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Post by northstarmom on Sept 4, 2019 21:32:39 GMT -5
One attempt and that was successful.
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Post by Apocrypha on Sept 5, 2019 9:28:11 GMT -5
The first real attempt was after a failed reconciliation, about a year or more following Mrs Apocrypha's revelation of her affair. It took that long to claw back to zero, not helped by the fact that she pined for him. The trigger was a conversation I had in couples counselling when I noted that while we were kind to each other, sex hadn't appeared and we were still effectively celibate. We lawyered up and opening interviews were done. Two weeks later, I asked her if she was done with having sex forever, and relieved. She responded by pitching opening the relationship.At the time, I would say that this marked the end of that relationship, and started a new one but with the same person. The rules and the way we went about things was quite different.
The second attempt was a few years later when it became apparent that the open relationship wasn't working, due to her constant passive aggressive sabotage, and also, yet again, a return to celibacy. At the brink, we returned to therapy but with a different counselor.
The third attempt was maybe six months later or less, after a save the marriage family vacation shortly followed by a family weekend getaway. Celibacy remained, and contempt. The trigger was me watching a 50-something couple out on a date and just being casually "into each other". We agreed to split that night, made plans on how to do that in the short and mid term, and then enacted those plans.
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