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Post by choosinghappy on Feb 14, 2018 14:31:57 GMT -5
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Post by WindSister on Feb 14, 2018 14:59:39 GMT -5
Your own "T-Minus" has begun, you are still in the thick of it - emotions, games, fear of the unknown -- but you have done your homework, you are definitely prepared as the others have stated. Keep on keeping on! Good stuff ahead.
(GREAT avatar change, by the way)
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 26, 2018 11:48:39 GMT -5
Another fun day in "lawyerville"!!
One week to go. My attorney is having to send email after email to my W's attorney, reminding them of ALL the unanswered responses to counter proposals, reviewing of trial exhibits, meetings that still haven't taken place, review of minor changes to parenting plans, requests that are "magically" appearing now, that where never made with the last 3 previous attorneys,etc...
Then come false allegations of "neglect" and "viciously trying to destroy credit" WTF? ( It's like dealing with another narc) My attorney calmly has to correct my W's attorney, explaining to her that any such things would also destroy my credit too. While questioning the attorneys logic and demeanor at the same time.
Lastly my FIL has been subpoenaed to be in court. 11 yrs of living with our family, he has A LOT to testify to. I reminded him today, "court is next Mon. You need to be there." He responds , " with these oxygen tanks I ain't goin', and I have nothing to add to the case, I'm staying out of it". ( he still manages to go places with his oxygen tank) My W was given weeks of ample time to respond and make preparations for his health, she has yet to respond at all. He's getting another subpoena. Sadly it won't surprise me if he doesn't show up and the law will do nothing about it. It's only on paper, with no teeth.
Just some examples of "the fun", and the CRAZY that my CRAZY brings to the table!
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Post by greatcoastal on Mar 2, 2018 21:53:00 GMT -5
Thanks DryCreek@ for your reply on the other thread " GC, bear this in mind...if she's trying to negotiate a settlement at the last minute, its *only* because she's afraid of what the judge will decide."
That is a very intelligent ,logical approach, however....sigh....this is what I am being told the last few days, " this judge is the worst possible judge you could have gotten! She has a reputation for awarding zero alimony! Your W. attorney knows that and is playing that to the max. (then my attorney gives me examples after example of the difference between the two judges)
It's a roll of the dice. I am going to court and rolling the dice.
Here's one thing I do have to think about and consider, I've been stay at home dad 14 yrs, homeschooler, and un-employed. I will most likely only get a minimum wage job. $8.50 an hour. lets say my alimony was $2000. a month. The moment I get a higher paying job, ( $12.50 to $15.00 per hr.) my EX will immediately take it back to court. Most likely my alimony will be cut in half.
I believe my odds of getting the higher paying job are very good. So if this judge is only going to award me $1000. a month alimony, I will take it, knowing that it can most likely will not be reduced any further if I get a higher paying job. I hope that makes sense?
I can stew for days, knowing that the other judge would have easily, guaranteed... given me $2500 to $3000. a month in alimony! I cant change my court date, unless I land in the hospital. It's not going to happen. That really sucks doesn't it? Same justice system ,same facts, same case, but it all depends on what judge you end up with! Who knew? (well...attorneys know this stuff!)
Life goes on. I'm still doing quite well. There is the other houses that I will continue to rent and they will be paid in full. That helps me, come time to apply for a loan. it gets twisted and complicated. But I will have such a huge burden removed from my life, and a new outlook for the rest of the family, it's all worth it!!
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Post by DryCreek on Mar 2, 2018 22:01:00 GMT -5
greatcoastal, it's enough to give a guy an anxiety attack. <wink, nudge> Best of luck!
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Post by hopingforachange on Mar 5, 2018 7:43:54 GMT -5
greatcoastal, it's enough to give a guy an anxiety attack. <wink, nudge> Best of luck! Sounds like he find his excuse to use to get into the hospital.😁
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Post by ted on Mar 5, 2018 12:40:39 GMT -5
Thinking of you today, greatcoastal. I'm hoping for the best.
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Post by greatcoastal on Mar 5, 2018 12:46:50 GMT -5
I'm DIVORCED !!!
It's official! I pretty much got what I would have settled for from the beginning.
Sadly my now Ex had to drag it through 20 months , and 5 of her own attorneys!
The same things that could have been settled with a collaborative law, ended up being settled the day before trial, and a minute before ,outside the judges chambers.
That is what it is like dealing with a manipulative controller!
Anyways.... Now comes the new journey of getting a loan, raising the rent on one of my tenants, buying a house, dividing our junk in the house, moving, school, and /or finding a new job. (I've got 90 days- that's what we ended up going to the judge over. My ex wanted it to be 30 days. Fortunately for me the judge is in the middle of trying to sell a house, so she knew the reality of it all)
And finally , legally, officially, being single again!!
A big heart felt THANK YOU to all of you who have been there through my 2 yr. journey!
THANK YOU for being there for me!!!
I hope I was able to give back in return!
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Post by tamara68 on Mar 5, 2018 12:52:29 GMT -5
Congratulations! Time to focus on your new life and on freedom!
Cheers to you!
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Post by bballgirl on Mar 5, 2018 12:53:37 GMT -5
Congrats! Enjoy your new life!
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Post by ted on Mar 5, 2018 13:03:12 GMT -5
Congratulations, you made it! I'm glad there were no surprises today. What a journey. Thanks for sharing it; it's an honor to know you and your story. I'm heavy-hearted and excited at the same time; something died and something was born. I raise my glass to you and your future!
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Post by WindSister on Mar 5, 2018 13:14:48 GMT -5
Turn the page to a new chapter. May you enjoy the journey as you write your new future!!
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Post by northstarmom on Mar 5, 2018 15:14:33 GMT -5
Welcome to Opposite Land!!!!
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Post by greatcoastal on Mar 5, 2018 15:56:01 GMT -5
Thinking of you today, greatcoastal . I'm hoping for the best. Thank you! It was over in a half an hour (minus the 20 months-- a minor detail!!) I know it's a small thing but i look at all the junk in the house and think about how much of it I wont need or miss. (kind of like the SM) I want to go back to my original self when I was content with a "less is more" approach.
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Post by JMX on Mar 5, 2018 16:23:40 GMT -5
Congrats! It’s about time
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