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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 13, 2017 14:24:29 GMT -5
Talk to your lawyer. She should not be able to close/cancel joint accounts on her own, that doesn't seem right. Good luck, sounds like this one's going to be tricky to leave. Today is a one year anniversary.... a very strange one at that. A year ago that I said "I am ending our marriage". Oddly enough ,lately I have discovered all kinds of things. When our joint accounts are down to virtually nothing and my W. continues to draw funds, and their are penalties withdrawn from rental property income, I can just close those joint accounts. When my 16 yr old is threatened by his mom that he can't have college classes (the same ones she has encouraged him to take for years) because she can't afford insurance, or she can't afford gas, or car repair, etc.... but refuses to tell or show any truth about the costs and the whereabouts of all the money. It's back to my attorney telling her attorney to inform her of her legal responsibilities. Then, even worse, my son is now devastated that he is going to have to sell his car, fail his junior year, and have to pay thousands more for these classes later when now they are free. All because of my W's responsibility to pay $40 a week for his insurance. I try to calm him and need to talk to the attorney, again! Her alibi? "I can't afford it". That may fly for my teens but not for me, my attorney, her attorney, and a judge. Sick....isn't it. She also loves to blame everything on me and the "divorce". She claims the divorce came out of no-where........if it wasn't so sick it would be comical. Sadly that's what it has taken when dealing with a manipulative controller. You can believe my teens have learned a lot about their parents in this year.
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 13, 2017 14:33:03 GMT -5
I will also add that this "insurance" fiasco is happening because more and more control is being taken from my W. My teens are questioning so much of what she does, and avoiding her more and more. Instead they come to me. For now I still have to rely on the attorney.
Their is the hope of having control over my own finances, and a decent steady amount of my STBX's fair share of paying for every day, expected expenses of having 9 people live in one family.
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 13, 2017 17:55:31 GMT -5
greatcoastal, your court date got postponed some 6-8 weeks ago due to the judge having surgery. Surely you've got a new date and the end is near?
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 15, 2017 12:14:37 GMT -5
greatcoastal , your court date got postponed some 6-8 weeks ago due to the judge having surgery. Surely you've got a new date and the end is near? Thank you greatly for keeping up with me!! I spoke with my attorney, she is still waiting for answers from subpoenas. There have been subpoenas in the past. The more dirt that comes up the more facts need to be proven.After telling her my W's refusal to pay our sons auto insurance, my son having to go to the doctor about his stomach pains, the doctor saying it's from stress and anxiety, my other daughter not getting her physical therapy for over a month, blaming it all on me because of the divorce. my attorney is going to put our name on the roster. No more talk about mediation!!!! She also asks me, and has repeatedly, "do you want full custody of the children?" Like she thinks I could easily attain it. That's an emotional, difficult, heavy hearted decision to have to make.
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Post by JMX on Aug 15, 2017 21:40:19 GMT -5
You should have taken that bitch to court months ago.
I don't agree with how you have handled this with your children, although, I have to admit I would be similarly salty (she sounds terrible) - but I can imagine it is for a reason - and, I get it.
Please fuck her up in court!!! I would love to see the retelling of it. I just hope she will lay down and take it. 😂
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 5, 2017 7:59:52 GMT -5
Today is my 25th wedding anniversary! Yea!! (NOT!)
Looking back on my last 3 or 4 anniversaries, I most likely would have seen my wife have breakfast with her daddy, then out the door to work, directing and controlling the kids with stuff they already know. She would manage to come home late, go to bed early. I would have gotten her some fake card, and left it in her car or under her pillow. That's about it. What else do you do for someone who proudly boasts " I detached myself from you years ago"?
Instead I will run my chores today, like normal, have dinner ready for the teens, and go to my divorce recovery meeting tonight. We are giving each other affirmation compliments tonight!
I'd rather be at my meeting. Like many of you, when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries,.....It's just another day.
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Post by tamara68 on Sept 5, 2017 10:17:16 GMT -5
Hopefully you won't be living together much longer. And hopefully there will be new things to truly celebrate.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Sept 5, 2017 14:08:46 GMT -5
Have a great recovery meeting GC. You are more than good enough & you keep getting better every day! (This is my current favorite affirmation) Happy regular day to you,
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 5, 2017 14:48:24 GMT -5
Have a great recovery meeting GC. You are more than good enough & you keep getting better every day! (This is my current favorite affirmation) Happy regular day to you, I know a person who I can share/read that to tonight. They will appreciate it, like I did! Have a pleasant day!!
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Post by shamwow on Sept 5, 2017 15:26:30 GMT -5
How much longer until you are finally out? God, it's been over a year now or something like that, right?
Is Florida that backlogged, or is it just something peculiar about your case?
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 5, 2017 21:59:20 GMT -5
How much longer until you are finally out? God, it's been over a year now or something like that, right? Is Florida that backlogged, or is it just something peculiar about your case? It's my case. Short answer. My W firing and hiring three different, attorneys, my W's refusal to give on anything during mediation, my attorney believing another mediation would solve things, then came the deposition, my W stalling on answering supbeonas, the judge's surgery, and now finally getting our name put on the roster. So hopefully the court date will be this fall. On a really weird side note! Tomorrow I will be spending the day with my handyman, putting gutters and extensions on the rental house. We had a heavy 5 inches of rain the other day, and the water flooded the back porch and came into the kitchen. Now here comes Irma and Jose! This is money spent on a house that may no longer be mine? But I have tenants to take care of! These kind of decisions get more difficult when your going through divorce limbo. My daughter wants to play fall softball. It would be nice to know where I will be living, how far I will need to travel for her daily practices, what my job hours might be, will I be going to school for 8 weeks, how many days will I be with my children, who gets how many cars, etc.... I don't think it's fair to tell her , "no softball". I'm trying to keep things "normal" and take the high road that "we can handle it". Thanks for showing your concern, and asking!!
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 14, 2018 12:54:37 GMT -5
More of the truth is being exposed lately. Money and control. I won't go into the details. I wrote 7 pages of detail for my attorney.
When these incidences occur it affects the whole family, and it strengthens my decision to divorce.
One sons car needs repair. The W refuses to fix it. He stands up to her, and she uses it for manipulation.
The lies and double standards flow from her with zero empathy.
She then chooses favorites. (son over son) Hopefully the soon to be adults, will not hold it against one another. That's going to be a major hurdle and take years.
It's sad to see the abandonment of the family for self control, and gain. Then to watch others coward to get what is needed for now. Knowing that in time, what little bit of their relationship will end too.
Even her father is having to fend for himself more ( although he will be blind to it) as my controlling wife continues to bring issues of money, food, responsibilities of caring for an aging father, down upon the family to pick up her slack. Something she should have never taken on if she could not do it by herself. She will always force these things, because no one else is allowed to have a voice. the only voice that matters is hers.
So much that took years to build is being thrown away over money, power, and control.
I also predict that my older ones who are doing what it takes to "get what's needed" will also learn a hard lesson about how quickly their mom will turn on them , when they begin to want an even playing field. She will claim properties as hers and cut them away.
I pray I can be there for support as their father. ( that's a lot of baggage to bring to another woman. -a whole nother subject-but a choice for me to make. A balance to work on, as it changes from season to season)
Hopefully another 3 weeks until the divorce. ( I'm not holding my breath)
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Post by tamara68 on Feb 14, 2018 13:38:41 GMT -5
When is the next step? has there been set a date in court?
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 14, 2018 13:55:13 GMT -5
When is the next step? has there been set a date in court? March 5th and 6th. The case before mine took longer than expected. I have a different judge. One who is not very keen on awarding alimony. I have to take what I am dealt. At this point I can only hope that each case varies and that I could be awarded a larger lump sum instead of alimony. Either way I will be ready for a big change. The family seems ready too!
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Post by tamara68 on Feb 14, 2018 13:59:31 GMT -5
You are well prepared, it will be good to get it over with. Good luck!
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