days ahead. It certaintly won't get any worse. I've done that.
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